...

"Magulo na rin ako ngayon eh."

"Bakit magulo?"

"Ewan ko. Kaya nga magulo diba, kasi di ko alam."

"Ano na ngayon?"

"Sa susunod na natin pag-usapan yan."

Isang buwan na ang nakalipas. Kailan pa kaya 'yang usapan na yan?

more about yesterday at CCP

I guess I was kind of rushing my entry last night about the auditions, so let me blog about what I had left out.

When I had arrived at CCP and found Sir Jed at the entrance, he had asked if I was watching ZsaZsa that day. I had told him that I had already watched on opening night, and will be watching on the last day's matinee, which is today. And then he protested that I had to watch that very day, because the new Dodong, Janvier Daily, will be performing during both matinee and evening shows. "Mas masarap ang Dodong today!" HAHAHAHA!

Then there was my mistake of cutting my bangs on Friday night. Big no-no. During the audition, when I had turned to my left for a profile shot, my hair fell down the side of my face, leaving my right side (which was facing the cameras and the panel) dead. Rawr.

While I was sitting on the floor next to Anna, Joel, Abner, Tad and Jen, Anna had asked me for the date that day. I suddenly forgot, then the lady at the registration table gave it to us. Hahaha, I said that I wasn't Y2K compliant, and CJ, who was sitting on my other side had added, "We actors don't have a sense of time." Oh yeah, hahaha.

And I just had to share a bit of my story to Tad while we were sitting at a table outside Starbucks. I couldn't help but spill because I hardly talk it out with anyone anymore. Then when we had returned to CCP and ran into Jerald on the 4th floor and again at the buffeteria, he just had to do a little teasing. Nyak. And I couldn't help but sound a little snappish, but at least hindi rin dedma, di ba? I really couldn't do that to anyone.

Hahaha, when we went back to the 4th floor to wait for Anna, Joel, Jen and Abner's audition, I found Hendri leaving the main theater (where Peter Pan was running) from the door near us. When he saw me, he just had to say that he couldn't bear to watch the show anymore. Hmmm... kinda reminds me of Ernest during an intermission of an Atlantis show, ahehe. Hendri even offered me his ticket so I can go in and take a peek, but I declined. So a bit of small talk ensued, and he asked what I was up to then. Once again, he asked if I was still joining AC. And he just had to say, "Pang-AC ka talaga eh, di ka bagay sa ********!" Oh my.

With that said, what else can I say?

Anyway, I'm out for now. Watching ZsaZsa Zaturnnah Ze Musikal again later, so I'm going to catch up on my sleep before I leave.

Cinemalaya auditions

Went to CCP this afternoon for the Cinemalaya auditions. I figured, hey, what the heck, I've got nothing to lose. So I went. Hehe, I even dragged Ace along. He recently just got bitten by the acting bug, so i invited him so he can finally get the feel of an audition.

While waiting for Ace at the entrance of CCP, I found Sir Jed just hanging around outside, obviously waiting for some friends. Small talk, until Drew appeared. As it turned out, Nicco had also messaged him about the audition. So he, Ace and I went up to the multipurpose hall together.

There were already a lot of people there, so we signed up and hung around. Tad had arrived with this other guy, Eric, while we were at the registration table.

It was a long wait, but it was cool. We spent the waiting time just joking around. When I was inside the room, I was intidmidated by the big group of people, all with cameras. Holy kamote. Oh well, whatever. What was that Gabby had said before? Bullshit your way out of it. Hahaha. So I did.

By the time Drew, Ace and I had finished our turns, Anna, Joel and Abner arrived. Oh yeah, and Jen had also arrived minutes before they did. Anyway, since it was another long wait, Tad and I had nothing to do. So we decided to hang around at Starbucks and chill. Rawr, all this talk about acting made me even more determined to try out for AC. Once again, we'll see.

We returned upstairs to look for Anna, Joel and Abner, but they had disappeared. There were a bunch of cast members for ZsaZsa though. Jerald had said that they might have gone to the buffeteria to eat, so we went to look for them there. Hahaha, Anna had quite the story to tell.

Surprise, Jerald had told me that Bobby had messaged him and Lao about Dogeaters. I didn't really believe him at first. Oh well. But then I had just checked my email just now, and sure enough, I found his name as well as Lao's in the newest email.

Anyway, when Anna, Joel and Abner were done, there was nothing else to do. I was hungry, so they went with me to Tapa King. Ahahaha, I was the only one who ate. Well, Tad had bought the rest a banana split to share. After Anna had left with her best friend, the rest of us then called it a night and headed home.

just a little fun to perk me up a little

Got this from Zyra...

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST AND I WANNA KNOW YOU... I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other.

1. Can you cook?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?

HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Negative or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. Whats your favorite memory of us?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What do you think of me as a Person?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Ever gotten angry with me?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Can you sing or dance?
24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest....

this evening... and pondering

Found this quote in Carla's blog a few weeks ago.

"Eventually, one of two things will happen:

He'll finally realize you're worth it....

...Or you'll realize that he wasn't..."

Carla, you're right, it relates to all of us girls. I totally admire your optimism and your fighting spirit.

This evening felt like a Monday during last year's post-workshop days. I had met up with Rain in Glorietta after work, and we found Nicco in the area as well, so we ended up hanging out together. It's actually very entertaining to be with these two guys at the same time. Both are the very talkative types, hardly listening to the other person who has more to tell. Sitting at a table in Food Choices, I had to alternately listen to each of them and what they had to say. Hahahaha!

I kinda miss times like that. Oh well.


Last Monday evening, I found myself at Starbucks Vito Cruz with Tad, Tara and Joel. Tad was asking me if I was joining the workshop this summer, and if I was finally planning to audition for the Actors Company. I said I wanted to join the workshop again. Still not sure about trying out for AC, because I'm planning to go back to school next term. It seems that every time I have something planned for the year, another thing comes up that I really want to do. Oh dear. I still want to pursue acting, but hello, it's about time I've set my priorities straight.

Before February ends, I should have already made a decision and have mapped out everything. Good luck to me.

a birthday dinner

Arrived from Carmella's place about an hour ago. She had invited a bunch of us to a dinner party at her house to celebrate her birthday, so off I went. Hahaha, never mind that I live in the south and she lives in the north and that it's a weekday.

Tin and I met up in Makati and took a cab all the way to Diliman. We kinda got lost when we were near the area, so we stopped to ask for directions twice. On the second time, we asked this street vendor and he had no idea what we were talking about. The girl who had just bought from him overheard us and pointed us to the place next door. We were already there and we didn't even know, hahaha!

Nicco was the one who greeted us at the door, and we hung around in the living room. Lye arrived a few minutes after we did. Spent some time talking, er, well, Nicco did most of the talking per usual, ahehe. He usually always has the most stories to tell, as most of you know, hahaha! After a while, it was time to eat, yay. The four of us shared a table with Carms constantly checking in on us and chatting while mingling with the rest of the guests.

Even those it was a small gathering, I still had fun just being with Tin, Lye, Carms and Nicco. Again, happy birthday, Carms!

Just got off the phone. Didn't take long, but the conversation was just as useless as... Oh well, a bunch of you know what I mean. I'm still wondering when this whole thing will end or whether it will last or whatever. I still can't tell whether I'm the one who did something or something else went wrong or what. Or maybe this is just another case of paranoia. And I can't believe I'm still standing here. I'll bet a whole bunch of you are already thinking that I'm actually dumb enough to stay.

Arg.

ramble on

First there was Rent. And now, Dreamgirls. For some reason, most or some people don't really appreciate musical theater in its true original (I can't think of any other terms, hahaha) form.

It seems that there's always a craze whenever a new movie musical comes out. Rent was already a hit years ago, but people only came to appreciate it when the movie came out last year. Now I feel as if it has become a little too overrated.

Now there's Dreamgirls with Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson and Jamie Foxx. Oh well. I still prefer my original cast recording of the songs. And of course, the Manila production, ahehehe. OK, so I may be a little biased with that last one, hahaha!

We started getting calls at the office about the Avenue Q auditions. Some questions were bearable, but others were downright crazy, hahaha.

==============================

Silence. I hate it. It keeps me thinking about all these things that I shouldn't worry about. It's annoying.

You know what's even more annoying that just plain silence? Dedma.

Now I look forward to weekends alone because... well, I don't know really know. What do I want to get away from?

My mind's a mess.

I'm sick and tired of people asking how I am and then segue to how we are. I have nothing to answer to that. I keep getting that question at least once a week and I have nothing to say. Like tonight.

"Kamusta na.....?"
"Ewan ko. Gusto ko rin malaman eh. Pero di kami nagkakausap eh. Tanungin mo sya para malaman natin ha?"

Igh.

==============================

To end this trivial blog post on a happy note, it's Carmella's birthday in about half an hour!

ADVANCED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CARMS!