Facing little fears.

I never really had that much confidence in myself. I may show an optimistic facade, but I'm really more of a pessimist.

This past week, I had to learn to face some of my fears. It was a personal challenge I took on for my own good.

But let's backtrack a bit, shall we?

After I had shown my 5-year plan to Mommy Val, she gave me a little personal objective for myself that I could accomplish (if I wanted to) by the end of the year. Part of it required me to take the recently announced Lebran teacher certification exam. Yikes. Yes, I have to learn to teach a class much sooner than I had expected, because we need more teachers to go around.

It was announced two Saturdays ago that the exam would take place the following Monday and Tuesday, so it was be in two batches.

I decided to take the exam on Monday just so I can get it over and done with right away. But before that, I had to survive the day first. For Lebran, Lenny and I had decided to use the first half of the class to practice for the routine part of the exam. Because it was Myrone's class, we let him take a breather during the first half, let him grab a bite to eat and relax, before he took over for the second half.

Then of course, there was Sir Roy's contemporary jazz class. Now, I had already attended one class the week before, so I was looking forward to the class no matter how hard the movements can be. But my goodness, things were taken to the next level. I had to learn to face two of my fears during that one hour class.

After some barre work (where we even ended up doing splits, yikes), we had to do some combinations. Then some choreography. My first fear was tested. As an acrophobic, I was afraid to be lifted up on one shoulder of my partner. Eep. It took a while, but I did manage to get over it. Then I realized that after being up in the air, we girls had to flip over while our legs are still hooked around the guys' right shoulder. Fear number two: fear of falling. I had to flip over, having my legs up in the air and my head possibly hitting the floor. Ack, When I first tried it, my legs still held on for dear life even though we were supposed to let go. But when I tried it again, I learned to take the rise and let go of my leg. In the end, Sir Roy actually liked how I made a split (or at least a semblance of it, anyway) when I released my legs before settling on the floor (quite clumsily, I might add).

Then after spending the afternoon in Magallanes, it was time for the exam after the evening's Lebran class. My goodness, I was more nervous about the routine part of the exam. I can do away with the oral and written exams. But even with that, I was nervous as heck. When it was my turn, my timing was a bit off, and even more when I changed figures. Arg. But at least the other parts of the exam were pretty easy. 

When I had texted Mommy Val the morning after, reminding her to bring a book that Myrone had recommended I read, she replied that she will, then added: "Morning Ms. CLT. Certified Lebran Teacher. You were great last night. Congrats for picking up the challenge! Proud of you Tin!"

Huwaw.

I had just started reading the book I borrowed. Here's a good quote from the very first chapter.

"Believe in yourself and good things do start happening." - The Magic of Thinking Big by David J. Schwartz, Ph.D.

It's about time that I should learn to believe in myself. Every day is a new challenge. Facing my trivial fears of heights, falling and teaching a class in the span of one day was some sort of a milestone. I'm really grateful to come across those situations, and to take on those challenges, as each accomplishment (such as facing those fears) is a small victory for me.