The annual year-ender entry.

Back in 2008, Betty and I would always say that 2009 will be our year. Well, to tell you the truth, every time another new year comes around the corner, I do feel optimistic, but I always say that half-heatedly. I guess I've been so used to not expecting too much so everything good will come out as a surprise. But of course, I'm not that too pessimistic either, hahaha.

2009 had its good and bad moments, and I have to say that every year is always a blast no matter what.

January
As usual, I spent the first day of the new year with Tad's family from his mother's side for their annual family reunion. This was also the month that PJ and Joy finally got married. It was great to see a lot of the Hogi Hall there, and we also took a side trip to good old De La Salle Zobel (as Iam had persisted) and hung out and talked with Brother Ceci. As we promised him that we'd come back and share our own stories with him, little did we know back then that that was the last time we'll ever talk to him. In school, I tried checking out the Crossroads Festival as a spur-of-the-moment decision and got casted in Pragres as Marina by default, ahahaha. Nakakahiya bigla ako kay Labli, ahehe.

February
I ditched most of the Pasinaya festivities this year to hang out with Lawyn and a bunch of others from Spring Awakening (they had a preview at the event, along with Spelling Bee) and Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah, talking the afternoon away in Harbour Square and part of the evening with Lawyn and Mae in Westgate. And yes, Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah Ze Musikal made a comeback with a bigger cast this month. Valentine's day was a simple dinner with Tad in between Zaturnnah shows. As for our "work in pragres," like I told the kids, being 2nd best isn't so bad, as it's still one of the best.

March
Another little project that I auditioned for earlier during the term suddenly came back into existence. I thought that I didn't get in, because I didn't hear from any of the people in charge for about a month. I only heard from them again the day after Crossroads had ended, and yep, I was in. I thought it was just a simple thesis production with students in the cast, but when I first walked into the first reading rehearsal of Summer's Nights, Summer's Dreams (Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, translated in Filipino), I almost walked back out in intimidation when I found out that I was the resident novice in the group. This month was when I also heard this phrase from Betty: "Kung walang opportunity, then make the opportunity." The term "Last Full Show" suddenly came up while Betty, Opa and I were talking over a Jollibee dinner. Ended the month by attending 9 Works Theatrical's Songs For A New World press conference.

April
Despite the fact that I had Summer's Nights, Summer's Dreams as an outlet, I was still filled with regret because I couldn't enroll in Sir Dennis' Rehearsal and Performance Techniques workshop for the 2nd year in a row due to schedule conflicts during the first two weeks of workshop. I had a blast anyway with the thesis prod's cast and creative team, and even though I already knew most of them as friends, it was quite a new experience to work with them as co-actors. Ended the month by opening the book on Nemesis again with Betty and Opa.

May
More plays, more fun. I worked under 9 Works Theatrical's production of Songs For A New World as their front-of-house head, and things went pretty smoothly, especially with our fearless production manager that was ever-present at the lobby. In between weekend shows, Betty, Opa and I did an adaptation of Nemesis at the Avellana Art Gallery during Joey Cobcobo's exhibit. This was also the month when I got hooked on shrink plastic, ever since I saw blog posts by Cecile (of Chuvaness) and Reggie about Saizen. Near the end of the month, Lara had hired me to be a guest artist for both showcases of the Make Believe classes that she was teaching. It was a blast, and I ended up also sharing with the pre-teen girls stuff I've learned from my own workshops, plus I learned how to deal with the younger kids. I was really flattered when Mads let out a whoop when I said that I would want to come back next year.

June
Lost 2 loved ones this month. First was Tita Nila, my mom's older sister. We had celebrated her birthday earlier in the month, and we had no idea that that was going to be her last birthday. Brother Ceci had also passed away this month. Anyway, like the TP workshops, I never got to be part of this year's Virgin Labfest. Despite my regrets about not working with Tuxqs for the second year in a row, I had to decline immediately to focus on other things. A mini-reunion of sorts with 2 N's punctuated the month, and despite certain sentimentality, I didn't realize that I was finally learning how to let go of some attachments.

July
In exchange for not being busy with a Labfest play this year, I got involved in another thesis production, this time a film. I think I was referred by Audz, one of the members of the thesis group of Summer's Nights, Summer's Dreams. It was a period film called La Cancion Del Olvido (The Song of Oblivion), and we got to shoot the entire thing at the set of Zorro in Bataan. During meetings and reading rehearsals prior to the shoot, we called the prospect of going to Bataan a "paid vacation" because we were told that there was a beach nearby. Unfortunately we never got to go to the beach. Ended up waiting and hanging out and eating during the first couple of days of the shoot, and it was suddenly lagare mode after that. Despite the last part of our stay being so hectic, I had a blast making new friends regardless of age. We even went crazy and had an inuman session on the last night (or wee hours) of our stay there. Opa's debuted onstage this month as Sepa in UPPT's Sepang Loca, and I was so darn proud of that bald girl (ahehehe) as her eyes spoke volumes.

August
This month was pretty uneventful except a reunion with Shan the day after her birthday. I had missed this girl that we spent an entire afternoon until evening at her house, just pigging out and talking the hours away. Another significant event was a coffee shop session with Drei and Nikki, beginning with trivial questions and pondering, and ending with road trip request. A crazy road trip to Tagaytay with Drei and Carla was one of the best random days I had. And yes, that entire day was so random.

September
Ed flew from Canada for his annual visit during this month, but it was a pretty short trip. It was still great to see him again, though, as I never got to see him the year before. Hopefully it will be a long trip next year. Got to watch Trumpets' production of N.O.A.H. at the Meralco theater this month, thanks to Joe. Haha, we got to sit in the gallery seats to get the "backstage effect" but I got a little distracted by the things happening in the wings (especially Carlos, hahaha). I also got to attend Atlantis' bloggers conference for Spring Awakening. Inspired by a chat with Nicco, I posted general interviews of him and some of his co-actors as a little extra publicity for them on my blog, hehe. Near the end of the month, Tad and I were supposed to celebrate our two-year anniversary the day that Ondoy hit the country, so that day and the ones that followed were spent at home to keep ourselves safe.

October
Even though I saw a DTR of Spring Awakening the previous month, I purchased a ticket as well (naks, support) so I could watch the show with Tin and Hilary. It was great to see Hil again, so I made some time hanging out at Starbucks with her and Tin, plus Hil's brother Erik and their friend Iya. Hil finally got to meet her crush, hehehe. I also got to spend some quality time with another "long lost" friend, Carmella. I never knew that wedding prep meetings were super fun until that day, as we talked, joked and bonded over frozen yogurt and Jenga. Rent auditions were also this month, and over 300 auditionees came from all over the metro and even beyond. I also discovered a friend's "stalker" this month, hahaha! On a serious note, a bunch of conversations over chat made me realize that I really should learn to detach and let go, and yet not forget about what had passed. But as per a friend's point, possible pa rin gawin ang "friendship's over" if all efforts have already been exhausted. That made me think.

November
Spent the first day of the month with Tad, as a belated birthday celebration for him. And as a birthday treat, we decided to check out Peaberry Cafe together for the first time. As Aris had finally come home from Senegal, he held a get-together at his house one night, which evolved into conversations about high school revelations. This was another month of realization, I was telling myself to detach some strings. Not just some, but a lot, judging from everything that was invested in some of these people. Instead of merely brooding, I got annoyed with a friend when I heard that convenience was this friend's priority about relationships and friendship. I couldn't exactly call it the last straw, but that was when it hit me that I should finally give up. I realized that I didn't need anymore bullshit. And it was apt that the following month made it more final.

December
Temporarily returned to Atlantis as an usher for their Christmas run of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. As an extra thrill, I was partly given the task (along with Johanna) of briefing guest spellers before every show, hehehe. Celebrated my birthday with Tad during the day, and with the Rent gang during the evening, and I was practically eating the whole day. A Starbucks session was made memorable with Betty, Jenny and Opa due to brainstorming punctuated with bear-with-salmon gestures. For the 2nd year in a row, someone in our family got married, and this time it was Ate Ching.

A lot of different events had happened this year, some good, and some bad. I'm grateful for both the good and the bad, because it wouldn't be a learning experience without both of these.

Lara had sent me this text message last year: "I drew out a card for you. WHEEL OF FORTUNE. A sudden change of fortune. May be good or bad but brings growth and a new phase of life." So I lessened my pessimism. But I never waited for anything good to come. I just did what I wanted to do. As the year comes to a close, I came to realize that the change of fortune wasn't literally about wealth or luck, but the wealth of experience and certain luck about your progress through life.

Over dinner at Dencio's this month, someone had said that she admired Betty's walang plastikan attitude, to which she replied that she was already too old for bullshit. As an afterthought, I said to myself, kailangan ba nating maghintay na tumanda tayo lalo para maging transparent? It seems na parami ng parami ang mga plastic na tao ngayon eh. Pati ang mga kapwa kaibigan, nagpaplastikan na sa isa't isa.

I'm sick and tired of all the efforts when it comes to friendship. Tigilan na ang kaplastikan, tigilan na rin ang gamitan. There are some friends who practically live on the compliments that people give to feed their ego. Others naman, andyan lang pag kailangan ka, or andyan pag pinupuri mo lang. Nawawala pag may iba nang ka-jive. There are friends who think that other friends are only there for a short time, so bahala na ang ibang tao. Eh pano kung hindi na babalik yung mga iniwanan mo? Yes, dito nanaman papasok ang term ni Betty na "peripheral friends." "I could live without these people but I would just die without them." It seems as if the way they're acting now, parang wala na eh. I guess it's high time to let them go kung pagod ka na mag-effort. Unless they show otherwise, that is.

But in November, I had learned that despite how long you've known your loved ones, you still learn something new about them every day, which builds up your relationship with them even more.

So as 2009 draws to a close, it's time for me to decide whether certain people are worth keeping. It's also time for more new things in 2010. I've learned to let go, so let the new things come knocking.

To those who I've spent an awesome time with in 2009, I had a blast. Here's to us in 2010.