Summing up the year 2010.

So finally, here's my annual year in review. Bear with me, as this will be a pretty long entry.

I welcomed the year 2010 halfheartedly, as I had some doubts over certain aspects in my life right from the start. But of course, pessimism will get me nowhere, so I always have that ounce of optimism every once in a while.

As I always say, every year is a blast no matter what, and we can never avoid all the ups and downs. This year gave way to a lot of changes, so despite all the pitfalls, it's still been one year I'll never forget.

January
Little did I know that watching Footloose and hearing a particular bible verse could actually sum up what was to come for the entire year. The famous Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 said:

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Early into the year, I told myself that I should look more into the relationships with the people I love, to see if they're still worth investing in. Little did I know that one significant relationship would disappear by then. At the end of the month, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Not much explanation, but let's just say that he had his reasons.

That month was also a reunion of sorts with some of my cousins from the US. I haven't seen them since I was 7 years old, and their visit was a perfect opportunity to bond with them both here in Manila and during our 3-day trip to Palawan.

As an outlet, Para hindi mo ito maintindihan was born and performed this month, and it was a great way to bond with Betty, Jenny and Opa, plus a way to explore certain emotions and actions.

February
This month marked the most emotional time I've had all year. I was so glad that I was somehow kept busy because I was working for Rent's front-of-house. I began the month full of hope due to a nice, clean breakup, which eventually led to a breakdown. I was actually surprised at myself for being so angry at someone to the extent of shouting at that person over the phone. But despite that, I guess it was right to have a reason to be angry in order to be able to move on. And near the end of the month, Carmie and Jay got married, and I was so honored to be a part and to help out on their special day. Their wedding made me feel more optimistic about the future, making me believe in love all over again.

March
I was so glad to have Avenue Q to keep me busy after Rent had closed, and I was also grateful for friends who keep constantly in touch during this time, so the bad days grew farther apart. This month also marked a significant get-together with my fellow Dashing Divas, Lara and Dingdong. We trekked all the way up north to UP to watch a thesis production of They're Playing Our Song, and Lara and I both agreed that it was the right show to watch at the right time for us. Another get-together this month was with BFFs Micah and Dyown, both whom I haven't seen since we went to Bulacan for an episode of Chef To Go. I also managed to watch a few shows in CCP despite some awkward circumstances, like TP's Tatlong Mariya, and the AC's voice, dance and acting recitals.

April
I was invited by Lesley to join Make Believe this year and teach my own class, and I was all up for it until we found out that because there weren't enough students, the class got dissolved. Too bad. But I did manage to help out a bit in Lara's class, and despite the fact that I still had to endure the crazy service road, I still loved going there. And while we're still talking about workshops, I also returned to TP's Rehearsal and Performance Techniques workshop, considering the fact that I didn't get to join last year. It felt like a brand new class, having new teachers (Miss Tess and JK), new classmates (I was the only returnee in the class), and a new attack on the class itself. I remember that we were often reminded to challenge ourselves everyday, to "go for the kill" and "get in trouble." This month also gave me the opportunity to be in Sir Dennis' Cinemalaya film entry, and I had a blast hanging out in between takes with Betty, Rayna, Dave and the infamous "Sir July," ahahaha.

May
Kicked off the month with our Rehearsal and Performance Techniques recital, R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots). Quite a challenge playing not just one, but two masculine roles, ahahaha. Anyway, I was grateful for the fact that I've been pretty busy the month before, and decided to continue it this following month with Lara's Make Believe class, as she had gotten me as a guest actor for her class' recital of her own version of The Little Prince. And speaking of Lara, one highlight of this month was the Saturday that we had planned to go up north after Make Believe to watch a couple of recitals in MC under TP. Because of the crazy traffic along the service road, we didn't make it to her Make Believe class in the morning and opted to trek straight up north. My goodness, we were on the jeepney for 4 hours before we made it to Edsa. When we got to MC, we got to watch Tad and Paolo's workshop class' recital (also a version of The Little Prince) before we grabbed a bite at the newly opened MushroomBurger along Katipunan. Lara also gave me a tour of the Ateneo campus through her reminiscing eyes, and while doing that, we spotted a poster of TA's production of La Ronde, which was closing that very evening. It took a lot of effort for Lara to convince me to watch, and we eventually did, after watching Riki's workshop class' recital of La Casa de Bernarda Alba. Huwaw, it made the trek up north worth it, just having a 3-play marathon with my breast friend.

Another significant event this month was that I had decided to grab a different job opportunity, thanks to Anna's referral. I was actually surprised to get the phone interview while hanging out with Lara and Nina in Montessori.

June
This month marked a significant shift of paths for this year. I just got hired as a part-time agent for Convergys. The frustrating part of being hired at this time was that a perfect avenue had just opened, and because of the path I chose, it hindered me to take the avenue of opportunity. But hey, I can always try it next year, right?

Gino had asked me over lunch one day what I had gained since the last relationship that I had lost. Off the top of my head, I had said that I gained the chance to venture out into this opportunity that I used to kept saying no to. Anyway, it was such a refreshing change, and it made me welcome and acknowledge all the other changes that's been going on.

Alongside my first month training and being briefed on the floor at work, I also juggled ushering duties for Atlantis' Legally Blonde. Because of late nights and early mornings, I found myself sleeping during the mid-day instead of at night. But even with that, I even managed to find time catching a few sets of Virgin Labfest at CCP.

I could feel certain friends starting to drift apart as well. It's frustrating, really. Plus I also learned the truth as to how one relationship got strained. Now that I've learned the truth, I guess I have to learn to deal with it. And it made me wonder if I should still try to gain someone's trust after I've lost it unintentionally. Heck, of course.

July
Basically the first half of the month was still juggling Legally Blonde and still being a newbie on the floor at work. And I still managed to watch a bunch of Labfest plays during the less busy days, as well as the preview of Rep's Equus. Immediately after Legally Blonde had closed, Jan and I found another window of opportunity as merchandisers for Cats in CCP. Gigo and I even got to be one of the first to meet the cast (thanks to Sam) as soon as they emerged from the airport. Even after a bit of minor disagreements about our work and fees, we resigned and got rehired due to certain compromises.

Funny how finding myself sitting alone in Starbucks one afternoon can lead to good pondering moments. After all, that particular branch had been witness to a lot of what had happened to me.

August
The beginning of the month required certain pondering and thinking whether I should take the script analysis class under TP. Even though it was exclusive for AC scholars, apprentices and members, they had to decided to open it for a few outsiders, so I took a lot of time thinking whether I should take this class, considering certain "given circumstances" to consider. Eventually, I decided to give it a go, thanks to the good advice of certain friends. So aside from work for 4 mornings, I had merchandising duties during Cats' weekday shows, plus I attend script analysis class every Friday afternoon.

I also got the opportunity to watch Cats one weekend, thanks to the people behind it. I was thrilled to sit at a really good seat, so I had a pretty good view of everything. I was totally in awe during the entire show, because of the talented triple-threats, the set, and the technicals. It was such a treat.

Ended the month watching Banaag at Sikat by TP, Orosman at Zafira in UP, and taking a road trip with Rosa and Iam to Tagaytay.

September
Another month, another show. I had more ushering duties, this time for Atlantis' Xanadu. For a while, I was not allowed in the roster of ushers, because someone had blabbed a stupid lie to the biggies. Goes to show how much you don't know me, whoever you are.

Ed visited again this month from Canada, and because I was busy during the weekends, we met up during a weekday.

Another significant event this month was that Evan was born on the same day as his daddy! I visited Carms, Jay and Evan the day after the birth. Unfortunately, Evan was in the ICU, but I was so glad just to see him, as well as his parents.

At the end of the month, I managed to watch more shows. There was TP's American Hwangap featuring Nicco, Information For Foreigners where Betty and Opa were involved in, and a twinbill of Alimuom and Walang Maliw featuring Tad and Kat.

One thing I have to say about this month is that friends with benefits really do exist.

October
Not much occurred during this month, I realized, but looking back on my blog entries, there were still quite a few significant events, like a rare get-together with Nikki and Nicco at the beginning of the month. We ended up sitting around, talking about certain issues and updates, and joking and laughing about certain things that had happened between us in the past.

Sometime in the middle of the month, I remember pondering about things that had transpired, and I eventually started searching for the crux, that vital point where a decision has to be or has been made, and after that, everything that follows is irreversible. Once I found that crux, there was a time that I sometimes wished I could go back to that, and just freeze time where things were fine and peachy.

At the end of the month, more ushering duties came in the form of 9 Works Theatrical's Wedding Singer. I was in charge of a team of crazy ushers, but despite their craziness and quirks, I was grateful having them on my team, instead of dealing with different ushers every show.

November
I was surprised that I was told that I was being prepped up to be a primary agent at work, but I guess I wasn't that prepared, plus the fact that I was having a lousy cough that never went away for quite a long time, so I sort of flubbed for a while.

I discovered a new place to eat up north, The Real Thing Diner, thanks to Noelle and Lara. It was a great opportunity to finally hang out with Noelle, then Lara and I got to hang out with Nina in Makati afterwards.

Speaking of more get-togethers, I had a mini-reunion with a bunch of high school friends from the track and field team. It was great to see some of them again, considering the last time I had seen some of them were after high school graduation.

After closing Wedding Singer, I managed to catch the preview show of Spotlight's Magsimula Ka, and sitting inside Music Museum made me remember all those few times that I was there for a couple of memorable projects several years ago.

Other than that musical, I got to watch a set of laboratory plays by FEU's theater guild, as one of the plays was directed by Tad. Wahahaha, and to think that the play that he directed was sort of a remake of Labfest 2's Palanca In My Mind. Even though with all the similarities, he did manage to add a little flavor into it.

December
This was the only time that I realized how fast the months flew by. Six months of working part-time in an industry I first thought I wouldn't be caught dead in, and I was grateful for the work and the people I've met because of it. This was the year I had more ushering/front-of-house duties than I had expected, and I managed to survive the year without having a significant other, plus I managed to stay friends (even though it took a while) with my last one.

I celebrated my birthday quietly and on my own, and it opened up a brand new perspective for me. But I managed to make up for it by celebrating one of my 2 best friend's birthday two days after.

I never expected 2010 to be an awesome year, but it was never a crummy year as well despite all those pitfalls. Things aren't all they're cracked up to be, but even with your expectations, you still accept both the good and the bad. Whenever something hinders your path, you'll surprise yourself by eventually finding a way (sometimes an ever better way) around it.

I'm glad for all the hurdles I went through in 2010. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for them, and the people who helped me get through them.


Lara sent me a Facebook message at the end of 2009:

I drew out a card for you. QUEEN OF WANDS.

Either you are this person or you will encounter someone who has these traits and will influence you.

Someone who is magnetic, attractive, believes in woman power, optimistic, self-assured, and upbeat.

You are dedicated to a task, friendly, easy going and wholeheartedly involved in everything you do. You are charismatic, creative, and knows where you're going. You are sexually accomplished. Hehe. You brighted up the atmosphere and are undaunted by challenges.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I look back and started looking for that person, and I realized that it was me. Well, in a way, hahaha. I realized I kept myself optimistic even when dark clouds started looming over me. I had to make all efforts work no matter what I did this year, and I do hope I can carry it on in 2011 and the years to come.

2010 was one heck of a roller coaster ride. As I'm afraid of literal roller coasters, so was I of this metaphorical roller coaster of a year. It was exciting, boring, daunting, and enlightening. People came and left for different reasons. I've lost and gained certain things. Thank you to those who have been there with me during the ride. With this, I look forward to 2011.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!