So finally, here's my annual year in review. Bear with me, as this will be a pretty long entry.
I welcomed the year 2010 halfheartedly, as I had some doubts over certain aspects in my life right from the start. But of course, pessimism will get me nowhere, so I always have that ounce of optimism every once in a while.
As I always say, every year is a blast no matter what, and we can never avoid all the ups and downs. This year gave way to a lot of changes, so despite all the pitfalls, it's still been one year I'll never forget.
January
Little did I know that watching Footloose and hearing a particular bible verse could actually sum up what was to come for the entire year. The famous Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 said:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven;
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
Early into the year, I told myself that I should look more into the relationships with the people I love, to see if they're still worth investing in. Little did I know that one significant relationship would disappear by then. At the end of the month, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. Not much explanation, but let's just say that he had his reasons.
That month was also a reunion of sorts with some of my cousins from the US. I haven't seen them since I was 7 years old, and their visit was a perfect opportunity to bond with them both here in Manila and during our 3-day trip to Palawan.
As an outlet, Para hindi mo ito maintindihan was born and performed this month, and it was a great way to bond with Betty, Jenny and Opa, plus a way to explore certain emotions and actions.
February
This month marked the most emotional time I've had all year. I was so glad that I was somehow kept busy because I was working for Rent's front-of-house. I began the month full of hope due to a nice, clean breakup, which eventually led to a breakdown. I was actually surprised at myself for being so angry at someone to the extent of shouting at that person over the phone. But despite that, I guess it was right to have a reason to be angry in order to be able to move on. And near the end of the month, Carmie and Jay got married, and I was so honored to be a part and to help out on their special day. Their wedding made me feel more optimistic about the future, making me believe in love all over again.
March
I was so glad to have Avenue Q to keep me busy after Rent had closed, and I was also grateful for friends who keep constantly in touch during this time, so the bad days grew farther apart. This month also marked a significant get-together with my fellow Dashing Divas, Lara and Dingdong. We trekked all the way up north to UP to watch a thesis production of They're Playing Our Song, and Lara and I both agreed that it was the right show to watch at the right time for us. Another get-together this month was with BFFs Micah and Dyown, both whom I haven't seen since we went to Bulacan for an episode of Chef To Go. I also managed to watch a few shows in CCP despite some awkward circumstances, like TP's Tatlong Mariya, and the AC's voice, dance and acting recitals.
April
I was invited by Lesley to join Make Believe this year and teach my own class, and I was all up for it until we found out that because there weren't enough students, the class got dissolved. Too bad. But I did manage to help out a bit in Lara's class, and despite the fact that I still had to endure the crazy service road, I still loved going there. And while we're still talking about workshops, I also returned to TP's Rehearsal and Performance Techniques workshop, considering the fact that I didn't get to join last year. It felt like a brand new class, having new teachers (Miss Tess and JK), new classmates (I was the only returnee in the class), and a new attack on the class itself. I remember that we were often reminded to challenge ourselves everyday, to "go for the kill" and "get in trouble." This month also gave me the opportunity to be in Sir Dennis' Cinemalaya film entry, and I had a blast hanging out in between takes with Betty, Rayna, Dave and the infamous "Sir July," ahahaha.
May
Kicked off the month with our Rehearsal and Performance Techniques recital, R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots). Quite a challenge playing not just one, but two masculine roles, ahahaha. Anyway, I was grateful for the fact that I've been pretty busy the month before, and decided to continue it this following month with Lara's Make Believe class, as she had gotten me as a guest actor for her class' recital of her own version of The Little Prince. And speaking of Lara, one highlight of this month was the Saturday that we had planned to go up north after Make Believe to watch a couple of recitals in MC under TP. Because of the crazy traffic along the service road, we didn't make it to her Make Believe class in the morning and opted to trek straight up north. My goodness, we were on the jeepney for 4 hours before we made it to Edsa. When we got to MC, we got to watch Tad and Paolo's workshop class' recital (also a version of The Little Prince) before we grabbed a bite at the newly opened MushroomBurger along Katipunan. Lara also gave me a tour of the Ateneo campus through her reminiscing eyes, and while doing that, we spotted a poster of TA's production of La Ronde, which was closing that very evening. It took a lot of effort for Lara to convince me to watch, and we eventually did, after watching Riki's workshop class' recital of La Casa de Bernarda Alba. Huwaw, it made the trek up north worth it, just having a 3-play marathon with my breast friend.
Another significant event this month was that I had decided to grab a different job opportunity, thanks to Anna's referral. I was actually surprised to get the phone interview while hanging out with Lara and Nina in Montessori.
June
This month marked a significant shift of paths for this year. I just got hired as a part-time agent for Convergys. The frustrating part of being hired at this time was that a perfect avenue had just opened, and because of the path I chose, it hindered me to take the avenue of opportunity. But hey, I can always try it next year, right?
Gino had asked me over lunch one day what I had gained since the last relationship that I had lost. Off the top of my head, I had said that I gained the chance to venture out into this opportunity that I used to kept saying no to. Anyway, it was such a refreshing change, and it made me welcome and acknowledge all the other changes that's been going on.
Alongside my first month training and being briefed on the floor at work, I also juggled ushering duties for Atlantis' Legally Blonde. Because of late nights and early mornings, I found myself sleeping during the mid-day instead of at night. But even with that, I even managed to find time catching a few sets of Virgin Labfest at CCP.
I could feel certain friends starting to drift apart as well. It's frustrating, really. Plus I also learned the truth as to how one relationship got strained. Now that I've learned the truth, I guess I have to learn to deal with it. And it made me wonder if I should still try to gain someone's trust after I've lost it unintentionally. Heck, of course.
July
Basically the first half of the month was still juggling Legally Blonde and still being a newbie on the floor at work. And I still managed to watch a bunch of Labfest plays during the less busy days, as well as the preview of Rep's Equus. Immediately after Legally Blonde had closed, Jan and I found another window of opportunity as merchandisers for Cats in CCP. Gigo and I even got to be one of the first to meet the cast (thanks to Sam) as soon as they emerged from the airport. Even after a bit of minor disagreements about our work and fees, we resigned and got rehired due to certain compromises.
Funny how finding myself sitting alone in Starbucks one afternoon can lead to good pondering moments. After all, that particular branch had been witness to a lot of what had happened to me.
August
The beginning of the month required certain pondering and thinking whether I should take the script analysis class under TP. Even though it was exclusive for AC scholars, apprentices and members, they had to decided to open it for a few outsiders, so I took a lot of time thinking whether I should take this class, considering certain "given circumstances" to consider. Eventually, I decided to give it a go, thanks to the good advice of certain friends. So aside from work for 4 mornings, I had merchandising duties during Cats' weekday shows, plus I attend script analysis class every Friday afternoon.
I also got the opportunity to watch Cats one weekend, thanks to the people behind it. I was thrilled to sit at a really good seat, so I had a pretty good view of everything. I was totally in awe during the entire show, because of the talented triple-threats, the set, and the technicals. It was such a treat.
Ended the month watching Banaag at Sikat by TP, Orosman at Zafira in UP, and taking a road trip with Rosa and Iam to Tagaytay.
September
Another month, another show. I had more ushering duties, this time for Atlantis' Xanadu. For a while, I was not allowed in the roster of ushers, because someone had blabbed a stupid lie to the biggies. Goes to show how much you don't know me, whoever you are.
Ed visited again this month from Canada, and because I was busy during the weekends, we met up during a weekday.
Another significant event this month was that Evan was born on the same day as his daddy! I visited Carms, Jay and Evan the day after the birth. Unfortunately, Evan was in the ICU, but I was so glad just to see him, as well as his parents.
At the end of the month, I managed to watch more shows. There was TP's American Hwangap featuring Nicco, Information For Foreigners where Betty and Opa were involved in, and a twinbill of Alimuom and Walang Maliw featuring Tad and Kat.
One thing I have to say about this month is that friends with benefits really do exist.
October
Not much occurred during this month, I realized, but looking back on my blog entries, there were still quite a few significant events, like a rare get-together with Nikki and Nicco at the beginning of the month. We ended up sitting around, talking about certain issues and updates, and joking and laughing about certain things that had happened between us in the past.
Sometime in the middle of the month, I remember pondering about things that had transpired, and I eventually started searching for the crux, that vital point where a decision has to be or has been made, and after that, everything that follows is irreversible. Once I found that crux, there was a time that I sometimes wished I could go back to that, and just freeze time where things were fine and peachy.
At the end of the month, more ushering duties came in the form of 9 Works Theatrical's Wedding Singer. I was in charge of a team of crazy ushers, but despite their craziness and quirks, I was grateful having them on my team, instead of dealing with different ushers every show.
November
I was surprised that I was told that I was being prepped up to be a primary agent at work, but I guess I wasn't that prepared, plus the fact that I was having a lousy cough that never went away for quite a long time, so I sort of flubbed for a while.
I discovered a new place to eat up north, The Real Thing Diner, thanks to Noelle and Lara. It was a great opportunity to finally hang out with Noelle, then Lara and I got to hang out with Nina in Makati afterwards.
Speaking of more get-togethers, I had a mini-reunion with a bunch of high school friends from the track and field team. It was great to see some of them again, considering the last time I had seen some of them were after high school graduation.
After closing Wedding Singer, I managed to catch the preview show of Spotlight's Magsimula Ka, and sitting inside Music Museum made me remember all those few times that I was there for a couple of memorable projects several years ago.
Other than that musical, I got to watch a set of laboratory plays by FEU's theater guild, as one of the plays was directed by Tad. Wahahaha, and to think that the play that he directed was sort of a remake of Labfest 2's Palanca In My Mind. Even though with all the similarities, he did manage to add a little flavor into it.
December
This was the only time that I realized how fast the months flew by. Six months of working part-time in an industry I first thought I wouldn't be caught dead in, and I was grateful for the work and the people I've met because of it. This was the year I had more ushering/front-of-house duties than I had expected, and I managed to survive the year without having a significant other, plus I managed to stay friends (even though it took a while) with my last one.
I celebrated my birthday quietly and on my own, and it opened up a brand new perspective for me. But I managed to make up for it by celebrating one of my 2 best friend's birthday two days after.
I never expected 2010 to be an awesome year, but it was never a crummy year as well despite all those pitfalls. Things aren't all they're cracked up to be, but even with your expectations, you still accept both the good and the bad. Whenever something hinders your path, you'll surprise yourself by eventually finding a way (sometimes an ever better way) around it.
I'm glad for all the hurdles I went through in 2010. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for them, and the people who helped me get through them.
Lara sent me a Facebook message at the end of 2009:
I drew out a card for you. QUEEN OF WANDS.
Either you are this person or you will encounter someone who has these traits and will influence you.
Someone who is magnetic, attractive, believes in woman power, optimistic, self-assured, and upbeat.
You are dedicated to a task, friendly, easy going and wholeheartedly involved in everything you do. You are charismatic, creative, and knows where you're going. You are sexually accomplished. Hehe. You brighted up the atmosphere and are undaunted by challenges.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I look back and started looking for that person, and I realized that it was me. Well, in a way, hahaha. I realized I kept myself optimistic even when dark clouds started looming over me. I had to make all efforts work no matter what I did this year, and I do hope I can carry it on in 2011 and the years to come.
2010 was one heck of a roller coaster ride. As I'm afraid of literal roller coasters, so was I of this metaphorical roller coaster of a year. It was exciting, boring, daunting, and enlightening. People came and left for different reasons. I've lost and gained certain things. Thank you to those who have been there with me during the ride. With this, I look forward to 2011.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
First half of the Christmas week.
Last Sunday was CEAA's Christmas party (themed "A Hippie Christmas") in TGIF Glorietta, so even though I wanted to sleep in after a night with my high school friends, I had to go to our office after lunch on Sunday to meet with some of my teammates for our performance at the Christmas party. I got there half an hour late, but even with that, only Rae and Jammie were there.
We ended up staying all afternoon in the nearest huddle room, blocking, choreographing and rehearsing the performance, plus making the simple props that we needed. Thank goodness Dang was there, in need of a place to plug in her laptop. That way, she can surf to her heart's content, and at the same time, play DJ to our team, ahahaha.
When we finally thought we were ready, us three girls (Rae, Jam and me) changed into our clothes and started prepping up for the party. Ahehe, because of my choice to wear a bandanna around my head instead of the usual strands of beads that half the girls wore, I ended up looking more like a gypsy instead of a hippie, ahahaha.
Anyway, the party was actually a blast. I heard that during last year's Christmas party, only four teams performed. This year, all the teams came out sort of competitive, ahahaha! Thank goodness we decided to perform first. Ayan, star pa si Jammie, nyahahaha.
One thing that's so funny with a couple of the TLs (the most competitive of them) was that every time they see me, they would quip, "Ah, si Hogi, nasa theater yan. Baka magaling ang group ni Jammie sa sayaw." Ahehe, can I just say, just because I work in theater doesn't automatically mean I'm a good dancer. Oh well, that's what stereotyping can do to you.
Because of the celebrations during the weekend, I felt as if I lost an entire day on Monday, because I had an annoying migraine and slept the entire day away. And because I was sleeping the whole time, I forgot to eat, so when early Tuesday morning came, I suddenly had dizzy spells before I started getting ready to meet with Rosa. Thank goodness I managed to gobble down some breakfast before setting off.
So on Tuesday morning, I invited Rosa to join me for Carlos Celdran's "If These Walls Could Talk" tour in Intramuros. She invited Mickey along as well. My goodness, because of the crazy traffic jam along South Superhighway, Mickey was the one who got there first, and we were an hour and a half late for the tour. Thank goodness for Mickey's constant texting, we managed to catch up to where they were.
I have to say, Carlos' "Walk This Way" tours are the best. I manage to eavesdrop on the beginning of his "Living La Vida Imelda" tours a couple of times because they always begin in front of the CCP Little Theater lobby gift shop, and because I always hang out in the LT lobby, where it's located, I sometimes try and pretend to be part of his crowd... until they start moving to another venue, ahahaha. Anyway, the Intramuros tour is one that you really shouldn't miss. Despite the fact I was still sort of feeling dizzy when we were still looking for where they were so we could catch up with them, I felt much better after a while, and got so captivated with all the things that Carlos had said. You could pick up so many interesting bits of trivia about Philippine history that you will never find in history school books. And it will make you give more than a second look at Manila, and end up beaming with pride because you are Filipino, no matter how mixed up like the halo-halo we can be.
After the tour, Rosa, Mickey and I headed to SM Mall of Asia and had lunch at Jatujak. Then we went to Toy Kingdom to help Rosa look for Christmas gifts for her godchildren. It's been quite a long while since I set foot and immersed myself in a toy store, so I had quite a time checking out the toys that Rosa was considering for Martina. This one toy freaked me out, though. Aside from the lifelike dolls and interactive character toys, I saw this one monkey. The "try me" sign instructed to put the banana he was holding in one hand to his lips, so I did. To my shock, his lips suddenly moved, and it totally creeped me out because it was so lifelike. Ooooh, you toys shock me.
Anyway, today is Christmas Eve. Only a few hours to go before Christmas. Only a few more days before the new year rolls around. Year-ender entry coming up soon!
We ended up staying all afternoon in the nearest huddle room, blocking, choreographing and rehearsing the performance, plus making the simple props that we needed. Thank goodness Dang was there, in need of a place to plug in her laptop. That way, she can surf to her heart's content, and at the same time, play DJ to our team, ahahaha.
When we finally thought we were ready, us three girls (Rae, Jam and me) changed into our clothes and started prepping up for the party. Ahehe, because of my choice to wear a bandanna around my head instead of the usual strands of beads that half the girls wore, I ended up looking more like a gypsy instead of a hippie, ahahaha.
Anyway, the party was actually a blast. I heard that during last year's Christmas party, only four teams performed. This year, all the teams came out sort of competitive, ahahaha! Thank goodness we decided to perform first. Ayan, star pa si Jammie, nyahahaha.
One thing that's so funny with a couple of the TLs (the most competitive of them) was that every time they see me, they would quip, "Ah, si Hogi, nasa theater yan. Baka magaling ang group ni Jammie sa sayaw." Ahehe, can I just say, just because I work in theater doesn't automatically mean I'm a good dancer. Oh well, that's what stereotyping can do to you.
Because of the celebrations during the weekend, I felt as if I lost an entire day on Monday, because I had an annoying migraine and slept the entire day away. And because I was sleeping the whole time, I forgot to eat, so when early Tuesday morning came, I suddenly had dizzy spells before I started getting ready to meet with Rosa. Thank goodness I managed to gobble down some breakfast before setting off.
So on Tuesday morning, I invited Rosa to join me for Carlos Celdran's "If These Walls Could Talk" tour in Intramuros. She invited Mickey along as well. My goodness, because of the crazy traffic jam along South Superhighway, Mickey was the one who got there first, and we were an hour and a half late for the tour. Thank goodness for Mickey's constant texting, we managed to catch up to where they were.
I have to say, Carlos' "Walk This Way" tours are the best. I manage to eavesdrop on the beginning of his "Living La Vida Imelda" tours a couple of times because they always begin in front of the CCP Little Theater lobby gift shop, and because I always hang out in the LT lobby, where it's located, I sometimes try and pretend to be part of his crowd... until they start moving to another venue, ahahaha. Anyway, the Intramuros tour is one that you really shouldn't miss. Despite the fact I was still sort of feeling dizzy when we were still looking for where they were so we could catch up with them, I felt much better after a while, and got so captivated with all the things that Carlos had said. You could pick up so many interesting bits of trivia about Philippine history that you will never find in history school books. And it will make you give more than a second look at Manila, and end up beaming with pride because you are Filipino, no matter how mixed up like the halo-halo we can be.
After the tour, Rosa, Mickey and I headed to SM Mall of Asia and had lunch at Jatujak. Then we went to Toy Kingdom to help Rosa look for Christmas gifts for her godchildren. It's been quite a long while since I set foot and immersed myself in a toy store, so I had quite a time checking out the toys that Rosa was considering for Martina. This one toy freaked me out, though. Aside from the lifelike dolls and interactive character toys, I saw this one monkey. The "try me" sign instructed to put the banana he was holding in one hand to his lips, so I did. To my shock, his lips suddenly moved, and it totally creeped me out because it was so lifelike. Ooooh, you toys shock me.
Anyway, today is Christmas Eve. Only a few hours to go before Christmas. Only a few more days before the new year rolls around. Year-ender entry coming up soon!
Rosa's Star City birthday.
For Rosa's birthday last Saturday, she had talked out a bunch of plans, but things sort of fell through, so she decided to keep it simple for our happy trio.
We had dinner at Dencio's in Harbour Square, just the 3 of us. Her friend Mickey was also supposed to come, but he had to cancel at the last minute, so it was just the trio that night. Haha, almost immediately, we came up with a bunch of crazy quotable quips way before our food arrived.
To quote what Iam had posted on her Facebook status that evening...
Rosa: (nakakita ng lalaking may DSLR) Bakit maikli 'yung sa kanya?
Hogi: (nanlaki ang mata)
Iam: Nasanay ka na kasi sa European.
AHAHAHAHAHA.
Stuffed ourselves at Dencio's, then we decided to get coffee at Starbucks before our "main event." But unfortunately, Starbucks was packed. I have to say, I miss the old layout of that Starbucks branch, because there were more places to sit and chill. It doesnt' feel as homey as before anymore. Anyway, we got our coffee, then we headed to Star City. Hahaha, yes, that was the highlight of Rosa's birthday.
Well, none of us were really fans of the rides (especially acrophobic little me), so we headed for the shops and browsed around. Iam was looking for a tommy gun for their company Christmas party, as well as a pair of good quality couple shirts that she and Ge will wear on their Korea trip. We all ended up getting these crazy hats in one store.
Hehe, Iam got this anime hat with ears and a vein, Rosa got the Piranha plant hat from the Super Mario Brothers games, while I got a Goomba hat, also from Super Mario. We ended up wearing them the entire evening that we were in Star City. Thank goodness we were wearing them, because when one of us would stray away (usually Rosa, ahahaha), looking for the hats were easy, as they were so different from all the common hats that were bought by the rest of the crowd.
We checked out the games and even tried a couple of them, and Rosa managed to win one small toy out of sheer luck, hehe. When we checked out the rides outside, Rosa and Iam before both laughing at me because whenever I watch one of the crazy ones zip by, I had this open-mouthed "in awe" look, hahaha!
Anyway, we kept walking around the entire place, checking out the other games, watching and laughing at the people who were in the rides and even the ones in line (meron ba naman kasing isang malaking group of girls in line just putting on makeup before their turn at the Pirate Adventure ride).
Anyway, when we got a text from Josh (who was with Seph at Ben and Jeng's wedding also that very night) that they were leaving the reception, we headed back to Harbour Square to meet with them. Unfortunately, Dencio's was already closing at it was already close to midnight, so by the time Seph and Josh arrived, we decided to just settle for the other place that used to be Mocha Blends, and just drink, hang out, talk and chill. Ended up hearing more quips to go around, like how to wake up, especially while driving, hahaha. I just love my high school friends.
We had dinner at Dencio's in Harbour Square, just the 3 of us. Her friend Mickey was also supposed to come, but he had to cancel at the last minute, so it was just the trio that night. Haha, almost immediately, we came up with a bunch of crazy quotable quips way before our food arrived.
To quote what Iam had posted on her Facebook status that evening...
Rosa: (nakakita ng lalaking may DSLR) Bakit maikli 'yung sa kanya?
Hogi: (nanlaki ang mata)
Iam: Nasanay ka na kasi sa European.
AHAHAHAHAHA.
Stuffed ourselves at Dencio's, then we decided to get coffee at Starbucks before our "main event." But unfortunately, Starbucks was packed. I have to say, I miss the old layout of that Starbucks branch, because there were more places to sit and chill. It doesnt' feel as homey as before anymore. Anyway, we got our coffee, then we headed to Star City. Hahaha, yes, that was the highlight of Rosa's birthday.
Well, none of us were really fans of the rides (especially acrophobic little me), so we headed for the shops and browsed around. Iam was looking for a tommy gun for their company Christmas party, as well as a pair of good quality couple shirts that she and Ge will wear on their Korea trip. We all ended up getting these crazy hats in one store.
Hehe, Iam got this anime hat with ears and a vein, Rosa got the Piranha plant hat from the Super Mario Brothers games, while I got a Goomba hat, also from Super Mario. We ended up wearing them the entire evening that we were in Star City. Thank goodness we were wearing them, because when one of us would stray away (usually Rosa, ahahaha), looking for the hats were easy, as they were so different from all the common hats that were bought by the rest of the crowd.
We checked out the games and even tried a couple of them, and Rosa managed to win one small toy out of sheer luck, hehe. When we checked out the rides outside, Rosa and Iam before both laughing at me because whenever I watch one of the crazy ones zip by, I had this open-mouthed "in awe" look, hahaha!
Anyway, we kept walking around the entire place, checking out the other games, watching and laughing at the people who were in the rides and even the ones in line (meron ba naman kasing isang malaking group of girls in line just putting on makeup before their turn at the Pirate Adventure ride).Anyway, when we got a text from Josh (who was with Seph at Ben and Jeng's wedding also that very night) that they were leaving the reception, we headed back to Harbour Square to meet with them. Unfortunately, Dencio's was already closing at it was already close to midnight, so by the time Seph and Josh arrived, we decided to just settle for the other place that used to be Mocha Blends, and just drink, hang out, talk and chill. Ended up hearing more quips to go around, like how to wake up, especially while driving, hahaha. I just love my high school friends.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Birthday blues.
Wrote this earlier this evening on my phone.
This must be the lousiest birthday I've had ever. First, I had to deal with an empty promise. My naive self kept things open in cast something might come through. But nope, I should've learned by now to not hold on to things like that. So I'm still left up in the air.
I've also disappointed myself in another aspect. I knew I was confident enough to handle foolproof things such as those, so I should know better than to get rattled. Hearing such feedback (at least twice in the span of an hour) made me want to crawl under a rock and stay there forever.
Then if things weren't bad enough, I had a close call with a holdup situation aboard the bus home that I was on.
By the time I was home and had lunch with my parents, I just lay on my bed and cried. I realized that this is truly my loneliest birthday to date. I had zero plans in the evening because I led myself on into thinking that I actually had something to do, something to look forward to, but when that fell through, I suddenly felt miserable. Nothing was going right on my most special day of the year. And to rub it even more in my face, the person that I just had to share my thoughts with about this day failed to empathize, and didn't even try, as if that person didn't care (and you still owe me big time). Oh, 2010, you've already been a bummer from the very start, so I guess you just had to be consistent with it, huh?
After I had a good cry, I gave my spirits a tiny boost by peering at the birthday greetings I found on my Facebook wall (after a frustrating wait because of the lousy connection). At least I know there are still friends out there who still care and love me. So that's when I decided to quit lying there waiting for something to happen.
So I treated myself to a simple solo night out. Dinner at the place I was craving for (a tad pricey, but for a heavy meal, it was worth it), then caught Voyage of the Dawn Treader in 3D.
And now, armed with a chai tea latte, I'm writing this blog entry's draft while sitting by my lonesome in one of the many Starbucks branches along Ayala, trying (or maybe just pretending, even) to contemplate and think about how things came to this--spending my birthday evening alone.
What the heck. This is just a bad day like all the other bad days I've had this year. Maybe it just had more impact because it just happened to fall on the day of my birthday. So maybe I'll just celebrate my birthday on another day. I'll still push through with the Intramuros tour next week, and I must find a way to go out of town (most likely just by myself) for a few days after the new year comes in. I'm still trying to decide between 3 places.
========================================
This must be the lousiest birthday I've had ever. First, I had to deal with an empty promise. My naive self kept things open in cast something might come through. But nope, I should've learned by now to not hold on to things like that. So I'm still left up in the air.
I've also disappointed myself in another aspect. I knew I was confident enough to handle foolproof things such as those, so I should know better than to get rattled. Hearing such feedback (at least twice in the span of an hour) made me want to crawl under a rock and stay there forever.
Then if things weren't bad enough, I had a close call with a holdup situation aboard the bus home that I was on.
By the time I was home and had lunch with my parents, I just lay on my bed and cried. I realized that this is truly my loneliest birthday to date. I had zero plans in the evening because I led myself on into thinking that I actually had something to do, something to look forward to, but when that fell through, I suddenly felt miserable. Nothing was going right on my most special day of the year. And to rub it even more in my face, the person that I just had to share my thoughts with about this day failed to empathize, and didn't even try, as if that person didn't care (and you still owe me big time). Oh, 2010, you've already been a bummer from the very start, so I guess you just had to be consistent with it, huh?
After I had a good cry, I gave my spirits a tiny boost by peering at the birthday greetings I found on my Facebook wall (after a frustrating wait because of the lousy connection). At least I know there are still friends out there who still care and love me. So that's when I decided to quit lying there waiting for something to happen.
So I treated myself to a simple solo night out. Dinner at the place I was craving for (a tad pricey, but for a heavy meal, it was worth it), then caught Voyage of the Dawn Treader in 3D.
And now, armed with a chai tea latte, I'm writing this blog entry's draft while sitting by my lonesome in one of the many Starbucks branches along Ayala, trying (or maybe just pretending, even) to contemplate and think about how things came to this--spending my birthday evening alone.
What the heck. This is just a bad day like all the other bad days I've had this year. Maybe it just had more impact because it just happened to fall on the day of my birthday. So maybe I'll just celebrate my birthday on another day. I'll still push through with the Intramuros tour next week, and I must find a way to go out of town (most likely just by myself) for a few days after the new year comes in. I'm still trying to decide between 3 places.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
ATC with Zee, after ages of not seeing each other.
I haven't seen Zshali for over 2 years, and I think the last time we saw each other in person was way back in 2008, when she came to CCP to watch Virgin Labfest. I think that was either for Kalungkutan ng Reyna or for Las Mentiras de Gloria, but for whichever play, I do recall we saw each other during that time, hahaha. And before that, we were in Bulacan to shoot an episode of Chef To Go.
So anyway, after that, Zee and I never got to hang out again, even with the rest of our crowd, most likely because our schedules never matched, and we sort of lost touch for a time. Then I found out that she's working in Makati these past few months, but we still couldn't match our schedules, ahahaha.
Suddenly I got a random text from Zee yesterday. Finally, we agreed to meet up at ATC yesterday evening. Had dinner at Food Choices (syempre Korean ang pinili niya, be it on purpose or by accident, hahaha), then went to the makeshift Body Shop stall outside CPK so she can buy a Christmas exchange gift for a friend. Syempre pinag-isipan ang gift kasi crush pala niya ang nakuha niya na bibigyan, nyahahaha.
Then off we went to Starbucks to just sit, drink, talk and basically hang out. Updates and chikahan here and there over our frappuccinos. We were hoping that Dyown could catch up with us, but she was still in Makati that entire evening, so it was just the two of us. It was hilarious even with just Zee and me (but yes, we still miss having everyone else), talking about the upcoming restaging of our "favorite musical," among other things, plus job opportunities, Hi-Ro sa chocolate cream chip frappe, mga lalaki/bading na may girlfriends, GM text messages (hmm, that sounded redundant), and especially certain questions about "go," AHAHAHAHA! Zee, tama na ang truth or dare. Mas masaya ang KFM, ahehehe.
We then called it a night when Zee realized that she might not be able to catch a jeep back home. Man, it was great to see her again. Hopefully next time, the BFFs would be complete. And yes, hopefully Carlo would be there too, haha. Hope to see everyone in February!
So anyway, after that, Zee and I never got to hang out again, even with the rest of our crowd, most likely because our schedules never matched, and we sort of lost touch for a time. Then I found out that she's working in Makati these past few months, but we still couldn't match our schedules, ahahaha.
Suddenly I got a random text from Zee yesterday. Finally, we agreed to meet up at ATC yesterday evening. Had dinner at Food Choices (syempre Korean ang pinili niya, be it on purpose or by accident, hahaha), then went to the makeshift Body Shop stall outside CPK so she can buy a Christmas exchange gift for a friend. Syempre pinag-isipan ang gift kasi crush pala niya ang nakuha niya na bibigyan, nyahahaha.
Then off we went to Starbucks to just sit, drink, talk and basically hang out. Updates and chikahan here and there over our frappuccinos. We were hoping that Dyown could catch up with us, but she was still in Makati that entire evening, so it was just the two of us. It was hilarious even with just Zee and me (but yes, we still miss having everyone else), talking about the upcoming restaging of our "favorite musical," among other things, plus job opportunities, Hi-Ro sa chocolate cream chip frappe, mga lalaki/bading na may girlfriends, GM text messages (hmm, that sounded redundant), and especially certain questions about "go," AHAHAHAHA! Zee, tama na ang truth or dare. Mas masaya ang KFM, ahehehe.
We then called it a night when Zee realized that she might not be able to catch a jeep back home. Man, it was great to see her again. Hopefully next time, the BFFs would be complete. And yes, hopefully Carlo would be there too, haha. Hope to see everyone in February!
Monday, December 13, 2010
3 days shy of turning another year older.
I can't believe that it's almost my birthday. Holy kamote. Time really flew this year. And usually at this time of the year, I write an annual year-ender entry. But of course, I'll save that for near the end of the month.
I still don't have any concrete plans on my birthday save for the usual work in the morning and a birthday lunch at home with my parents. I do have some plans in mind, but nothing's written in stone yet. And for the days to follow will most likely be kind of busy.
For now, for those who still don't have any idea what to get me on my birthday, here's a short wishlist to help you, hahaha.
- a new digital camera (a DSLR wouldn't hurt, hehe)
- a new messenger bag or backpack
- one of those cute bags from Banane Taipei that show a photo of a Birkin bag (Bagaholic sells them)
- those nice jersey wrap dresses from K&Company that Daphne Osena loves wearing
- new pair of Chuck Taylors
- Dr. Martens boots
- a new Starbucks tumbler (I should've gotten it for myself that last time, ahahaha)
- old school board games
- a netbook (so I don't have to drag my huge laptop around)
- a new sewing machine (so I can do all those T-shirt surgeries that I'm dying to try)
- Lasik treatment for my eyes
- to attend Carlos Celdran's Walk This Way Intramuros tour (though I really do plan to do this)
- a nice, out-of-town vacation (should I go for a Baguio trip or the beach? I've never gone to the beach)
- projects in the upcoming year and the years to come
- to finally be regularized at work
- much love from my friends
- simple joys such as love itself (ahehehe, walang basagan ng trip!)
In less than a month, I'll finally find out whether I'd be regularized at work, or if my probationary period would be extended. Holy kamote. But according to an update with my team leader, the only thing I have to worry about is my monitoring scores. Well, not really worry, but I just have to level up more to reach the required passing grade. Let's hope I can do this.
I went to watch Medea in UP last Saturday with Erik and Yuan. It was Mara's thesis on directing, and she got her mom to play the title role. So of course I just had to watch. Per usual, I was in awe with Irma's performance. She was amazing onstage, that even the subtle movement and stillness had a certain beat. Huwaw. Congratulations again, Mara! And also to the cast and crew of Medea!
What's funny was that I think I finally converted someone to my dark side, nyahaha. Ang masasabi ko lang, "That's acting, not the one you're used to dabbling in."
Anyway, that's it for now. I wonder what's in store for the following few days to come.
I still don't have any concrete plans on my birthday save for the usual work in the morning and a birthday lunch at home with my parents. I do have some plans in mind, but nothing's written in stone yet. And for the days to follow will most likely be kind of busy.
For now, for those who still don't have any idea what to get me on my birthday, here's a short wishlist to help you, hahaha.
- a new digital camera (a DSLR wouldn't hurt, hehe)
- a new messenger bag or backpack
- one of those cute bags from Banane Taipei that show a photo of a Birkin bag (Bagaholic sells them)
- those nice jersey wrap dresses from K&Company that Daphne Osena loves wearing
- new pair of Chuck Taylors
- Dr. Martens boots
- a new Starbucks tumbler (I should've gotten it for myself that last time, ahahaha)
- old school board games
- a netbook (so I don't have to drag my huge laptop around)
- a new sewing machine (so I can do all those T-shirt surgeries that I'm dying to try)
- Lasik treatment for my eyes
- to attend Carlos Celdran's Walk This Way Intramuros tour (though I really do plan to do this)
- a nice, out-of-town vacation (should I go for a Baguio trip or the beach? I've never gone to the beach)
- projects in the upcoming year and the years to come
- to finally be regularized at work
- much love from my friends
- simple joys such as love itself (ahehehe, walang basagan ng trip!)
In less than a month, I'll finally find out whether I'd be regularized at work, or if my probationary period would be extended. Holy kamote. But according to an update with my team leader, the only thing I have to worry about is my monitoring scores. Well, not really worry, but I just have to level up more to reach the required passing grade. Let's hope I can do this.
I went to watch Medea in UP last Saturday with Erik and Yuan. It was Mara's thesis on directing, and she got her mom to play the title role. So of course I just had to watch. Per usual, I was in awe with Irma's performance. She was amazing onstage, that even the subtle movement and stillness had a certain beat. Huwaw. Congratulations again, Mara! And also to the cast and crew of Medea!
What's funny was that I think I finally converted someone to my dark side, nyahaha. Ang masasabi ko lang, "That's acting, not the one you're used to dabbling in."
Anyway, that's it for now. I wonder what's in store for the following few days to come.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Just another random update.
For some reason, I still can't believe how fast this year flew by. I sometimes catch myself checking the date every once in a while, and doing double takes because it's already December. Seriously, it's almost Christmas? And I'm turning another year older? Ahahaha.
Time really flies. And to think that it's already my 6th month at my part-time job, while looking for other projects in between. (And by the way, if anyone out there knows any other projects during the rest of this month, please don't hesitate to let me know, hehehe.) I want to be more optimistic for next year, but of course, there's still that little ounce of me telling me to be more realistic. But still, I want to spend more time next year doing things for myself instead of for others. I have to learn to be selfish every once in a while. I spent way too much time, especially these past few years, being too nice.
Anyway.
In other news... (Why do I keep saying that in my blog entries these days?)
I got to check out the TDR of the TP Actors Company's recital of Anatomiya ng Korupsyon last week. Their recital was supposed to be just for 2 shows, until they got to sell a whole lot of shows to CEU, which means that most of their 18 shows would be exclusively for the school. Anyway, there were only a handful of us who came to watch, so it was really freezing in the Batute. Anyway, I have to say that it was a pretty good choice for a show. It actually amused me to find some real people in the characters that they showed. Some of the minor characters were kind of a little overdone, but on the whole, it was a really good ensemble play for their rehearsal and performance techniques class under Roobak. Of course, someone had to endure a whole of teasing from their director, which I think was a little too over the top already.
After the show, most of us checked out the night market along the side street between the CCP and PDC buildings. Eventually I found Rayna and Kat shopping for clothes that were originally costumes, hahaha. Anyway, after a while, Rayna, Gino, Kat and I hopped on a cab to Makati, as Kat had a dinner date with her family, and Rayna had to go to the optical shop.
After dropping Kat off along Ayala, the rest of us walked to Glorietta. We found out at the optical shop that it was more expensive to have Rayna's glasses made, so we left and had dinner at Food Choices. Walked a little more, and Gino and Rayna made me buy ice cream for them before we had to walk back to Ayala to catch rides home.
On Saturday, I went with Rosa to buy her new DSLR camera after my shift. We met up for lunch at Army Navy in Glorietta 5, then we grabbed a cab to Quiapo, as that was where she was to purchase the camera she had ordered online/over the phone. By the time we got to Quiapo church, it took us a while to find the place, but when we got there, it was pretty much smooth sailing. Of course, because Rosa couldn't wait to get out of there once she got her camera, she forgot to purchase a UV filter. We had to look all over the Ayala malls when we got to Makati, and came out empty-handed. Oh well, at least she managed to find a pretty case for her camera aside from the one she was looking for. Huwaw, before that, it was like a whirlwind tour of all the malls for her, ahahaha.
On Sunday, I met up with Lara, Nina and Kenneth at ATC, as they had a storytelling gig at the Nutcracker show at the activity center. Found them at Jamaican Patties after their first show, then we moved to Food Choices where we can just sit and hang out. Pig-out day for me, because I really couldn't resist just sitting there at the food court and not eat anything. Ahahaha. Even after their 2nd show, Lara and her siblings eventually adopted me and invited me to have dinner with them at Shakey's. Yes, more food. And even dessert at DQ.
Now I wonder what's up next for this week? And what about next week? Ack.
Time really flies. And to think that it's already my 6th month at my part-time job, while looking for other projects in between. (And by the way, if anyone out there knows any other projects during the rest of this month, please don't hesitate to let me know, hehehe.) I want to be more optimistic for next year, but of course, there's still that little ounce of me telling me to be more realistic. But still, I want to spend more time next year doing things for myself instead of for others. I have to learn to be selfish every once in a while. I spent way too much time, especially these past few years, being too nice.
Anyway.
In other news... (Why do I keep saying that in my blog entries these days?)
I got to check out the TDR of the TP Actors Company's recital of Anatomiya ng Korupsyon last week. Their recital was supposed to be just for 2 shows, until they got to sell a whole lot of shows to CEU, which means that most of their 18 shows would be exclusively for the school. Anyway, there were only a handful of us who came to watch, so it was really freezing in the Batute. Anyway, I have to say that it was a pretty good choice for a show. It actually amused me to find some real people in the characters that they showed. Some of the minor characters were kind of a little overdone, but on the whole, it was a really good ensemble play for their rehearsal and performance techniques class under Roobak. Of course, someone had to endure a whole of teasing from their director, which I think was a little too over the top already.
After the show, most of us checked out the night market along the side street between the CCP and PDC buildings. Eventually I found Rayna and Kat shopping for clothes that were originally costumes, hahaha. Anyway, after a while, Rayna, Gino, Kat and I hopped on a cab to Makati, as Kat had a dinner date with her family, and Rayna had to go to the optical shop.
After dropping Kat off along Ayala, the rest of us walked to Glorietta. We found out at the optical shop that it was more expensive to have Rayna's glasses made, so we left and had dinner at Food Choices. Walked a little more, and Gino and Rayna made me buy ice cream for them before we had to walk back to Ayala to catch rides home.
On Saturday, I went with Rosa to buy her new DSLR camera after my shift. We met up for lunch at Army Navy in Glorietta 5, then we grabbed a cab to Quiapo, as that was where she was to purchase the camera she had ordered online/over the phone. By the time we got to Quiapo church, it took us a while to find the place, but when we got there, it was pretty much smooth sailing. Of course, because Rosa couldn't wait to get out of there once she got her camera, she forgot to purchase a UV filter. We had to look all over the Ayala malls when we got to Makati, and came out empty-handed. Oh well, at least she managed to find a pretty case for her camera aside from the one she was looking for. Huwaw, before that, it was like a whirlwind tour of all the malls for her, ahahaha.
On Sunday, I met up with Lara, Nina and Kenneth at ATC, as they had a storytelling gig at the Nutcracker show at the activity center. Found them at Jamaican Patties after their first show, then we moved to Food Choices where we can just sit and hang out. Pig-out day for me, because I really couldn't resist just sitting there at the food court and not eat anything. Ahahaha. Even after their 2nd show, Lara and her siblings eventually adopted me and invited me to have dinner with them at Shakey's. Yes, more food. And even dessert at DQ.
Now I wonder what's up next for this week? And what about next week? Ack.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Musings during the mid-week.
I really don't get some people, especially some of the male species when they say or ask certain things. I may have had my fair share of relationships, but I have to say that I still feel like a noob or a novice.
I've asked this already, but I guess the answer's already obvious. But just so I can let it out, I'll just put it down here. What does a guy mean when he asks if you're dating someone? And what if that guy who's asking (and sometimes constantly asks when you see each other) is an ex? Is it because so he'll be guilt-free to date you? Is it because so he'll be guilt-free to date other girls? And if he asks it repeatedly, even up to the point of asking who you're dating, what does that mean? Argh, guys can be so complicated. Ahaha, as if I'm not complicated enough already.
Even though I can't believe I've resorted to this, I actually got a good answer in Formspring (don't ask who I asked, but for those who know me there, I guess it's pretty obvious).
It could mean any number of things: 1) that he is secretly hoping to get back together; 2) that he wants to be friends, and is genuinely interested in your welfare; 3) that he might be feeling guilty about maybe having someone else when you don't; 4) that he wants attention because no one is giving him any; etc. etc. The point is, there's no way to know for sure, so it's pointless to try and figure it out. And if he IS interested, don't give in too easily! Remember: there's a reason you broke up in the first place.
Good answer.
But for now, I'm actually pretty content that I can stand on my own, after ending a 2-year relationship at the beginning of this year. I guess that's why I can't seem to believe that the months really flew by.
Anyway.
In other news... (pfft.)
It's like a crush. When I'm near you, I get tongue-tied. I have nothing coherent to say. But I still want to get close to you. And I have to admit, this other guy's sort of cute. Again, emphasis on the sort of. But we really have nothing to say to each other. I don't even think we have anything in common. Oh well.
I've asked this already, but I guess the answer's already obvious. But just so I can let it out, I'll just put it down here. What does a guy mean when he asks if you're dating someone? And what if that guy who's asking (and sometimes constantly asks when you see each other) is an ex? Is it because so he'll be guilt-free to date you? Is it because so he'll be guilt-free to date other girls? And if he asks it repeatedly, even up to the point of asking who you're dating, what does that mean? Argh, guys can be so complicated. Ahaha, as if I'm not complicated enough already.
Even though I can't believe I've resorted to this, I actually got a good answer in Formspring (don't ask who I asked, but for those who know me there, I guess it's pretty obvious).
It could mean any number of things: 1) that he is secretly hoping to get back together; 2) that he wants to be friends, and is genuinely interested in your welfare; 3) that he might be feeling guilty about maybe having someone else when you don't; 4) that he wants attention because no one is giving him any; etc. etc. The point is, there's no way to know for sure, so it's pointless to try and figure it out. And if he IS interested, don't give in too easily! Remember: there's a reason you broke up in the first place.
Good answer.
But for now, I'm actually pretty content that I can stand on my own, after ending a 2-year relationship at the beginning of this year. I guess that's why I can't seem to believe that the months really flew by.
Anyway.
In other news... (pfft.)
It's like a crush. When I'm near you, I get tongue-tied. I have nothing coherent to say. But I still want to get close to you. And I have to admit, this other guy's sort of cute. Again, emphasis on the sort of. But we really have nothing to say to each other. I don't even think we have anything in common. Oh well.
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