Stop hurrying and enjoy the view.

I have this weird affinity for sunsets. I love the bursts of color it makes in the sky. The fiery reds and oranges, sometimes golds and pinks and the occasional lavender. I remember telling a young colleague a few days ago that I used to chase sunsets during afternoon bike rides in our village, and much prefer them to sunrises.

This past Sunday morning, while I was on a shuttle ride to PICC, I was in such a rush. Due to downpour of rain in our area, I thought I may not make it in time for our service's call time. "Great," I told myself. "It's been a while since I last served in the music ministry, and I'll be late." While this thought kept running in my head, something made me stop as the shuttle coasted into the highway.

Amidst the dark clouds, there in the distance was the golden yellow glow or the sunrise. I just stopped thinking about all my negative thoughts about being late, and just stared in awe because it looked so beautiful. I didn't even bother to bring out my phone to snap a photo of it, and just enjoyed the view. Magical would be the best way to describe it. It looked like in the distance, at the end of Coastal Road, I was heading off to a happy beautiful and magical place that resembled Narnia. Well, I guess I was right about heading to happy place because I was going to PICC for The Feast.

That simple view of the sky at sunrise was a mere simple joy that seemed like a gentle reminder. It reminded me that every once in a while, despite all the hurrying and rush in our lives, we should also stop and appreciate God's beautiful creations. Especially those we take for granted.

And then, surprise, surprise. I make it to the PICC Plenary Hall at exactly 6:44 AM, one minute before call time. The entire ride only took me exactly 22 minutes... And I was the first one to arrive.

Simple joys like this always lift me up no matter what mood I'm in.

Don't rush. Stop every once in a while, enjoy the moment, wait a little, and things you don't even expect will come to you.

Midlife Christ-sis.

If I called 2015 a year of passion, 2016 is about entering my courage zone.

Yes, I'm blogging again, haha. Now let's move forward, shall we?

I will be turning 35 (yes, believe it or not) at the end of this year, so I guess I can say I'm having this midlife crisis ever since my 30s began. Knowing myself, I should be panicking right now, thinking that I'm in my mid-30s and haven't accomplished much in my life. But after all the things I went through since last year, I realized that I don't need to worry about that.

So I may not have direction before. Maybe I still don't have much direction, but now I know I had paved a brand new way. As I keep hearing from so many different people, "The journey is more important than the destination."

There were so many things I wanted to happen before, and what I learned from that is I had put in so much time and effort on things I shouldn't even be focusing on.

I wanted to make money quickly. I got burned out.
I was sick of being single and rushed into psuedo-relationships with guys that weren't right for me. I got my heart burned.

All that changed this year. When I learned to focus on God first, my goodness, so many things were revealed to me. I hadn't noticed these things before, but they were there all along. I was just too distracted with all the things I wanted, that I never noticed the things He knew I needed.

Things started changing drastically after attending Project Courage Zone and the LoveLife retreat early this year.

As I focused on God more, I learned that I'm not alone in this journey. I have friends who are there every step of the way. God directed me to the right people I needed to be with, and drove me away from the toxic ones I kept coming back to. These people made me realize that it's all right to be myself, that I can simply be comfortable in my own skin, especially with them. And with them also came so many amazing lessons.

I learned how to take certain risks, not just for my self-improvement, but to take risks I was once too afraid or too shy or too inhibited to do for His glory.

I was afraid to start over, and I re-learned so much from things that I've already heard before.
I was afraid to sing in public, and I joined the music ministry.
I was afraid of facing an audition, and I performed.
I was always intrigued with gossip, and I shut my mouth and filtered what I say and hear.
I hated being pressured and ridiculed about my single life at this age, and I went with people who embraced who I am regardless of my relationship status.
I was always concerned about pleasing everyone, and I stopped wasting time and effort once I had done my best and not let it affect me.

One of my take-aways from Project Courage Zone was this:
"Do not underestimate yourself by comparing yourself with others. It is our differences that make us unique and beautiful."

I can't believe how simple decisions such as saying yes and going into your courage zone can make a huge difference.

Today, I feel much more comfortable as an individual. I'm an active member of my LoveLife batch. I take pride in serving in The Feast Bay Area's music ministry, but I don't sing to get applause. I sing because I want Him to be applauded.

As I still wander about in this crazy life of mine, I may not have gone as far as I had expected, but that's okay. What matters is that my story has changed, so I can live courageously.

It may not look like it, but I can proudly say that I'm in my mid-30s.

Midlife crisis?

I prefer to call it midlife CHRIST-sis.

As I focus on Him more, that's when the breakthroughs come.

"I shovel out, and God shovels in, but He has a bigger shovel than I do."