Carms and Jay's wedding.

I've been to weddings, and they're all beautiful and happy events. But this last one I went to wasn't a wedding reception, it was a whole darn big production, hahahaha!

Carmella and Jay finally tied the knot yesterday, and I'm so happy for this beautiful couple that are two awesome friends too precious for words.

I had mentioned last year that Carms had contacted me to work at her wedding reception as a stage manager. Even though I thought it was unusual to have a stage manager at a wedding, I willingly agreed. When I found out about what they had planned, the excitement grew to an intimidating amount of pressure, hahaha. Anyway, they wanted just the best for their reception, because hey, you only get this once in a lifetime, right?

I got Opa as my right-hand man, and we immediately saved the date. Carms had offered that we sleep over at the hotel in Rizal on Sunday with her, because we might have to be at the setup and run a paper tech the day before. So Opa and I met up early afternoon on Sunday at Philcoa, but hung around there for a while because I suddenly got a phone call from Carms telling me that she'll be in church for a while, but we can go ahead to her house if we want to. We stayed in Philcoa for a little bit, then off we went to the ever popular Sarah's.

The first people we saw in Sarah's were Carms' mom and grandma, and we got to hang around outside, just waiting, and eventually getting something to eat. Opa first tried one of their burgers while I settled on simple fishballs, hahaha. Eventually we got served with nachos once Carms, Kath and Iza arrived. I love their salsa! I must get the recipe from Kath. Anyway, more waiting while everyone had to fix and pack their stuff for the big day, and Carms let Opa browse through the HeARTwork magazine (where I also wrote an article, ahehehe). Every once in a while, Carms would come over and grab a bit of our food and talk. It's still amuses me how you always learn more and more about your friends every day. I loved her stories about her past experiences in different aspects. And man, Carms, I remember hearing that Julliard offer from our friend before, and I really envied you when I first heard about it some years ago. Sayang that you passed the offer! And thanks for that book recommendation. I think I'll check that out.

Finally, early evening, Opa and I hopped in Carms' car with her and Jane. Off to Binangonan we go. Sound-tripping in the car ensued, and we even listened to Carms try to keep her voice while rehearsing a medley of songs that the Minstrels were singing. Anyway, we first checked out the INC church in Angono where the wedding will be held, but we had to leave immediately because both Carms and Opa were both clad in shorts. At least we managed to sneak a peek inside the church. We then headed up to East Ridge Golf and Country Club to check out the reception venue. We got to see the entire space without the setup yet (setup and paper tech was moved to Monday morning), and waited a bit for Jay before we all headed to Thunderbird to check in.

I love our room. I practically drowned in the bed's soft sheets and pillows, hahaha. Anyway, we settled in for a bit, then all 5 of us headed to Koi, the in-house restaurant by the casino, for dinner. More kulitan galore with this crazy couple. I have to say, there are no boring moments with these people. From the moment we started ordering, there were crazy comments that even our friendly waitress couldn't help but join in the fun.

We retreated back to our room (even though Carms really really really wanted to play at least one game at the casino). Carms and Jay still had to fix the seating plan at the reception, so the rest of us chilled. I was still swimming in the softness of the bed, hahaha. And I have to thank Carms and Jane for that yummy hot tea before I had to sleep. For the life of me, I never really get to sleep right away once I'm in bed. That tea worked wonders because I was fast asleep and even slept through my alarm.

I had set my alarm because Dan had mentioned that he'll be at East Ridge at 8 in the morning for the setup, then we'll do a paper tech afterwards. But I slept in and woke up at 8, hahaha. Thank goodness he was running late, so Opa and I had time for showers and grab food at the breakfast buffet. Dan, Bodj, and Jefff arrived with Jay at Koi when we were finishing our food, so after we all had our fill, we headed to East Ridge.

We spent a good deal of sitting and waiting around, and Opa and I weren't really used to the petiks feeling. Haha, being used to the go-go-go atmosphere in TP (especially during Labfest season), we feel as if there must be something we should do. But we ended up just sitting, talking, sometimes even catching a few winks on the couches. After lunch, we ended up talking about some certain concerns regarding the AVPs and possible slight changes, plus backstage assignments, then we ran a paper tech. After that, Dan let us borrow their driver so we can rush back to the hotel to dress up for the wedding. We weren't really counting on attending the entire ceremony, but it would be nice to be there even just for the ending until the bouquet toss before we can hightail it back to East Ridge for the reception.

There were lots of people in the hotel room when we got there, of course, because Carms was still there for the photos and videos, and I even found Yas and Ila in the bathroom getting dressed and ready themselves. Opa and I crammed ourselves with them there to keep out of the way, and started getting ready as well. Eventually everyone had to leave, and the four of us ended up being the last people inside the hotel room, taking our time with our makeup, because we weren't really expected at the entire wedding ceremony, but at the reception. So of course, we took advantage of the time for some photo ops, hahaha.

Off to the church, and we made it in time for the vows. Eventually Opa and I were called to help distribute the butterflies for the end of the ceremony, so we stepped outside once the actual ceremony was over. And of course, we couldn't resist but join in for the bouquet toss because of the awesome prize it had, hahahaha. After the bouquet, we sped back to East Ridge and got ready for the program.

My task was to keep track of all the presentors and performers, and sometimes the hosts (Yas, Ila and the oh so original Alex), so I was all over the place looking for everyone the whole time. Super thanks to Kath and Iza for helping me find the people. Crazy, I was walking everywhere, in a dress and heels, hahaha!

I love love love the program. It was so funny because instead of having the bride as the star, it mostly had highlights on Jay, from the very first AVP, hahaha! That's what you get for marrying into such an artistic family, lumalabas ang sariling acting and singing prowess! There were such sweet moments with Carms and Jay, and of course, Carms and her family, that I couldn't help but watch with tears in my eyes.

I finally got to settle in one of the seats during the couple's speech. I grabbed a chair at the table where the hosts were sitting, and gave a sigh of relief. After their speech, the couple invited everyone to join them in singing "Seasons of Love," and Kath invited me to join them onstage with them. Syempre I couldn't resist, and followed her onstage, along with Carms, Jay, Yas, Ila, Alex, and the Minstrels.

Congratulations and best wishes to Carmella and Jay Navarro! I love you both!

This is one of the best weddings I've ever attended, and it helped me in more ways than one. It gave me an opportunity to spend precious time and moments with good friends, gaining new friends in the process, as well as continually letting your other friendships to grow even stronger. It made me learn a little bit more about some of my friends. It also gave me an opportunity to work again in events, plus meet new people in the business, which can open up more avenues for the kind of work that I enjoy doing. It helped me remain optimistic no matter whatever happened. And it still made me believe in love, which I may find again, eventually.

Just thinking.

"Friendship isn't a big thing, really, but a collection of a million little things."

Eric Roa had written that in the HeARTwork magazine that Carms and Jay gave away as a wedding souvenir. When I first read that line, I remember that I was nodding to myself, even though I was supposedly just skimming through the magazine. It was so true, as it applies to every relationship.

This past week had been one of the biggest emotional roller coasters that I had ever been on. There were times of optimism and hope, times of rage (as it was my first time to shout at someone like that), times of depression, and of course, there were also really great times when I laughed like there was no tomorrow and as if nothing bad had happened.

There were things that I did that I may regret, but even with that, I guess I have to say that I'm glad it happened before it got any more painful for me to take. I may not be ready to forgive certain actions, but even though people have been shaking their heads at me, I'm still trying to keep things intact, but in a different way. It's just that sometimes I'm still afraid to be left alone with my own thoughts.

I'm truly grateful for having friends who were always there. There were Rosa and Iam, who hit me on the head with their text messages because there were things I needed to hear, and I really appreciate and love them even more for that. Betty and Opa, who were always there to listen and give the most crazy quips after every serious note, have been on and off with me online, over the phone, and in person. Even Mimay was there even though she was halfway around the world and we hardly get to chat as much anymore. And I was super thankful for Carms and Jay as well. They knew what I needed, and it was such an honor to spend a special day with them.

For now, I'll just say that it's better to forget what had happened, than to dwell on it and push any more buttons. I'm glad and thankful for the friendship, especially with you.

Untitled.

Yep, I was right. Not everything was said until this morning. That was the only thing I needed, but not this way. It would've been all right if it was said last week, before any bull had been said. I would have felt better right now about the whole thing if that day hadn't happened. But it did. I knew this would happen eventually, but not this soon, and not this way. Parang lumabas na there was already someone else while we were still sorting things out. True, I was told that I was at fault also, but it's total crap to claim that you didn't do anything wrong. Yes you did. Not saying anything, not being totally honest is what made you into that jerk. It was my first time ever in my life to talk that way on the phone, but you knew na hindi pa rin kita kayang murahin,

But thank you. You taught me how not to be afraid to love again, and gave me a spine. It's a shame to throw yesterday away. So break a leg, congratulations on the nomination, and hope to see you around.

Ups and downs galore, but grateful for those that lifted me up.

Things have been pretty crappy since this past weekend. I hate it when you were shown an open window to crawl through, but then after all that hoping, someone slams the window shut right in your face. Ang pinakaayaw ko talaga ay yung pinapaasa ako. I'd prefer it if people would tell me right away, and in person please. Some people always prefer the coward's way out, so that makes them even more of a jerk.

I really needed a good day after all that, so when I got a text from Carms about a wedding prep meeting on Monday (yesterday), I looked forward to that. We were to meet in Greenbelt with the rest of the people involved, and because I rushed to hitch a ride with my aunts and cousin (who were on their way to Mandaluyong), I arrived pretty early in Makati, and eventually forgetting to bring the gift I had for Carms.

I was walking around aimlessly around Greenbelt 3, when I almost immediately ran into Carms and Jay, who were there early as well. Finally got my invitation, plus Jenga, hahaha (super sorry that I forgot yours, Carms!). We ended up going around the mall, window-shopping, until we settled at Figaro for a while. I was still recovering from a cold (which sort of worsened last Sunday because of a damn talk and text episode) and an itchy throat, so I ordered some hot tea with my sandwich (yes, Carms knew I was hungry). That was when I got to see the dummy of this awesome souvenir which will be revealed at the wedding. I was just skimming through the whole thing, but there were too much funny stuff that I couldn't help but to laugh out loud.

Carms and I walked around some more and left Jay sitting at Figaro. Yay, a few minutes of just the two of us. Eventually we had to return to a store for a tie for Jay plus someone else in the entourage, then we walked to Coffee Bean because that's where we had decided the meeting will be.

The meeting with Carms and Jay included Dan and Bodj (who I'll be working with at the reception), plus the 3 hosts--Yas, Ila and the notorious Alex, hahaha. Every time someone arrived, the souvenir was always there. Talked about every point in the technical script, discussed a few minor details, and everything was always punctuated by Alex's crazy quips, so it took us a quite a while to recover from infectious laughter. But at least we were all having fun, and the whole thing really got me even more excited for the wedding. It's less than a week away!

I was so grateful for everyone's company that night, especially Carms and Jay. Friends like these are such blessings. I felt like crap the day before, and I really needed a good laugh. Heck, being with Carms is like stepping into a waterfall on a really hot day, and Jay laughs like there's no tomorrow that you can't help but laugh along with him.

Yep, even though life feels such like an emotional roller coaster, there's always the awesome parts to look forward to.

And if things couldn't get any better, the package that Ate Lizzy sent me arrived this afternoon! I was so surprised to see the box that I stared at it for quite a while before signing for it and finally holding it, hahahaha! Thank you so much, Ate Lizzy and Kuya Serg!

Of course, there's still that downward plunge that you really can't avoid. This evening, while I was watching TV in the guest bedroom, I heard the phone ring. My aunt answered it, and after a while, I heard her running to my parents' room, calling my dad with her voice sounding all funny. Then I heard it more clearly. She was crying. As it turned out, their eldest brother, my Tito Eddie, had passed away this afternoon. Oh my.

Please pray for the soul of Edgardo S. Cadlum, an awesome uncle, brother, father, grandfather, and educator (as he was known as the first principal of De La Salle Zobel). May he rest in peace. We love you, Tito Ed.

After Rent's first week.

I haven't blogged in a while. Rent's opening week took up most of my time last week, so I never found the time to just sit down and post an entry.

So yeah, 9 Works Theatrical's production of Rent opened last Friday, after a number of preview shows that began on Tuesday. I myself had never seen the performance prior to the previews, so I was in the dark as well. When I took my post at the front-of-house on the night of the first preview, I knew I wouldn't be able to watch the first act, as there were still so many unclaimed complimentary tickets. Teena and I ended up watching the end of the first act, then went back inside to catch the rest of the second act after a few bars of "Seasons of Love" began.

After this first week of shows, I've been hearing a lot of comments about the show, and I have to admit that I share the same sentiments. But of course, who are we to speak up, because as (I think I heard) Robbie had said, you really can't please everyone. Some think that it's awesome, some got a wee bit disappointed. So for this production, maybe I'll keep some thoughts to myself for now. Hey, it's only the first week anyway. Sino ba naman ako, diba? Like I sometimes say, I may be wrong.

Anyway, despite both good and bad comments, I'm pretty much enjoying myself as just one of the lowly ushers. I get to watch every show, and I can pick whatever scene I want to watch, hahaha. Of course, we really can't avoid those pasaway audience members, but every show has them anyway. And I love how I see friends from different circles at every show. Plus there's free ice cream and coffee (thanks to sponsors) in the lobby at almost every show, hehehe. Twice, I caught Manong sneaking out to the lobby for ice cream after his last scene in Act 1, and even Noel once during the same scene.

I'm making the most out of my rest days by staying at home, making the most out of sitting and lying down, because by Thursday, I'll be back on my feet again, hahaha.

Of course, I also make some time for myself, like going for the Cinemalaya auditions last Saturday morning. Went there with Lara, because I'm afraid that if I went by myself, I might back out again, hahaha. After 2 years of skipping the auditions, I tried it out again. Hahaha, Sir Dennis just had to be positioned in the middle of the whole row of directors. When my turn was over, after I got to talk to a couple of the directors, Sir Dennis mentioned in passing that he's letting me join his film. We'll see. Haha, I don't care if it's just part of the crowd, at least it's still a Cinemalaya film.

I also managed to make some time to attend the annual Pasinaya at CCP last Sunday morning. Made it in time to catch the Philippine Marines' drum and bugle corps again before the official opening. Went directly up to the Main Gallery for Word Jam and after a couple of performances, I got to watch Aba and her band, RockBato, perform one song. After that song, I silently waved my goodbye while they were still performing, and I rushed to the conference room to catch an excerpt of Doc Resureccion by some kids I knew from CSB.

Joms had arrived to join me, and we both got to see the Tinikling showdown at the CCP front lawn, modern dance performances by Lyceum's dance troupe, and another performance by Ballet Philippines before we had to leave for RCBC. By the way, was that Robbie Hayden, the choreographer we had for Zobel's school musical productions, with Lyceum? Haha, I remember when we both had to recall a specific dance step from a previous musical, because the same choreography sort of had to be done for another production.

Anyway, one more rest day to go. Gotta make the most of it. Maybe I'll pop in that DVD that's been waiting for me to be watched, along with a couple of others.