Just thinking.

"Friendship isn't a big thing, really, but a collection of a million little things."

Eric Roa had written that in the HeARTwork magazine that Carms and Jay gave away as a wedding souvenir. When I first read that line, I remember that I was nodding to myself, even though I was supposedly just skimming through the magazine. It was so true, as it applies to every relationship.

This past week had been one of the biggest emotional roller coasters that I had ever been on. There were times of optimism and hope, times of rage (as it was my first time to shout at someone like that), times of depression, and of course, there were also really great times when I laughed like there was no tomorrow and as if nothing bad had happened.

There were things that I did that I may regret, but even with that, I guess I have to say that I'm glad it happened before it got any more painful for me to take. I may not be ready to forgive certain actions, but even though people have been shaking their heads at me, I'm still trying to keep things intact, but in a different way. It's just that sometimes I'm still afraid to be left alone with my own thoughts.

I'm truly grateful for having friends who were always there. There were Rosa and Iam, who hit me on the head with their text messages because there were things I needed to hear, and I really appreciate and love them even more for that. Betty and Opa, who were always there to listen and give the most crazy quips after every serious note, have been on and off with me online, over the phone, and in person. Even Mimay was there even though she was halfway around the world and we hardly get to chat as much anymore. And I was super thankful for Carms and Jay as well. They knew what I needed, and it was such an honor to spend a special day with them.

For now, I'll just say that it's better to forget what had happened, than to dwell on it and push any more buttons. I'm glad and thankful for the friendship, especially with you.