Saturday, November 24, 2007

upset

I just feel so disappointed right now that Shirley, Dom and Jason are here and I won't be able to spend any time with them because I'm working at Dogeaters. Heck, by the time I came home yesterday, I didn't get to see Dom because he was already sleeping. I only got to talk to him for a few minutes on the phone while I was still at the office.

And this evening, I managed to get them tickets to our show, and I didn't even get to be with them because I was still working. Then they had to leave during intermission because they had to wake up early tomorrow morning to go to Boracay. Ate Shang had quickly made all travel arrangements.

I know I shouldn't say this, but I should've quit while I was ahead. Instead of spending time with my family, I'm working my ass off. Shoot. Now I sound like an ungrateful bastard.

I hate this feeling. But I really wish I could spend time with them. But no. Because of everything going on at work, it can't be done. The only consolation I get from all of this is a pile of pretty clothes.

Shit. I feel so crummy. I feel like a lousy cousin. But then if I do even try to spend even just one day with them, it will come out that I'm neglecting my work. Arg.

I thought things were looking up for me. But then again, things aren't always so peachy.

Oh whatever. Time to get some sleep.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

of Dogeaters and more balikbayans... and to my brother

I haven't updated in ages, all because of Dogeaters' opening weekend. I had to say hello to the busy days of tech week, which included attending the Wednesday DTR, coordinating with Jessica's schedule until she left, briefing the new ushers, being harassed by ticket buyers and sponsors, and learning how to work more at the front-of-house, knowing that I'll be on my own by the last weekend.

I still can't seem to get the hang of everything. I'm afraid of being in charge, of being responsible for a whole lot of things, even for a while. Well, during my first year in Atlantis, I sort of had it easy when I was left alone for a month, as there wasn't much to do after that year's show. But this year's different. But hey, I won't be staying long anyway, as I will be going back to school again by January.

Anyway, so there, busy mode during the weekend. It was great to see lots of familiar faces again in the lobby. Hahaha, Lawyn, Ate Sally and I went crazy with the food sponsored by TGI Friday's on opening night, courtesy of Powerbooks.

I had only seen the show once, during the Wednesday DTR, and then just caught a scene here and a scene there during every show. But what I never fail to miss is that "Last Dance" number in the 2nd act by Jon and Andoy (Lawyn's crush, HAHAHAHA!). I just love those two! Plus I always keep an eye on Nicco's footwear, sponsored by yours truly. At the last minute, Nicco texted me the day before the preview show that he wanted to borrow my black Chuck Taylors. Nyahahay, it was to be part of his costume. Oh well. But imagine my annoyance when he wore it to the opening night party, hahahaha! Dear bro, I thought it was just part of your costume. Just kidding! Congrats to the cast and crew of Dogeaters! And of course, to Jessica, thank you so much!

By the way, thanks love. You know I love you. (Teeheeheehee.)

Then I'm so excited for tomorrow! My cousin Shirley's arriving from Washington along with her boyfriend Jason and her son Dominic. Oh my, I haven't seen Dom since he was a little kid, and now he's already in high school. I can't wait to see them. Thank goodness they're staying at our place.

And then more good news came my way. When I checked my mail just this evening, I found an email from my brother, without any subject or anything. Just a photo. Kuya Toto and Ate Maui are finally engaged! Hahaha, he had proposed to her after his meet in Philadelphia. Congratulations to you guys!

I have the weirdest craving for strawberry Pop Tarts. But where are there still Pop Tarts?

Monday, November 12, 2007

stress... ranting, crying, and ready to go insane

Tonight was the first time I cried because of so much stress during a production. There were a whole bunch of things that got delayed no matter how much I follow them up. But even if I'm not the one screwing up, it still turns out that way, because I'm partly responsible for it.

The pecking order is so annoying. Bobby doesn't see progress, he nags at Ms Bernice. Because Ms Berns is still in charge of partly everything, she nags at the nags person in the food chain--me. And even though I nag at the next one in line, which are the sponsors, the one who provide, etc, who still ends up as the screw up?

Me. It would appear as if I was the one who didn't deliver. Hay.

No matter how much effort I put into everything, and sure, even though I forget, I still manage to do my part, right? But nope, even if I've done my part, when they haven't seen anything materialize, it still comes out as my fault. Arg.

So today, even though I was in school during the morning working on the next leg of my return, I was still in work mode, thinking of all the things I need to do by the time I get back in the office. Follow up here, follow up there... calling, emailing, and even texting everyone involved. No matter how much I push, we all still have to wait, but of course, there are some people who won't take no for an answer.

Even though I was on my way home, there were several calls, asking where was this, where was that, why isn't that here yet? I'm doing the best I can, okay? That's their schedule, this is the schedule of the others, so I can't do anything about that. I was already anticipating another call even when I got home. "So what's for tomorrow, Hogi???" I enumerate. I hear a chuckle on the other line. I know they're ready to strangle me the moment they see me in person, but that laugh was comforting. At least they're not that mad anymore compared to the last few calls I got. Nagpipigil lang siguro.

When I hung up, I suddenly burst into tears while sitting on the couch, surprising Tad. I hated that I'm beginning to look like such a screwup, a big disappointment. All the stress suddenly poured in. It took me a while to calm down. I was so surprised that this was my very first time to break down during a production. In the past, the closest I can get to this was just being on the verge of tears, but this was the first real thing.

I know someone will ask if I'll be OK. My usual answer is that I wouldn't know, but I'll probably be much better after our opening show.

But what I know is this. I'm not giving up until I finish this whole thing.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

tonsillitis, igh.

I knew it. It wasn't just a sore throat. I have tonsillitis. Arg. I had to ask my dad to get medicine for me this morning. Waaah, I hate this. I thought that my sore throat was just a mere symptom that I was having a fever this week.

Hahaha, despite the fact that I was feeling sick last Thursday, I still went to watch Himala the Musical at CCP. Hehe, when Ms. Yvette found me, she told me if I wanted to sit on the bleachers placed on the stage along with the rest of the AC. There were bleachers there because the theater in Shanghai where the cast will be performing at will have seats on either side of the stage. So that was the setup in LT so the cast can rehearse with audience members on that side as well. The house had just opened when I was informed that I can sit there, so I couldn't find the rest of my friends. Nyak.

To be honest, I expected a lot from the show, after having seen the first run of it back in 2004. But my props to the cast, who managed to maximize the area of the stage despite the fact that there were only 12 of them. I still enjoyed listening to May Bayot, who was still spectacular as Elsa. Bwahahaha, it seemed that everytime Tad would come onstage, a bunch of people in our section would chuckle and laugh. Well, who wouldn't, as we can see that his pants were practically falling off and it was obvious that there was only a strip of garter holding it up (hahahahaha!). Oh well, this crowd was hilarious before the show began. They actually warned me that they're gonna make fun of him during the show. Well, at least his solo as the priest went well.

I need to sleep. Rawr. Darn this tonsillitis.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

meeting Jessica Hagedorn

Woke up early this morning to go to the airport. I was tasked to escort Jessica Hagedorn from the airport to her hotel. Holy kamote, when I first found out that I was given the job to do so, I sort of felt uncertain of myself. Me? Accompany the novelist/playwright of the play that we're doing? I turn into a mouse when faced with big-time people. I suddenly remember during summer of last year when Broadway Asia's John Kivlen was in town for the first set of auditions for The King & I. I was sitting like a rock beside him, while he and Dobi chatted the whole way back to the hotel.

So anyway, I arrived promptly at the airport an hour before Jessica's ETA, as it was possible that her flight could come in as early as that. Fell in line at the Pass Control office for my airport pass, but then they didn't have change for my 100-peso bill. Hello? It was P50, don't they even have change for that? Igh, when I went to the coffee shop next to the office, it was still closed, and when I signaled to the guy inside that I needed change for my money, he showed me that there was no money in the cash register. Rawr. One of the guys who was in line behind me at Pass Control noticed me and pointed me in the opposite direction, because there was a guard that sells coffee who could possible have change. The place was kinda far, so I just had to ask one of the guards as to where else I can   get change. He pointed me to one lady guard, who finally gave me two 50-peso bills. I rushed back to Pass Control, and ignored the long line that grew in the short span that I left and claimed my pass. Unfortunately, it was only limited to the restricted lobby where the passengers exit after claiming their bags at the baggage carousel. Oh well, good enough.

Jessica's flight arrived half an hour earlier than it's estimated time of arrival. I was standing along with a whole bunch of hotels' airport representatives, so I kept an eye on the one for Jessica's hotel. Suddenly the guard by the exit told me that I was in the area where the San Francisco flight was exiting, not Jessica's. He shooed me to the door next to it, so that's where I stood. Just when I got there, Jessica suddenly exits from the doors that the guard just shooed me from, so the hotel rep got to her first by a second. Wahahaha. We easily boarded the car that goes straight to the hotel, and after briefly teaching Jessica how to use the cellphone that she's borrowing during her stay, it was mostly just small talk the whole time. Hahaha, at least I wasn't tongue-tied or anything. I actually managed to talk to her about snippets from the script of our play, the cities we passed, and she even asked about the Glorietta incident, nyahahay. I was so intimidated of Jessica at first ever since Nicco told me about this interview she had that he saw on YouTube or something.

Waited until Jessica settled in at the hotel before I left. Hehehe, rewarded myself with a couple of hours of free time in the morning and good ol' breakfast at Jollibee before going off to work.

The world still keeps getting smaller. This Tuesday, when I picked up some gift bags from MAC along with Lawyn, we both found out that Erin is working at the Glorietta branch part time! Coolness. And then when I was calling Dencio's the following day, to my surprise, my contact person for that company was YFC-CSB friend Mai!

My throat hurts. I was feeling sick since last Tuesday night, and I had to take a sick leave on Thursday. In the afternoon, I managed to make some progress on my return to CSB. I have to go back on Monday. I know I sound like such a broken record, but I really can't wait for the year to end and become a full-time student again. Plus I'll be a lot closer to CCP, teeheehee. And I'll be able to have a real summer again. Hahaha.

Oh well. Time to catch up on my sleep.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

4-day bum

Is it me, or for Globe subscribers, do some of the messages you receive lag? It happens to me during the evenings. It's annoying. The network's getting screwed up.

The 4-day vacation has finally come to an end. It's been ages since I slept in and bummed around at home the whole day, though I didn't do so during all 4 days.

Tad came to visit last Friday, so we spent the entire afternoon and evening hanging around the house, as he watched me pig out (donuts, yay!) and be the internet addict that I am, hahaha. He even gave Terie a workout, with the two of us tossing his favorite ball back and forth around the garage as the cute little dog chased after it.

Bummed around the house for 2 alternating days, and I sure missed doing this! Hahaha! Though a trip to the bathroom scale gave me a surprise. I had lost a lot of weight during Labfest and Pilipinas Circa, but I gained it back in such a short period of time with an additional 5 pounds. Holy kamote, hahaha.

This morning, after another voice lesson (nyahahay, Patrick wants me to become a soprano 1), I went with Tita Tess to Tita Lynn's house, because I haven't hung out with my cousin Ate Shang in ages. We spent the entire afternoon hanging out in her room, talking while the TV was on. We even found time to watch Ocean's Thirteen and The Shaggy Dog.

Ah, I just can't get enough of simple pleasures.

But then... by tomorrow, it's back to life. Whatever. I can't wait for the year to end so I can have a new kind of life.

The Theater Checklist

Stole this from Mahar's blog. Like him, I'm curious about everyone's answers would be...

[x] 1. You’ve said countless times, "I can’t. I have rehearsal."
- Oh yes... Hay...

[ ] 2. Anyone who says Macbeth has a death wish.
 
[ ] 3. You realize theater is your social life and you don’t have any friends outside of theater.

[x] 4. If you're an actor, tech people become your heroes.
- Hell, yeah!

[ ] 5. You think the Reduced Shakespeare Company is hilarious and understand the jokes while other people watching it are confused.
 
[x] 6. You want to shoot people who think putting on a production is easy.
- From my early days, to thesis to everything, hello!

[x] 7. Stress is a way of life.
- I used to say that if I'm not stressed, I'm not working hard enough, ahehehe.

[x] 8. Cast parties rank right up there with birthday parties.
- It's what everyone looks forward to after a good show.

[x] 9. You never realized how much fun you had at rehearsals until you don’t have any more.
- Yeah... Sometimes we'd just keep recalling all the crazy things we've done.

[ ] 10. You’ve been quoted on the Quote Wall.
- I haven't had the pleasure, but I do have my own pages in Father Flynn's notebook during Doubt. Paging Bea, can I borrow those scribbles? Hahahaha!
 
[x] 11. You can’t seem to memorize your lines, but you know everyone else’s lines verbatim.
- And to think that I have poor memory.
 
[x] 12. You have the urge to be in character in public.
- Hahaha, I always do.

[x] 13. Once the production is over you don't know what to do with your time.
- Remembering Cris during the first run of Joseph. "What will I do with my evenings???" Withdrawals have no time limit.

[x] 14. You complain about how ugly your costume is.
- Nyahahay, I remember looking like a cake with pink icing, and a perky McDonald's endorser.

[x] 15. You absolutely love your costume and want to steal it from the costume room after the play is over.
- I already did it before. Hyukhyukhyuk.

[x] 16. You think your director is the coolest guy ever.
- I sing praises about all of them.
 
[ ] 17. You think your director is an idiot.
- Need I say who this one is?

[x] 18. You love going to see other productions just to compare them to yours.
- Mang-okray ba? We need to learn to critique as well, hehehe.

[ ] 19. You argue with your director about which play to do next.

[x] 20. You go see other productions and cringe when you see people that can’t act.
- Ah yes. Hay...

[ ] 21. Homework? Never heard of it.
- Who said that you won't have homework when you're in theatre? Script analysis, character profile, etc! I know a bunch of teachers who are notorious for this.
 
[x] 22. You could easily set up a cot and live in the theater. You’re there all the time anyway.
- We already did this before for one production, hehehe.</i>

[x] 23. You dread the thought of having rehearsal, but the second you get there you don’t want to leave.
- It's because of the work you enjoy doing, and the company you're with.

[x] 24. You meet someone from another theater and instantly become best friends.
- The world of theater is such a small world... There are so many of you! And I love y'all! And you, of course. Teeheehee...

[x] 25. You beg all of your friends to come see you in the play when you are only onstage for two minutes.
- Guilty! Hahahaha!

[ ] 26. You have lost count on how many times you've died.
- Just once. Last year.

[x] 27. You don't think twice about seeing guys in make-up or tights.
- Half the time, I think they know more about make-up than I do!

[x] 28. You're in public and look like you're talking to yourself because you are reciting your monologue.
- Ahehehe... I always talk to myself, anyway. But this is true as well.

[x] 29. You are a techie and want to strangle the actors because you have their lines memorized better than they do.
- Hell yeah!

[ ] 30. You think Shakespeare was a genius but dread putting on one of his plays.

[x] 31. You know what Hell Week is.
- In this biz, who doesn't?

[x] 32. If you put on a musical, you randomly sing all the songs at any time of day even if it is a musical you hate.
- I get LSS all the time.

[x] 33. Sleep? What is sleep?
- Never heard of it.

[ ] 34. Techies and actors don't understand each other, but they pretend that they do.
- It all depends, really.

[x] 35. You swear like a sailor.
- Ahem. Where did I learn this?

[x] 36. You've been dubbed a "Stage Nazi" or a "Tech God."
- Close enough. I've been dubbed the "ninja," courtesy of Chie.

[x] 37. There's more drama backstage than there is onstage.
- Yes, like Mahar had said, you can't get enough of it.

[x] 38. Actors and techies argue about who has more work.
- I haven't argued with anyone about this, but I remember a bunch who have.

[x] 39. You're on your deathbed and miss school, but you somehow manage to go to rehearsal.
- Guilty of this one too.

[x] 40. You quote lines from previous plays you've done when you have casual conversations with friends.
- Sometimes, we mix them up for fun. In </i>Virgin Labfest 3<i>, Ed did it a lot to annoy me.

[x] 41. You suddenly realize that your entire wardrobe is black.
- Hahaha, YES!

[ ] 42. Theater sex. Enough said.
- What the...?

[x] 43. You know what spiking is, and it's not what you do to hair.
- I'd be in big trouble with my teachers if I don't know what this is!

[x] 44. You've been working with the same people so long that you have blackmail to last a lifetime.
- Oh, so many to blog about (Paging Joseph people)... I'm notorious for keeping secrets that I can blackmail a lot of people.
 
[x]45. You've been injured so many times it's a miracle you're still alive.
- I've fallen down so many sets of stairs already. And my right foot has never been the same since my last accident.

[x] 46. Applause after a show is the best sound ever.

[x]47. You have a sigh of relief when you are doing a comedy and you hear the audience laughing.

[x] 48. You can't remember what a home cooked meal tastes like, but you can remember every single way Taco Bell makes a taco or burrito.
- Ever since we found the convenience of having a Tapa King, Mang Inasal and Jollibee, it's somehow like that. The cheaper the better, being the starving artists that we are. Biskwit at kape lang, masaya na ako!
 
[ ] 49. You know you're a theater guy when you can put on makeup better than half the girls in your school.
- This is one flaw... I still don't know how to put on makeup!

[x] 50. Modesty is long forgotten.
- "Pakapalan ng mukha" is the secret here!

[x] 51. You pride yourself in how fast you can strip your clothes off and change costumes. (Or help people strip!)
- Quick changes in Dreamgirls was good training, hehehe.

[x] 52. People who aren't in theater just aren't cool.
- Not really, though. They're not really uncool, because some of the time, we're not on the same wavelength, so it's hard to jive.

Total: 40/52

Thursday, November 1, 2007

with the two N's

Yesterday, Nikki and I decided to meet up after work, with it being the last day before a good 4-day vacation, hehehe. This is the 2nd Halloween in a row that we met up after work for dinner and stuff. Knowing that we both get out the same time that Dogeaters rehearsals were ending, I invited Nicco to come join us.

Nicco, along with Lao, was the first to meet up with me at Starbucks Greenbelt. Ahehe, I was so into my book that I almost didn't notice that Lao had grabbed my cellphone off the table. Nix then arrived after a while, then Lao had to leave, as he was going to Bataan with a bunch of AC and others.

Nikki, Nicco and I had dinner at Cafe Bola. Hahaha, I totally missed the Nikki-Nicco tandem! And of course, Nicco's wide range of stories, from the most mundane to the most pa-deep. Man, and from the way he talked and moved the moment he met up with us, I can finally say that the old Nicco is back! I missed you, baby bro! Hahaha, amidst the serious talk, we recalled some good ol' times together. And hey, with these two, there are so many to think of, hahaha! Had dessert at Cold Rock (yeah, ice cream!) and on with more kwentos. After using up my Powercard at Timezone, Nix and I decided to call it a night and left Nicco in Greenbelt as he was waiting for plans with his TKM friends to head on over to the Fort.

I'm always grateful for whatever time these guys can spare just so we can still hang out together. Despite the times that have changed (this word keeps appearing in our conversations that night, ahehehe), these guys haven't. Never mind that Nix is being more and more malandi (wahehehe), and Nicco is baby-stepping closer to being "the first Nicco Manalo." Nix is still one true friend I can always count on anytime, and Nicco will always be my baby bro.

I miss the crowd that these two are part of.