Birthday reflection.

I had spent my last 3 birthdays with friends, and this year, I wanted it to be different. So this year, where did I go? I checked in at a hotel to give time for myself and reflect. It kind of helped that it was raining like crazy during the night of my birthday salubong, so I just stayed in.

This year had been so different compared to the last two years. Before this year, I was so busy with our dance fitness company. This year, when I chose to prioritize my work at a BPO company and juggled a bit of freelancing in theater and events on the side, I found more time to breathe. Not that I didn't like being busy before. I enjoyed all the work, I loved being productive, and I had learned so many things, especially about myself.

This past Sunday at the Feast, Brother Bo gave a talk called "Stop, Look, and Listen." He told us that at a certain point, we have to stop, as it's a rhythm of work and trust. You have to stop to calm your mind, and to "sharpen your ax," and God will take over.

I never got to stop much before this year. I was always working. I woke up during the wee hours of morning and spent 4 hours at a call center. Then I dash to the studio and spend the rest of the day with our dance fitness company and come home in the evening after the last class. I slept for only 2 hours a day. I guess that's why I was sometimes a space case when it came to certain things at work. I never stopped.

We also have to listen. We have to create space and time so God can speak to you. It was so spot on to hear that last Sunday. So it was pretty appropriate to choose my birthday salubong for this time. It felt nice just being there alone in the hotel room, just with a book and my journal, being in the company of my thoughts. I felt so relaxed.

The best part of it was that the first people I was talking/chatting with on my birthday were my two best friends, Rosa and Iam. And then for my birthday, Iam gave me a few questions to reflect on. (Will blog about that another time.) Could it be that God spoke to me through Iam when she asked me those questions?

It's nearing the end of the year. Only months had passed, but it feels like such a long time because so many changes had happened. I took another leap. And after that leap, so many paths opened up and I bravely traveled down those paths. I picked up so many things along the way, I learned so much more than I had expected to learn, and I met so many new and interesting people that I now consider my dearest friends. They are friends who had seen me grow in this short span of time. They are friends who had helped and encouraged me to explore and deliver my core gift. True, there were certain challenges and hurdles that crossed my paths, but I learned to accept and deal with them, because we can never grow without facing them, especially those that may return for a repeat performance. I learned to welcome those recurring challenges with a more open mind, and I faced them again to learn from the mistakes that I had made during my first encounter with them. And I'm glad I did.

Finally stepping out of my personal limbo.

This past Tuesday evening, I decided to flip through my blog's old entries. I guess I just wanted to see what I could work with for my annual year-in-review blog post at the end of the year.

Because I was so busy with work last year, I never found the time to blog until this summer. I noticed that my earliest blog posts this year only began in April, when another crux had happened in my life. In the second entry of the month, I had quoted Bro. Bo Sanchez's message in the Feast bulletin.

"When a person doesn't know his core gift, it's like he's living in limbo. Note that limbo is not a bad place. But it should just be a stopover. Not knowing your core gift means it's a place of waiting, wondering, searching, and seeking.

But sooner or later, you stumble upon your place in the world, your spot under the sun, your platform in the universe. You discover what special gift you're supposed to give to the world.

At that point, you step out of limbo. And you step into a little bit of heaven on earth. By that, I don't mean that your problems will disappear. (That's why it's just a "little bit of heaven on earth".) Actually, the opposite happens--your problems multiply. Because now, you develop and deliver your gift to the world.

But knowing your core gift is an amazing experience."

This April was the time I was in limbo. I had left a full-time job, and I somehow felt like I was going back to square one. I had already stopped dancing, and decided to see if I can still act, even just for a workshop.

Getting back on the metaphorical bicycle, I was quite anxious at first, because I had learned to act a different way for a time, so I had to get back to that bigger box where I had to let myself loose again, to channel the sanguine in me again. My phlegmatic self that had been in control for a while had to take a backseat. I had to re-learn certain things again. But this time, I was ready, unlike my old self that had so many inhibitions.

Little by little, I was getting out of my own limbo, and I had just realized that lately. I started finding my own light. I was finally discovering (or maybe just rediscovering) my core gift.

As I started taking that risk, that leap again, the avenues of opportunities started to open up to me. Tanghalang Pilipino's workshop, a staged reading for the Virgin Labfest, storytelling and hosting for Make Believe Productions, Ampalaya Monologues with TAP, and even simply serving as an actor during talks at the Feast. Realizing all these blessings amazed me. It was so overwhelming. To all those who had helped me pave the way to all these avenues, thank you so much. As I had mentioned to my friend Lara, you tend to lose some things, and well, maybe even some people, yet you gain so much more than what you had lost.

Then I suddenly remembered what Bro. Migs had quoted during last Sunday's SYNC session at the Feast.

"I shovel out, and God shovels in, but He has a bigger shovel than I do."

He was right.

I personally experienced it myself.

Amazing.

A retrospective on enlightenment and empowerment after the Kerygma Conference.

Over a week had already passed since the Kerygma Conference 2015, and I'm still on a KCON high. The entire experience, although shorter than expected, was really enlightening and very empowering, as this entry's title suggests. And I do believe that I was there at the right time for a reason.

My mind is filled with so many thoughts about this right now, so I'll try my best to make sense of it for this blog and for you.

Before I first attended a session of Bo Sanchez's The Feast, I honestly have to admit that I wasn't really a good Catholic. While my parents thought I was going to church on Sunday afternoons, I was actually going to coffee shops, just spending my time there, reading or writing.

Then last year, my mentor, whom I call Mommy Val, invited us to attend Brother Bo's Holy Week retreat, and a bunch of us willingly went with her and her family. Two days of meaningful talks, plus a Grand Easter Feast left us with so many powerful messages, some of which struck a personal chord in each of us. That experience inspired me to keep going to church regularly at the Feast. I usually went with some of my fellow dance scholars and sometimes even with our mentor and her family.

At the end of this year's first quarter, I had resigned from our group (I worked as a communications specialist for our dance fitness company), and then I became busy with freelance work, even on Sundays. At first, I could still manage to attend the Feast regularly, but then there were some days that I couldn't due to an event that day. I have to admit, I got kind of lazy to wake up early to attend a morning session before heading to my events.

Then came the call for servants at the Feast. Noticing that there was an actors arm in the performing arts ministry under the events and programs cluster, it appealed to me so much that I signed up for it almost immediately. I first got to meet only a small bunch of servant actors during one general assembly. It was a pretty candid affair, as we were just sitting around on the floor on the 3rd floor of the PICC.

There wasn't that much need for actors for the talks during those times, and when there was, I wasn't available. Whenever I managed to attend a Sunday Feast then, I started going alone, as I had somewhat detached from a few people.

The first time I ever got to serve was at the beginning of last month (November 1st). It was only the second time I got to see a couple of people I had first met in the general assembly, including our head, Tony. The rest were all new faces to me. We had to perform this particular skit for 3 Feast sessions, and as the day progressed, I started warming up to them.

Then Brother George asked which of us were going to attend the Kerygma Conference, and he explained that they needed a big group of actors for the event's opening production number, but they needed people who were actually attending the conference as a priority. Now, I had been very curious about the Kerygma Conference since last year, but I never got to attend then due to my very busy schedule. I knew that this year, I would finally get my chance to do so.

I was so persistent. I quickly filed my leaves on the days when the conference would conflict with my work schedule, then used part of my meager savings to pay for my ticket. As I was registering online, I got so excited for the breakout classes that I had signed up for.

We were called in for a technical rehearsal on Monday evening on the week of the Kerygma Conference. It was also the same week of the APEC event, but despite all the horrendous traffic jams everywhere, a big bunch of us still managed to make it to the SMX Convention Center for rehearsal. I got to meet more servant actors, plus other people involved in the event, and not only from Feast Bay Area, but also from other Feasts all over the metro.

Let's backtrack a bit. The theme of this year's Kerygma Conference was "Coming Home," somewhat in relation to the parable of the Prodigal Son. So the concept of the opening number was different ways/versions of coming home. Some of us played "travelers," while the rest for respective "greeters" to each type of traveler. I got cast as one of the travelers, as a new Feast attendee, and my two greeters were Meg and Joyce.

Photo courtesy of Meg Bueno.

We rehearsed a few times, beginning with Brother Paolo's spoken word piece about coming home, to all the travelers' entrances to the stage from different spots behind the audience, to the opening worship. While I knew it was just a rehearsal, the energy during those opening worship songs was electrifying. It wasn't just a rehearsal anymore. We were singing and praising for real. Even after our high spirits and energy, for some reason I didn't feel all that tired when we ended rehearsal a little past midnight. And to think that I had to walk all the way from SMX to the Edsa Pasay rotunda with a few others due to the traffic jam.

The Kerygma Conference was supposed to be from November 19-22 (Thursday to Sunday), but because of certain inconveniences due to the APEC event, everything had to be pushed back. All the breakout classes had to be crammed during the entire weekend, concluding with the Grand Feast on Sunday afternoon (there was a separate Grand Feast on Sunday morning for non-attendees of the conference). I didn't really mind one it, as long as the conference would still push through.

As much as I would like to elaborate more about the conference itself, I now would just like to focus on a certain realization. It happened when I found a bit of quiet time last Thursday afternoon and started reading Brother Bo's book, Life Manual 101: How to Make Your Dreams Come True. All Kerygma Conference attendees were lucky (well, blessed, really) enough to get free copies of that book. (Thank you so much, Brother Bo!)

So anyway, another backtrack, when I first attended the Feast last year, I was given a Novena to God's Love, the usual token given to first-time Feast attendees. We were supposed to write our dreams in it. OK, I honestly have to admit that I never wrote any of my dreams in that novena. I was hesitant to even pencil anything in. Back then, I was still a marketing and communications specialist, and even though things were going so well in terms of my growth in that business, I was still kind of uncertain whether my path really belonged there or not.

So at the opening number, there I was onstage, playing a first-time attendee. As my greeters made their entrance, Meg handed me a brand new novena as a prop. I had put it in my back pocket and forgot that it was there until the end of the day. I may be rationalizing at this point, but maybe this may also be some kind of realization. Now that I had left that former line of work and had returned to theater, to performing freelance, was the new novena a sign that I could finally write down the dreams that I am now sure about? The dreams that had developed this year that I am truly meant to do for God's glory? Was I cast to play this part for a reason, to receive that novena at that moment, for that simple realization?

I'm not exaggerating when I say that this realization was so overwhelming that my eyes filled up with tears when all these thoughts came to mind.

This year, during this quarter, I had come home in more ways than one. From attending Feast sessions sporadically to regularly again, from being just a mere attendee to using my core gift of the performing arts to be a servant, and being part of a glorious event such as the Kerygma Conference, and more importantly, from being detached to finding another home in new friends I now consider part of my big family in the Feast. Yes, this quarter is full of enlightenment and empowerment for me, and that is one big blessing I am very grateful for. And to think that the year isn't even over yet.

Photos courtesy of The Feast Bay Area's Facebook page.

Here's to December, a new month after a very fulfilling November. It may be the last month of the year, but it's never too late for things to happen. More importantly, it's never too late for more blessings to come.

On the Ampalaya Monologues experience.

It's been exactly a week since the last Ampalaya Monologues affair, and it's high time to write about it.

Sometime after this summer's workshop, I remember Mark mentioning the Ampalaya Monologues about once or twice. I also recall he once invited me to be a part of it, but I think I had to reluctantly decline due to a prior commitment, so I might be busy for rehearsals. But I did promise to come watch the show.

For some of you guys who aren't familiar with it, Ampalaya Monologues is a collection of short monologues about love, heartaches, and bitterness inspired by popular memes and real life stories. I loved one of their taglines that say, "Para sa mga umasa, pinaasa, iniwan, iniwasan, nilayuan, nasaktan, nabigo, nasawi, lumuha, niloko, pinagpalit, nag-walling, na-seenzoned, umibig pero hindi inibig."

The first volume of Ampalaya Monologues debuted on August 30th, a Sunday, at Bugsy's in Westgate, Alabang.

When my friends and I had arrived at the venue at 4pm on that day, the place was already packed. Even though the monologues didn't start until 6pm, there was already a lot of activity. There was ongoing live art outside the venue, and music by a live band spilled out from inside.

It had just started raining when it was nearing 6pm, but that didn't faze the crowd. The venue was jam-packed to accommodate everyone, even those who had seats outside, and I was glad that our group had already nabbed a big table in the back earlier on, so we had a good view of everything.

There were a total of 7 monologues, all written by Mark, performed by his fellow members of TAP (Theater in Alternative Platforms), plus 3 guest performers (JV, Aldo, and Blanche). Each monologue alternated with spoken word artists, with their own piece related to the event's theme. I totally enjoyed every performance, because heck, everyone somehow managed to relate to any, if not all of them. Applause, laughter, wild shouts of reaction were scattered all throughout as people reacted to every line they can relate to. Hugot after hugot came and went, and some even chugged their drinks when a particular line hit the right spot. Even I had my own share of loud cheers and shouts, and even tweeted some of my favorite lines. What made the night even better was that because it was raining hard, sometimes the lightning and thunder went off at the most appropriate times during people's performances.

Even though I sort of regretted not being a part of that event, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Then one afternoon, Mark mentioned that Ampalaya Monologues will be doing a repeat performance. And to my delight, he even hinted one time that he might include me for one of his additional monologues. I didn't think he was serious at first. But to my surprise, two weeks after that, he sent me a copy of the new monologue, asking my availability to rehearse.

So after enjoying the first round of Ampalaya Monologues, I was now a part of it. After reading through the piece a few times, and one evening rehearsal with Mark, it took me a little while until I warmed up to the piece, memorizing it and finding pieces of myself in it. It was an interesting process. The monologue was called "Hanggang Throwback Na Lang," and it was about a girl recounting her 2005 with a guy she had liked. Even though I never had the actual firsthand experience of the story in the monologue, I had my own fair share of a similar heartache during that exact same year. So by using that, the dig from the hugot lines totally appealed to me.

After another round of rehearsals with Mark along with Blanche and Aldo, I was glad to hear from Mark that I finally got it, but my real challenge was to stop holding back. I knew he could see that. To be honest, I had no problem acting onstage because it was easy to use the fourth wall. But a performance of a monologue, something that is to be executed on my own, was different for me. It was different in terms of I had to face the audience and actually communicated with them. This was my own case of stage fright even back when I was still a communications specialist and having to speak to different groups of people.

The second run of Ampalaya Monologues was held last week, October 25th, at Splice Resto Bar in Greenfield District, Mandaluyong.

Like the first show of Ampalaya Monologues, the venue was filled to the brim. There were so many people, even more than the first show, that even as early as 5pm, I was having a hard time to get to my seat inside the venue because of how many people there were. A good problem, in my opinion.

About half an hour before the monologues had to begin, Mark gathered us for a company call. In line with the Halloween theme, we performers were dressed in mostly black. He introduced R'love, Yan-yan and me as the new additions. I started to get more excited than nervous. After running through my monologue on my own outside, I went back inside to the table I shared with Nikki and Drei and just enjoyed the first few performances before mine. Whatever happens up there will happen.

After host Rene had introduced me, I just went up to the microphone and spoke. Once I started, I also began to enjoy myself out there, instead of just barreling through the lines like I used to do. When the people started reacting, I went with it. For the first time standing alone in front of a very receptive crowd, I was really enjoying myself. The crowd was actually listening and reacting, and even more so when I delivered a chunk of "hugot" lines (some of which, like most hugot lines in all the monologues, were almost immediately posted on Twitter).

"Chat ka nga ng chat, tapos nung na-fall ka, di ka naman ika-catch."

So my Ampalaya Monologues experience was uber-fun. Thank you loads to Mark for inviting me, and to Black Table and TAP for another successful event! Congratulations to everyone!

See you all for the next shows of Ampalaya Monologues!

Photos courtesy of Mark Ghosn, Carl Matoog and Nikki dela Cruz.

Dramatis Personal: Mark Ghosn.

Mark Ghosn is the Creative Director of TAP (Theater in Alternative Platforms), which is a theater group based in the South Metro. With the recent success of Ampalaya Monologues, TAP's most recent tie-up with Black Table Productions, I sat down one afternoon with the event's writer for a little casual tête-à-tête.

When did you start acting?

College days. It was 2005 when I joined my first theater org, Dulaang Perpetual. I was in first year college.

Why did you decide to join?

Well, since bata pa ako, mahilig na talaga umarte. I remember when I was a kid, sa labas ng bedroom namin, may poster na nakalagay doon. Drawing ako ng poster, tapos yung mga cousins ko would sit in front of the bed, and then they watch me perform on top of it. And then nung college na, when there was an opening for members for that organization, I joined. And then sabi kasi nila na walang audition. Feeling ko kung may audition yun, hindi ako nakasali, kasi sobrang mahiyain ako, sobrang introvert, kaya nakasali ako. And then tuluy-tuloy na from there, dun na nawala yung mga inhibitions ko.

What were your previous theater experiences?

Sa college, kasi every semester, merong production yun eh. So dun talaga kami nahasa. And iba-iba yung mga moderators namin per year, so we were able to work with them. Actually all of them were from Tanghalang Pilipino. Miss Cats Racsag, Chris Gozum, tapos si Sir Mcdo Bolanos, Sir JK [Anicoche] from Sipat Lawin Ensemble. And then after college, kinuha kami ng Sipat Lawin for Battalia Royale. Dun na nagstart. Akala ko kasi after college, tapos na, diba? Pero pwede pa pala siya i-extend.  So after nun, Battalia Royale, and then dun na nagkaroon ng TAP. So we decided to form our group, which is TAP nga.

So tell me about TAP (Theater in Alternative Platforms).

Ang mga members ng TAP ay mga alumni ng Dulaang Perpetual. We decided to form the group because after college, napapansin ko na ang daming mga talented na artists, especially from the south, na hindi nabibigyan ng venue to showcase their talents. So sabi ko, if we can't make it sa mga ibang theater org, why don't we create our own, diba? And ang galing lang kasi natupad siya after 3 years. Well, it took 3 years, actually, to actually build the group, the organization, the name, who we are, and all that. And this year is our first year for TAP. And we started with the Karnabal festival, mainly because our mentor is Sir JK. So yun yung first naming sabak. And then nag-open na yung doors for other theater festivals for us to join, and yun nga, we already had our first co-production. Yung TAP is mainly for the alumni of Dulaang Perpetual but at the same time, to showcase the talents of different artists from the south as well.

Showcase the talents of artists from the south... So is that the objective of TAP?

Yes, that's the objective of TAP, and also because we want to create new works na iba sa usual na nakikita. Siguro kasi because our main influence is Sipat Lawin, so it's like that pero different in a way that mas relatable yung mga gusto naming ipalabas.

Do you have a specific target audience for TAP? The south lang talaga or do you plan to branch out?

Right now, we're focusing dito sa south, and our target is yung mga young professionals like us, and the millenials as well. And that's why most of the stories that we want to showcase are those that reflect kung ano ba yung current status or issues na pinagdadaanan natin in our 20s, sa mga ganitong mga panahon ng teknolohiya and modernization. And nakakatuwa nga kasi mas involved na tayo ngayon, especially with social media, mas nagiging involved na tayo ngayon sa mga social issues na nangyayari sa atin. So target market namin is primarily south-based na mga young professionals, or people in their 20s. But, eventually sa plano ng TAP, of course, we're planning to showcase yung talent ng south sa iba pang mga lugar sa Philippines, and around the world. Why not?

So what were TAP's past productions? You mentioned the Karnabal festival.

Karnabal festival... so that was an original piece that I wrote, which was entitled Mga Multo ni Mang Roque. It was experimental. What we did was sinara namin yung 2^nd floor ng Puppet Museum, at lahat ng mga possible light entries, tinakpan namin, so it was a very dark performance area. Ang gamit lang ng mga tao nun na light was this one flashlight na pinagpapasa-pasahan ng mga tao. So it was about a horror house that was about to close na. And yung mga multo na nandun represent yung mga iba't ibang celebrities na nalaos na. And then parang nag-aagawan sila doon sa iisang ilaw, na ang may hawak o may control is yung audience. Audience ang may hawak ng flashlight at pinagpapasa-pasahan nila. Sila ang mamimili kung sino ang gusto nilang ilawan, kung gusto nga ba nilang itutok yun kung kanino man o hindi. So in the end, the message of the show was that we, as performers, hindi natin kontrolado kung ano yung gusto ng mga tao. Kahit gaano ka kagaling, at the end of the day, it’s them who controls kung ano yung gusto nila panoorin. I think it has a lot to do with TAP as well, because it took a while for us to find a venue for someone to watch us.

Your most recent event this past August, the Ampalaya Monologues, how did you come up with the idea for that?

Ampalaya Monologues... 3 years ago, we were thinking of our first production. We're going to be a company that will be different from all the rest, however, we don't have a venue, we cannot afford to actually have an actual show in a theater or you know, like a big production. So I thought of coming up of with monologues. All you need is a mic, minimal lang yung set, and a good script. So 3 years of writing different monologues, and coming up with different stories and inspiration for that. So that’s how Ampalaya Monologues happened.

Ampalaya Monologues were, obviously, monologues about bitterness. How did you get the inspiration for that? Meron bang mga personal issues or you take from what you observe sa paligid?

To be honest, I never really had an actual or official relationship in my life. Hindi pa ako nagkakaroon ng totoong relationship talaga. (laughs) Ang masasabi ko lang, I was always that friend na laging nilalapitan kapag may mga heart problems yung mga friends ko, the shoulder to cry on. So dun sa 7 monologues na yun, ang akin lang is yung "Sa Pagitan ng Tayo Ba at Hindi Na." Yun yung hugot ko personally. And of course, the "Hanash ng Soloista." Always the best friend, never the bida. And then the other 5, yung mga iba na yun, they came from my friends, stories of my friends, people I know. And ang sarap lang kasi din sa pakiramdam na you create a piece of art from other people's heartaches, and they get to watch it, let’s say 2 or 3 years from now, pag OK na sila, and they get to watch it and say, wow, whatever they want to feel about it. Hindi lang nasayang yung heartache nila, may na-produce kang art from it.

So any possibilities of a repeat performance?

Yes, we're bringing it sa iba ibang lugar. This October, there’s another one. And another in December. The best of Ampalaya Monologues, hopefully, February, sa araw natin (laughs), Singles Awareness day. And then after that, madami pa. I'm planning to have an Ampalaya Monologues Love Wins Edition, to celebrate yung LGBT month. So all the monologues will be about LGBTs. I'm planning na lahat ng ticket sales from that event will go to a specific LGBT foundation. And then ang dami ko pang naiisip. I want to create pieces for women empowerment, using Ampalaya Monologues for that. I also want one for domestic violence, may mga piyesa na rin akong ginawa for that. So it's not just for "hugot". I want it to become more than that. I want it to serve as a way for change, and for informing people about the things that are going on in our society. And I think that’s what TAP is all about. I'm excited for that.

Other than your shows and events, do you do other things such as workshops, etc?

Right now, we are focusing on Ampalaya Monologues and then yung mga theater festivals na kasali kami. And then next year, madami na rin kasing kumakausap for workshops, so hopefully mag-start na rin yun. The thing about TAP is that we all have our day jobs. So lahat ng members meron mga professional work other than TAP. So yun yung first challenge namin ngayon, to balance that. But our motto namin is "Love what you do, and do what you love." So we love our day jobs, but we are also doing what we love, which is theatre. So hopefully that motto will keep us together.

So you mentioned that you guys have day jobs. Is that how you support your passion for theatre? And how do you balance that?

Naba-balance ko ba? (laughs) It's very important that you also love your day job. It should not be just something that you do just for that sake of it. I’m a BPO process trainer, and I love teaching. It's the same as performing, but in a different way. You stand in front of people, and then play a certain character, which is the trainer, and then you read out your script which is the process that you're teaching them. Which is saulado mo na kasi ilang beses mo nang ginagawa. So madali na lang yung day job ko, kasi kumbaga mahal ko rin naman siya. I also enjoy doing it. And that's why siguro naba-balance ko rin, and also because very supportive yung mga katrabaho ko, especially my boss, he understands na dapat may balance between your work and your life. So yun, sobrang nakaktulong talaga yung ganun.

Other than your training from your college orgs, and with Sipat Lawin and TAP, from where else did you train for theater?

My most recent training, and one of the most challenging as well, was the Rehearsal and Performance Techniques training that we had with Sir Dennis Marasigan last summer for Tanghalang Pilipino. I think that was super challenging. It was 5 times a week. So very challenging, you know how Sir Dennis is naman. He has his own way of teaching you and testing you. Pero after that, after the show, ang dami mong bagong alam. And the good thing about Sir Dennis is that hindi lang siya sa pang workshop nagtuturo. Even kapag magkasama lang kayo, you’re hanging out, over dinner, he always has stories to tell, and you always learn something new from him. He's very generous when it comes to teaching you, and to share yung mga natututunan niya sa buhay niya. And ayun, he’s really a very good mentor, and I'm learning a lot from him. And I'm hoping to learn more from him pa talaga.

With what you’ve been doing lately, where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

So right now, aside from TAP, I'm also part of a production company, which is Black Table Productions. Yun naman, we produce different events for different types of artists. Poetry, like yung nga, TAP. We are the ones responsible for the production of Ampalaya Monologues. We have other events na hindi kasali yung TAP naman. So ang daming going on with me right now, which I'm very very happy about. But in the future I would like to build an empire (laughs). I would like to focus on that, on the production company, and hoping that TAP will be very stable na to a point wherein we don't need to do our day jobs anymore, and we can just rely on it. Or even if we have to do our day jobs, our priority will have to be TAP already. I think TAP will be my legacy here. Even if hindi man siya sumikat or what, but sa mga tao na mga nakasali sa TAP, sa bawat individual na nakatrabaho namin during productions and all, I hope that, yun yung purpose ko with TAP, for once in their life, may nagbigay sa kanila ng chance na mag-perform. Makita ko lang silang nabigyan ng chance na mag-perform because of TAP, OK na ako dun, masaya na ako.

What’s the best advice you had ever received?

Hindi siya advice, more on lesson. Si Cats [Racsag] ang nagsabi na galing kay Stanislavki, na you have to be a thinking actor. Kasi it changed how I looked at acting and tumaas yung respeto ko sa industriya nung na-realize ko yun totoong trabaho na ginagawa ng isang tunay na actor.

What’s the best advice you can give?

Even if kahit hindi mo sabihin, ipakita mo lang na sinusuportahan mo sila for what they’re doing, and what makes them happy, then sige. So kung meron man akong isang advice, never give up until you make it. And even if you don't, at least you didn’t give up.

*Photos courtesy of Mark Ghosn and Mars Mercado.

Ampalaya Monologues Returns for a Halloween Hugot.

Greenfields, Mandaluyong.  –  There are more things scarier than a ghost, like the fear of falling for someone who wouldn't love you back, the fear of being single for the rest of your life, or the fear of being cheated on; most people would rather see a ghost than witness their partner flirting with someone else. These are the fears that we encounter in our daily lives and Ampalaya Monologues is back to remind us about them.

After successfully debuting in Alabang last August, Ampalaya Monologues is back this October.  The event which features short monologues that are inspired by real love stories and popular memes was a huge hit with its "hugotable" quotes, hilarious punchlines and heartbreaking stories. Aside from all the original monologues which include the crowd favorites "There’s a Basha in All of Us" and "Hanash ng Soloista”, they've added a few new monologues that are especially written to complement the event’s Halloween vibe.

Ampalaya Monologues also serves as a venue to showcase different artists from the Southern Metro, headlining the event is the south based theatre group TAP! (Theater in Alternative Platforms), it will be hosted by Rene Cruz Jr. and also features Spoken Word Poetry courtesy of Juan Miguel Severo, Zuee Herrera, Louise Meets and Abby Orbeta of Words Anonymous, Rommel Pamaos of LAPIS ArtCom, and Jake Habitan of White Wall Poetry, with Live Arts by Tyang and Quatro of Cavity Collective, and musical performances by Chasing Deadlines and Suicidal Genius. The event will end with an open mic for anyone who would like to pour their haunted heart out on stage.

Ampalaya Monologues is written by Mark Ghosn and is produced by Black Table Productions. It will happen on October 25, 2015 at Splice Resto Bar, Greenfields, Mandaluyong. The show starts at 4:00 PM. Entrance is at Php 170 pesos only with 1 free drink.

For information, visit facebook.com/AmpalayaMonologues.

Dramatis Personal: Doray Dayao and Lhorvie Nuevo.

If there's one thing I've learned from experience and from other people, it's that sometimes, taking a big leap or just taking that chance will help you find your core gift that will lead you to success. I got to chat with a couple of ladies from the Tanghalang Pilipino Actors Company, Doray Dayao and Lhorvie Nuevo, during one of their breaks from a rehearsal.

How long have you been with the Actors Company?

Doray: Since 2012. Nag-attend ako ng summer workshop, basic acting workshop, tapos after nung summer, ininvite ako maging part ng AC.

Lhorvie: Ahead siya [Doray] sakin ng 1 year, so 2013.

Doray, you mentioned na nag-start ka sa basic acting workshop in TP, pero when did you really start acting?

Doray: Wala, wala akong background sa acting. Even sa high school, hindi ako sa arts.

So bakit pinili mo yung workshop?

Doray: Parang iba lang siya. 14 years na ako sa corporate world. Tapos nag-resign ako. Gusto ko kasi ng ibang ginagawa naman. Usually kasi nage-enroll ako sa mga personal development skills. Kung anu-ano, minsan photography, mga foreign language... Nung nagwo-work pa ako, kung anu-ano, mga dancing, mga ganun. May sports din ako. Pag wala kasing office yun eh. Nasanay ako na balanse dapat yung life mo, diba? Tapos naisip ko, anong gusto ko gawin after nito? Iba naman, try ko mag-act, kasi mahiyain ako, may stage fright ako. So gusto ko lang i-try. Tapos yun na, nag-enroll ako sa basic acting workshop.

Lhorvie: Ako naman, nung college talaga, nagsasayaw. Kasi dance theater yung group namin. Tapos nung mag-OJT na ako--kasi Mass Comm yung course ko--may kilala ako na nag-OJT siya dito [sa TP]. Sabi sakin, "Sige, mag-OJT ka dun." Tapos sabi ko, "Eh, gusto ko pumasok sa BP [Ballet Philippines]." Sabi niya, "Oo, pwede rin sa Tanghalang Pilipino, sumasayaw din sila. Contemp nga sinsasayaw nila, hindi ballet." Tapos may nag-invite sakin, eh nag-OJT ako. Nakapasa ako. Tapos nung pagdating ko dito, theater pala siya, so ayun lang, sobrang iba yung culture.

Doray: Nag-start talaga yung interest ko sa theater nung napanood ko yung Miss Saigon, kasi never akong nakapanood ng theater. Nung college, parang once lang. Tapos nung napanood ko yung Miss Saigon, manghang-mangha ako kasi ang galing. Alam nila kung anong gagawin, kung saan sila pupunta. Bakit alam nila ang gagawin, aarte-arte, ganun? Tapos yun, nagstart na. Ma-try ko nga. Tapos gusto ko nang makapag-perform sa totoong stage.

What made you decide to join AC?

Doray, Lhorvie: Try lang!

Doray: Tapos sabi may kontrata daw. Tapos nag-isip ako, may kontrata, so ibig sabihin hindi ako pwedeng umalis ng one year, pano kung maisipan kong mag-work ulit. Tapos tinry ko lang, tapos yun na, tuluy-tuloy na, hanggang ngayon, andiyan pa rin.

Lhorvie: May nag-invite sakin na, "O mag-audition ako, mag-audition ka rin." "Ay, diyan ako nago-OJT." Tapos nung audition na, akala ko kilala ko yung mga magpa-panel, hindi pala. Sila Sir Tuxqs, dun ko lang sila na-meet. Nagulat ako.

In your opinion, what does it take to be part of the Actors Company?

Doray: Malaking responsibilidad. Syempre scholar kami dito. As an AC, yun yung privilege namin dito. Meron kaming classes, so naho-hone yung skills namin sa singing, acting and pag-analyze namin ng mga plays, mga stories, dancing. And then syempre nakakasama ka sa mga productions na kasama mo rin yung mga magagaling na artists. So may natututunan ka rin from them.

Lhorvie: Bukod dun kasi sa acting, dancing at saka voice, ang dami rin naming ginagawa. Nagpa-puppetry kami (gestures to the Prinsipe Munti props scattered around). Tapos may mga advocacies pa kami na dinadala namin sa Pasay, sa Leyte... So ang daming responsibility. Kasi TP lang yata yung may mga classes, ganun.

Doray: Tsaka hindi lang acting. Backstage din. So nag-SM kami, nag-lights, technical.

Lhorvie: Tsaka hindi pwedeng masama ugali. (chuckles) Kailangan mabuting tao ka sabi ni Tatang.

What’s your core gift, or X-factor, that you believe is an asset as part of AC?

Doray: Siguro ako kasi yung isa sa mas matanda dito, siguro mas matured na siguro kami, and dumaan na kami sa mga edad nila. (laughs) Mas ahead nga, mas senior. Pero in terms of acting, syempre learning pa rin. Tuluy-tuloy pa rin.

Lhorvie: Kasi sa AC, iba-iba talaga yung kung saan kami nage-excel. May acting... Si Ate Doray, acting at saka stage management. Sa akin kasi, mas malakas talaga yung urge kong magsayaw. Nasa movement talaga. Nung unang-una pa, hirap na hirap ako. "Pano ko gagawin ito? Hindi naman ako actress. Kailangan sumasayaw ako." Tapos may nagsabi sakin na kung ano yung ginagawa mo sa dance, kung ano yung preparation mo, kung ano yung mas malakas sayo, gamitin mo yung strength na yun para ilipat siya sa acting.  So parang feeling mo isinasayaw mo yung mga linya. Sobrang laking tulong nung pinag-aralan ko sa dance tapos nadala ko siya sa theater. Magkaiba silang dalawa pero napagsasama mo.

How do you think your lifestyle changed since joining AC? Pano kayo nag-grow?

Doray: Iba yung schedule. Dati 8 to 5.

Lhorvie: Sobrang nabawasan talaga yung lifestyle, kasi yung before, nakakapagkita pa ako sa mga friends ko, nakakauwi pa ako sa bahay ko araw-araw, sa Dasma. Ngayon hindi na. Kasi from kunwari sisimulan namin ang isang araw ng alas diyes, matatapos kami ng alas diyes kasi yung 10am na yun, may meeting, tapos sa 1pm may klase kami, may rehearsal, tapos the next day iba nanaman yung gagawin. Sobrang busy.

Doray: Nag-iba lang yung oras. Tapos walang late. Social life nabawasan ng konti.

Do you think nag-grow kayo as a person habang nasa AC?

Lhorvie: Sobra. Kasi before, parang war freak kasi ako dati. (chuckles) Parang pag may kinainisan ako, talagang aawayin ko, pero ngayon, hindi, kailangan intindihin ko muna. Maging mabuting tao, sabi ni Tatang. Maging magandang halimbawa. Yun kasi yung laging sinasabi ni Tatang. Hindi ka lang actor, kailangan mabuti ka ring tao, so dapat pinapakita mo na ganito yung mabuting tao. Tapos pumupunta pa kami sa ibang lugar para tumulong sa mga [nasalanta ng] Yolanda, yung mga ganun. So sobrang overwhelming yung natatanggap namin, at the same time, natututo kami. Sobrang dami naming natututunan.

Doray: Sa amin dati kasi diba may boss ka, tapos may staff ka rin. Dito kasi, ano kaya ang pwede mong magawa?  Hindi lang to entertain, may cause din yung pag-aarte eh. So pwedeng political side, educational, or cultural... Kasi dati, syempre for profit, nagtatrabaho ka para kumita, and then syempre basic needs mo. Dito, hindi mo na naiisip yung kikitain mo eh, yung passion mo na lang na umarte. Tapos kung ano yung pwede mong lesson or inspiration na mabigay sa audience mo.

What’s your favorite production so far?

Doray: Ako, first time ko kasi mag-SM sa Mabining Mandirigma. So nakita ko yung side ng pagiging SM. And malaki kasi yun eh, musical pa. Ang daming nangyayari. So isa siguro yun.

Lhorvie: Feeling ko, Melanie. Kasi nga advocacy play, so hindi lang kami para mag-perform, para rin nagbibigay kami ng knowledge sa mga tao tungkol sa HIV, bakit at paano nahahawa. Kasi maraming misconceptions sa HIV. So hindi dahil sa bongga yung production, kundi yung laman niya. Yun yung maganda sa kanya, kasi maraming natututo.

What’s your most challenging role?

Doray: Sa Pahimakas sa Isang Ahente. Kasi hindi talaga ako sanay sa pagiging “woman”. Basta pokpok, nahihirapan talaga ako. (laughter) Basta yung mga sexy scenes.

Lhorvie: Ako sa Sandosenang Sapatos. Kasi yun yung first ko na musical production sa professional theater. Akala ko, aarte lang talaga ako. Yun pala kakanta rin! Wait lang po ha, hindi rin ako kumakanta (laughter). So feeling ako ang pinaka-problematic dun sa Sandosena. Kasi nga yung tono, dun ko lang na-meet si "tono." (laughs) Hindi ko siya kilala dati. Habang kumakanta kami, performance na, gumaganun sila (snaps and claps to a beat). So yun yung pinaka-challenging, kasi unang-una. Tapos feeling ko na-trauma ako sa musical. (laughs)

Doray: Tapos may rollerblades pa, may sayaw pa.

Lhorvie: At saka kung paano ka magiging playful. Tapos yung mga edad namin, na-realize ko lang din na yung mga sapatos, mga one-year-old... hanggang 12 years old lang yung mga sapatos. Eh kaming mga 22 na, paano kami babalik sa pagkabata?

In the theater industry, who do you look up to? Role models?

Lhorvie: Dito syempre, unang-una, si Miss Shamaine [Centenera-Buencamino]. Tsaka si Miss Irma [Adlawan]. Nung nakatrabaho kasi namin nung Juego, dun ko lang na-realize na ang galing niya, sobrang galing [ni Miss Shamaine]. Tapos dun ko lang na-realize na may idol pala ako pagdating sa acting. Kasi dati, wala talaga eh. Tapos pag kinausap mo sila tungkol sa character nila, alam na agad nila. Kunyari first reading pa lang, performance level na, pwede na siyang mag-show. Pano nila nagagawa ito? Tapos sasabihin nila, syempre with practice. Kasi it takes time. Tapos nakakatuwa lang, kasi dito sa TP, nagkakaroon nga kami ng chance na yung mga idol namin, nakakatrabaho namin, kahit hindi pa co-actor, maging SM ka nila, ganun. So sobrang maraming matututunan. Hindi lang galing sa teachers kundi sa hands-on training namin pag nakakasama namin sila. Ang daming ideas. Lalo na si Miss Irma rin.

Doray: Nakikita mo na lang yung galing nila pag nakatrabaho mo na. Pati si Tito Dido [dela Paz], reading pa lang, my gosh, may ganun na. Kasi pag nakita mo, ang galing pala nito. Hindi naman ako yung tao na kailangan panoorin ko ito. Sakin kasi lahat naman ng tao, may sariling galing. Kahit ikaw naman, kung anong tingin mo sa sarili mo, kung gusto mo maging ganito, nasa iyo naman yun eh. So feeling ko lahat naman magaling.

After your accomplishments in AC so far, where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

Doray, Lhorvie: Umaarte pa rin! (laughter)

Doray: Mas busy na, siguro mas marami nang project nun.  Marami nang involvement.

Lhorvie: Feeling ko dito pa rin. Mas marami na nga lang responsibility kasi syempre hindi kami mag-stay lang na scholar lang forever. Pagdating mo ng member, parang hindi na lang yung sarili mo yung cargo mo. Syempre kailangan mong tumulong dun sa mga lower batch. Kasi marami pa kaming gagawin eh. Feeling ko marami pang gagawin ang TP.

Doray: Tapos once in a while, nagtuturo rin kami. At kami rin, continuous pa rin naman yung ginagawa namin.

Lhorvie: Kasi para sakin, hindi nakakasawa yung mag-stay dito sa TP, kasi sobrang iba-iba yung ginagawa mo palagi. Ayun nga, nag-SM kami... ang dami-dami naming nakikilalang tao, nagtuturo kami sa iba’t ibang lugar.

Doray: Tapos later, magwo-workshop din kami.

Lhorvie: Kami naman yung participants.

What’s the best advice that you ever received?

Doray: Improve yourself. And compete with yourself.

Lhorvie: Kailangan daw, pag actor, hindi self-centered. Hindi ka para dito kung para lang sa sarili mo yung ginagawa mo.

What’s the best advice you can give?

Lhorvie: Listen. Lagi ka lang makikinig. Dapat disiplinado. Kasi hindi ka magtatagal sa theater kung wala kang disiplina.

Catch these ladies in Tanghalang Pilipino's Mga Buhay Na Apoy, still running at the CCP Little Theater for 2 more weekends (Oct 16-18, 23-25). For tickets and information, call Tanghalang Pilipino at 09178763678 / 09273629081.

Tanghalang Pilipino's Mga Buhay na Apoy, by Kanakan Balintagos

Tuesday of last week, I got to attend the press launch of Tanghalang Pilipino's Mga Buhay na Apoy. It's been a while since I got back into blogging theater events, and this was a good comeback opportunity.

Prior to showing an excerpt of the play, TP President Mr. Jolly Gomez gave a few opening remarks. Part of Tanghalang Pilipino's mission is to develop Philippine theater and raise awareness to the youth about social realities through artistic expression, and they do so not just in Metro Manila, but all over the country. In line with this press launch, they had invited a lot of people who maximize the use of social media, which includes online publications, and even bloggers like me. Sir Jolly had mentioned that these people are always on their gadgets (mobile phones, computers, tablets, etc.), looking down on screens, locked into social media. And it wouldn't hurt for them to just put down their screens even just for a couple of hours, and watch actual people perform right in front of them.

Wow, that makes so much sense. Through these people, after giving time to just do that, can be a very good voice of Philippine theater as they continue to promote the arts through their online publications, website, blogs, and all other types of social media. What a truly inspiring message.

TP's Artistic Director Nanding Josef also added that the celebration of National Indigenous Peoples Month is in October, which was perfect for this particular play.

I have to say, I'm personally looking forward to this, as I have Palawan roots on my father's side.

In Tanghalang Pilipino(TP)'s MGA BUHAY NA APOY, a Manila-based family comes face to face with the harsh reality of extremely strained relationships resulting from the cowardly denial of some painful truth about their past and from the utter disregard for their glorious indigenous Palawan cultural roots and spiritual traditions.

Kanakan Balintagos' stage play MGA BUHAY NA APOY, Tanghalang Pilipino's second offering for its 29th Theater Season is not just about the healing of the shattered relationships between a mother and her children in one specific Filipino family broken apart by domestic filial conflicts.

MGA BUHAY NA APOY theatricalizes the inevitable destruction, not only of the basic family unit, but of an entire human society that has been relentlessly ignoring its primary responsibility of caring for its earthly beginnings--the natural resources, the endemic inhabitants of ancestral lands, the intangible cultures of the indigenous peoples, the unseen spirits that take care of the air, land and sea, the ancient human values that have timeless relevance, that are all needed to save, not just one mother or one family, but beloved Mother Earth.

The ensemble is a strong group of reliable, exceptionally talented artists led by Ms. Irma Adlawan, one of Philippine Theater's best, Peewee O'hara, Malou Crisologo, Carol Bello, Russell Legaspi, Karen Gaerlan, Raymond Dimayuga, PHSA's Kyrie Samodio, and Tanghalang Pilipino's Actors Company members Jonathan Tadioan, Doray Dayao, and Lhorvie Nuevo.

The artistic team is made up of Production designer Architect Paulo Alcazaren, Lighting designer Dennis Marasigan, Costume designer James Reyes, Music composer Diwa de Leon and Dramaturg Ericka Estacio.

MGA BUHAY NA APOY opens on October 2, 2015 and will run until October 25, 2015 at the Tanghalang Aurelio Tolentino of the Cultural Center of the Philippines. For tickets and information, call 09178763678 / 09273629081 (Marketing and Sales Department).

Dramatis Personal: JV Ibesate.

Jan Vincent Ibesate, commonly known as JV, has been with the Tanghalang Pilipino Actors Company for about 2 and a half years, and is also the acting coordinator for the AC. His most recent production with TP was Mabining Mandirigma, essaying the role of the illustrado Pedro Paterno. I lucked out swinging by the TP office during his downtime for a little chat.

How long have you been with the Actors Company?

Since 2013, so roughly a little over 2 years.

When did you start acting?

Non-professional acting, I started high school days pa lang, when you discover that you have a knack for acting. But when I wanted to become an actor, college sa UP.

So what made you decide to act?

I don't know. It came out naturally. Natatawa ako kasi I never thought of it as a profession. Pero yung recollection ko nung bata pa lang ako, I would put curtains on top of our beds, tapos kunwari stage siya, but I didn't know back then that it was already a sign that I already wanted to become an actor. Ngayon lang, na parang feeling ko na it's a profession talaga.

What were your previous theater experiences before becoming part of AC?

Before becoming an AC scholar, I was already doing theater sa iba't ibang companies, pero medyo madalang lang, kasi meron akong corporate job. But I did productions for maliliit na companies lang.

You said before that you had a corporate job. Paano mo na-balance yun before?

Matagal-tagal na pakiusapan sa boss. (laughs) I started doing part time theater when I moved from one company to another (Globe). When I moved to Globe, luckily they also practiced work-life balance. So when I said that I wanted to pursue while doing the work, they automatically said yes. So what happened was they gave me a work schedule that will fit the rehearsal schedule. So like for example, I come in at work at 7am, I leave at 4pm so I can be at the rehearsal space by 6pm.

Hindi ka naman nangangarag?

Medyo. There was a time na napagsabay ko yung corporate job at yung AC. Sakin, what happened was I told them that I got a scholarship tapos that I have to take classes from 1pm until 10pm. So what they did, yung boss ko, as long as I complete the 40 hours--I can come to work at 6am, I can leave at 12nn--so I can get to class. But hindi siya healthy eh. It only lasted siguro 6 months, after that, burned out na talaga.

What made you decide to try out for Actors Company?

Meron akong isang production before, Livin' La Vida Imelda. It was a show by Carlos Celdran. One of my co-actors there, si Andrew Cruz, was an Actors Company scholar. Pero batch 90's pa siya. I was already asking him what was it like na maging AC. Tapos kasi nung time nila, I think sobrang hirap yata talaga nung process, na you never get casted kaagad. So meron siyang mga horror stories, tapos sabi ko, "Oh my God, baka hindi ako pang Actors Company." But then I also met other former AC people, nakatrabaho ko before. And sabi nila, parang nagbago na. So nagkaroon ng auditions ng AC, I tried. And I got in.

In your opinion, what does it take to be part of the Actors Company?

What's good about AC is that they don't require you to be a great actor kaagad. I think what they wanted to see from you is your ability to learn. Kasi I think a good actor is the one who learns, who wants to learn more.  Otherwise, wag ka na mag-AC. Mag-professional actor ka na, mag-freelance ka na, kasi you can get roles naman. You can pass auditions. But I think, kami sa batch namin, we all have our strengths, we all have our weaknesses. And I think what they saw from us are opportunities for us to learn to become better actors, so when we got in, it’s not like, "Uy, ang galling ko, nakapasok ako sa AC." Ang naisip ko agad nun, baka they saw me as someone who can practically learn more from what they will be able to teach us, na hopefully na mai-apply sa mga next productions.

You get lots of training and classes in acting, movement, voice, etc. Do you have a favorite class among those?

I know that I can sing long before I know that I can act. Parang bata pa lang ako, that's always been the talent na alam kong meron ako. So yung voice class namin. If it's Wednesday, sobrang gaan siyang feeling sakin, kasi alam ko na that's one of my strengths. Tapos OK rin kasi yung voice teacher namin eh. And meron akong ibang points for improvement na nakukuha ko, na nai-improve ko because of the class. So ayun, voice class talaga.

Can you describe a typical day as an AC scholar?

Even if there's a show, we still have classes. Not unless it's tech week, kasi pag tech week diba, it's 1-10pm. But if it's a regular day na nagre-rehearse for a show, we have classes from 1-5pm, and then we have break from 5-6pm, and then rehearsal from 6-10pm.

Other than your classes, shows, rehearsals, what else do you do?

Kasi we all know naman that the pay in theater is not that big. Actually, very true for us, kasi we don't really get sweldo unless we have a show. Allowance lang, which is very maliit talaga. So what I do, since ang background ko sa corporate ay PR (public relations), I write. I'm connected now with an events company, so I write for events, I conceptualize, I pitch in events for them. So actually full time theater actor but official source of income ko ay yung events company. (laughs)

At least you have something to fall back on.

Yeah. Kasi parang for you to stay in AC, you have to have backup financial resources. Marami nang umalis na AC, because of finances.

Do you think that the starving artist is the most common misconception people have about actors, or meron pang iba?

Sakin kasi, there's no such thing as a starving artist. You only starve when you're tamad. Kasi like for example, me, if I don't get any productions, I'd go to something that I'm capable of doing and earning from it. And if you're really a great actor, you can find ways, you can audition for as many roles as you can. You can audition for as many productions as you can. Kasi for me, yung concept na "Uy, magugutom ka diyan"--it doesn’t make sense kasi. Kung masipag ka, kung madiskarte ka, you won't starve.

You mentioned you all have your strengths and weaknesses. For you, what's your core gift, or X-factor, that you believe is a good asset as part of the Actors Company?

Nagkakaroon kasi kami ng evaluations every year. And I think it's really voice talaga for me. But it's far from being excellent, pero at least I think that’s what got me in AC. So the others are syempre for improvement pa.

What’s your favorite production so far?

I think Sandosenang Sapatos. That was my very first TP production, and parang ano siya sakin eh, biglang suntok. Kasi the first day of rehearsal, music rehearsal yun, so ok, Sandosenang Sapatos, ni-brief na kami about the story and all that. Ang unang tanong sakin ni Sir Tuxqs, nilapitan niya ako, "Hi JV, welcome to AC. Marunong kang mag roller blades?" Sabi ko, "Sir, pwedeng matutunan." It took a lot of perseverance, it took a lot of guts for me to learn it. Parang it’s one of the hardest na productions. It may look, "Aw, cute, naka-rollerblades sila." But it's really the process itself. Every night umiiyak ako, the first few weeks.

But you pulled off a really good show.

I think the people saw how hard the production is and how bigay na bigay yung actors, kasi nga we went through a lot for that. Ako, seryoso talaga, umiiyak talaga ako gabi-gabi, parang iniisip ko, pwede naman akong mag corporate na lang. Bakit pinapipilitan ko ang sarili ko mag rollerblades?

What's your favorite character that you’ve done?

I'm not sure if you’ve watched Melanie. It's a commissioned work from UNICEF. It's about the spread of HIV and AIDS. Yung character ko dun, sobrang for me, pinaka-real life sa lahat ng ginawa ko. Yung ibang characters ko parang hindi naman siya normal. (laughs) Walang ka-normal normal. Yun lang talaga, na baklang dancer na malibog na nakakuha ng AIDS. Ang daling hugutan ng emosyon kasi alam mong totoo yung character mo.

What's the most challenging role you've done?

Kama. La Ronde. Recital. First time kong na-feel sa sarili ko na ang tanga-tanga ko as an actor. May way si Sir Dennis (Marasigan) eh. He will make you feel like meron siyang hinahanap sa iyo eh, na up until the the show itself, mararamdam mo na, parang hindi ko yata nabibigay sa kanya yung gusto niya. Ang ganda kasi ng process. Alam mo naman yung process ni Sir Dennis, diba? He won't give you the role unless it's a few days before the show. So it's one of the most challenging kasi apart from memorizing... Actually siya yung may pinakamaraming linya. Tapos meron pa siyang monologue dun na one page. Yung role ko kasi dun, count, yung konde, the last one. Meron siyang monologue na pagkahaba-haba.  So apart from memorizing the lines, it's really getting into the character, na buti na lang si Sir Dennis was able to... alam mo naman yun eh, objective, and then the rule of three... It helps. Pero up until the TDR, feeling ko talaga, parang walang nangyari sa two years ko ah, ang bobo-bobo ko as an actor. Kasi I think it's just his way of making you feel na hindi na hindi ka makampante sa role mo. So it was really challenging. Isa yun sa mga iniyakan kong role. Kami ni Aldo (Vencilao) yung favorite niya nung time na yun. Pero that's his way eh. I mean, he knows how to make you do better. Medyo harsh, pero at least you learn.

With what you’ve accomplished so far, where do you see yourself as an artist in the next 5 years?

Ang immediate goal ko is to reach until I become a member of the company. Not just because it's a tenure thing. But because I think from what I saw, the past members of AC, kahit si Tad (Jonathan Tadioan), sobrang hands down ako na kahit ano na role na ibigay mo sa kanila, they can do justice with the role, so I want to be in that stature. Kasi as it is now, pahirapan pa eh, mahirap pang pumick-up ng role. I think gusto ko na maabot ang status na yun, like yung status ni Mayen (Estanero), yung status ni Bong Cabrera, yung status ni Angeli (Bayani). If they're given a role, they automatically give the best performance. So feeling ko, immediately, yun yung gusto ko marating. Tapos technically it will take you a minimum of 5 years eh. So up until that time comes, yun talaga, mag-stay ako sa AC. But apart from that, honestly I don't know. After becoming a member, wala pa.

Now for something different. Think of one thing that would best represent you in each of the 5 senses.

Smell:

Alcogel. (laughs) Neat freak kasi ako minsan,tsaka gusto ko palaging mabango, for some reason. Oo, kilala yan, tanungin mo sa lahat ng AC.

Touch:

Carpet. Yung fluffy na carpet. Kasi I like things soft.

Taste:

Yung seafood kare-kare ng Kanin Club. Kasi pag natikman mo siya, wala ka nang hahanapin pa. (laughs)

Hearing/Sound:

Lahat ng kanta ng The Corrs. Kasi kahit stressful ang araw mo, pag narinig mo yung mga kanta nila, parang OK, masaya. OK lang, diba? Iba yung feeling. Lalo na yung "Paddy McCarthy." It doesn't have lyrics, but every time I listen to it, parang ang sarap maging Irish, no? May distinct sound siya.

Sight:

CCP. The façade ng CCP. Kasi iba yung feeling that it gives you whenever you look at it. Gusto ko lang i-share na hanggang ngayon, nandun ako sa phase na... Naglalakad lang kasi ako from LRT, minsan from Harrison, papuntang CCP. Alam mo yung kinikilig ka pa rin? Oh my God, andito na ako, eto na siya eh. Parang si Doray (Dayao) kasi dati, AC apprentice, sabi niya dati dinadaanan niya yung CCP, tapos iniisip niya, ano kaya yung feeling na magtrabaho diyan? Tapos ngayon na nagtatrabaho na siya, iba yung feeling. Ganun din sakin, kasi parang kinikilig ka pa rin na parang, totoo ba ito? Andito na ba talaga ako?

What’s the best advice that you’ve ever received?

The best advice that I received was from a former boss, yung boss ko sa Globe. Before I left, sabi niya, "I admire you for doing something that you really love. But just make sure that you have a backup. Or at least an additional source of income. Kasi hindi mo kailangang maghirap at hindi mo kailangang mamalimos para lang magawa mo yung bagay na gusto mo. So kung gusto mo talaga yan gawin," –and I still live with that statement—"na kung gusto mo talaga ang isang bagay at alam mong hindi ka kikita sa kanya, maghanap ka ng ibang way para matuloy mo siya."

What’s the best advice that you can give?

Cliché pero… If you know that you're good at something, regardless of the risk, go for it. Kasi you may not have the comforts when you follow through that dream, pero at least you know in your heart that you're doing something that you love and that you're in the right direction. Kasi I've seen a lot of people, even my former boss, he was a frustrated musician, and he's already old, he’s rich, but wala nang avenue for him to practice that. And so I saw from a very important lesson na if you really want something and if you're really passionate about something, start young. Start when you still have the energy. The future may not be as bright as what you hope it will be, but at least you're doing it. I mean, maano bang maghirap ka ng konti? At the end of the day, makukuha mo rin naman siya, if you're really passionate.

*Photos courtesy of JV's Facebook page and Erickson Dela Cruz.