Look back at 2011, then move forward.

Finally, my annual year-ender blog post. Hope you guys have a happy new year!

January

At the beginning of the year, I was missing the company of a good close friend, who kind of decided to lie low due to certain brooding issues, but considering she has her own personal reasons, I accepted it and let things blow over in time.

Speaking of friends, this was also the time when I trekked all the way to the north just to see Carmie, Jay and baby Evan. Had lunch at their house, hung out, had a bunch of laughs and bonding.

When it came to performances, I got to go to the Orosman at Zafira press conference at SM Mall of Asia, and even got to meet and have lunch with the regular bloggers in the theater scene. I also got to watch TP Actors Company's Anatomiya ng Korupsyon for a second time (the first was in December of the previous year), and sat through it with Riki and Russ up in the gallery of Batute.

I also started a small tradition for myself, which I called "Sunday Solitaire." I love spending a quite time alone with coffee or tea and a good book, at any random coffee shop that I end up in.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Life really just happens. May mga dumarating at may mga nawawala. Yun lang.

- I guess kailangan may mawala para may ibang dumating, at para magkaroon ka ng mas maraming panahon para sa sarili mo.

February

This was my "merely watching" month. Declined being front-of-house head for the rerun of 9Works' Rent and passed the baton to my minions, haha. Kicked off the month by attending the annual CCP Pasinaya with Nikki and newbies Erik and Marj. Hahaha, the latter two enjoyed the festivities so much that Erik wanted to register early for the next Pasinaya. Also got to watch most of the monologues in Monodrama Manila, which included some monologues that I've already seen before by a couple of friends.

I also got to have a 2-play marathon in one day this month, watching DUP's Orosman at Zafira in SM Mall of Asia in the afteroon, and Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah (with a new Didi!) in the evening. The following weekend, I went to PETA to watch another "baklaan" play of the month, Caredivas. It's so funny watching your old flames play gay roles onstage. Nice to know how confident they are of their sexuality.

As for Valentine's Day, I got a spur-of-the-moment invite to hang out with a very close friend. Had a blast just hanging out, like any other normal day.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "We both select from life what pleases us." (Man of La Mancha)

- "I miss the man who treats me like Dulcinea." (Reg)

March

Was busy this month due to Kimberly and Johnson rehearsals every evening. It kinda wore me down, not because of the work, but because of precious time that always get wasted. I mean, you give a call time, and people come in an hour later. I understand that they're students, but if they're really committed to something, they really should do something about that.

Oh, and good news at work arrived this month. I finally got regularized at CVG!

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- My probationary period is over. I'm finally regularized!

- It would be a good excuse to travel and meet new people as well.

April

The beginning of the month was marked with stage managing 3 events in CSB, all one week after the other, and with me getting sick in the process to the point of losing my voice completely by the second event. But I survived, and I'm darn proud of it.

We also began workshops at TP this month. Once again, I signed up for the Rehearsal and Performance Techniques class, and Sir Dennis was back as facilitator, with Rayna as his assistant teacher. I was told that I was merely a late bloomer when it comes to acting, hence the reason for resorting to backstage work (but hey, it's also a passion of mine, so I'm not one to complain). Our class tackled Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest, and my bouts of low self-esteem was dismissed through the encouragement of my facilitators and co-workshoppers.

A bit of drama occurred at the beginning of the week as well. It drove a couple of us kind of crazy, considering I only got to hear mostly one side, while the other side was practically ignoring me, or was avoiding the topic whenever we try to talk about it. Plus it pissed me off at how certain people can stick their nose in other people's business as if they can save the world. Please, I know you're trying to be a friend, but it helps even more if you mind your own business. Anyway, regarding the issue, I had to learn to deal with it, even though I didn't really like any ideas pertaining to the drama. Oh well.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "Ikaw lang ba dapat ang maging considerate as a friend?" (Iam)

- What came over you and suddenly asked a random question to start a conversation like that? Hahaha. I actually missed you.

May

One of the most significant things that happened this month was our recital for Rehearsal and Performance Techniques, Ang Halaga ng Pagiging Masigasig, Sir Dennis' own translation of The Importance of Being Earnest. All the simple advice we heard all year came back on that day. Learn and unlearn. Just dive right in. Sink or swim. Don't think too much about the script and do your best. And we did. I have to say, it was the first time I had so much energy right from the beginning of the play (which Sir D told me to maintain), and I felt such a high after exiting from my first scene. I was still on a high after the show (no matter how crazy our ending turned out), and encouraging words from our facilitators made me so giddy.

Then of course, the other significant event of the month was the Cebu Blog Camp! Went to Cebu by my lonesome, without knowing anyone (except for Hendri), and spent 4 and a half days of fun with all these bloggers. During the actual blog camp, everyone thought I was so prim and proper in my dress, all quiet and taking notes during every talk. They got to know the real me during the next couple of days, which was jampacked with road trips, food, "mind games," videoke, and lots of bonding with new friends.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Me: Handa na ba ako for something cold [to drink]? -Erik: ... like my heart.

- I realize that I still think too much. I guess it's the Sagittarian in me. But then again, it's also still just me.

- My goodness, I'm finally going to Cebu, hahaha!

- Dive in. Don't overthink.

- "Bloggers blog for themselves and not for an audience." (Estan Cabigas)

June

Noli Me Tangere rehearsals began this month. It was kinda crazy, because we had to deal with a new venue outside of the CCP building that wasn't really well-ventilated (we had to bring lots of huge industrial fans in). I spent more time at work (both in the office and in rehearsals) than I did at home. Days at home were only for sleeping and bathing, and caught up on more hours of sleep during the time between shifts in the office and rehearsals. I called it my baptism of fire, because it was my first professional stage management job after my last one 5 years ago. I was pretty rusty, but I had to relearn real quick. I was too busy at work that I was blogging less, which was one of the few downsides.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Speaking of work, today marks exactly one year since I started working part-time at CVG.

- I just realized that the last time I posted a blog about what I'm really thinking and feeling felt like 3 lifetimes ago.

- "I kept him around, not because I thought he was The One, but because he was Someone at a time when I was afraid there might be No One. But Someone isn't good enough anymore. Especially now that I know that being with no one can be cool too." (Passport Diaries)

July

Noli rehearsals continue, but we finally moved back to the CCP Conference Room this month. Finally, a room (that's air conditioned, no less) that I feel at home in. Still busy at ever while juggling both my jobs, I found less time for myself. Though I did manage to catch some of the Virgin Labfest sets, I still didn't have enough time to just hibernate. Except, of course, during that one Saturday night with Lara Mae, Lara and Roan. I haven't had a ladies night in ages, and thank goodness they were there.

Blog's quotable quote of the month:

- A few bites and a bunch of pitchers of drinks, and a whole lot of chatter and laughs at Dencio's made up for the time I didn't get to join those ladies' nights. I love these girls to bits.

August

This month was the entire run of TP's Noli Me Tangere. I was relieved that we finally opened, so I don't really have to worry much about other things. I had more time for myself, as I only had work in the office on weekday mornings, then focused on the show during the weekends. Despite certain mishaps and glitches, we still managed to pull it off.

Blog's quotable quote of the month:

- "Bakit parang umiiyak ka?" "Hindi ah. Pagod lang ako."

September

After Noli's run during the past month, we got to have an extra weekend during this month, so the book wasn't really closed after its final weekend in August. We only had a weekend of rest in between. That's when we had our callback auditions for TP's next (supposed) production, D' Emperor.

I was still trying to revive my blogging habits, but I guess I failed on that this month. Though I still did manage to blog about attending a Visrint event at SMX, just because of the fact that Carlo Vergara, the creator of "Zsazsa Zaturnnah," was there, hahaha.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Was I just dreaming? What it just something in my subconscious? Something that I wanted to hear? Or could if be that you actually said what I thought you said?

- "First be clear, then be clever." (Paolo Fabregas)

- "Kaya ka nagsusulat, dahil gusto mong magpaintindi." (Eros Atalia)

- "There's a difference between 'Magaling ako' and 'Mas magaling ako sa kanya'." (Kajo Baldisimo)

October

I started having symptoms of cubital tunnel syndrome this month. It was due to bad posture while I was at work, as well as excessive bending at the elbow. At first I brushed it off, but when the feeling was more frequent, I had to go to the doctor to get some medication for the inflamed nerve. Thank goodness I went before it got worse.

D' Emperor rehearsals began this month, and working with the cast and the rest of the crew was pretty fun.

Stomp came to Manila this year, and thanks to Paulo, I got to watch them on their closing day. My goodness, this group is A-mazing. Ever since I've first heard of them ages ago, I've always wanted to do something like that. I wonder if they'll ever hold auditions internationally. As in here in Manila, hahaha!

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- I know you have these weird rules about not going back to the way things were, but can't we just please simply put a label on it? To hell with your nonsense rules.

- I guess we also should appreciate the simple things.

November

Due to certain circumstances, D' Emperor got cancelled and was moved to next season's lineup, much to our disappointment. Too bad. But at least TP managed to find a backup for the free slot in the theater.

Our house underwent some renovations this month, including a minor part of my room (well, just the windows, really). I really liked how it turned out. The only downside of it was that because of the roofing outside, my room got darker, so I have my lights on more often.

Because of the show cancellation, I got to attend Lesley and Pipo's wedding! It was a beautiful ceremony, and got to hang out with awesome friends both old and new while seated at Table 26 (the best and craziest table) at the reception. A spur-of-the-moment sleepover at the hotel led to a wonderful bonding session with fellow Barbies. One awesome sleepover, I should say.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "Utakan na pagdating sa pag-ibig."

- I should learn to stop over-analyzing and overreacting.

- Attending this fairy tale wedding made me believe in love again. I just know there's someone out there for me.

December

After almost 11 months, I got to see Carms again this month. We hung out with Evan (and nnanny Lisa) at the Promenade in Greenhills from afternoon until the evening, just talking and talking the whole time, punctuated by Evan's bouts of cuteness. I just love these two to bits. Plus Carms told me about something I could do for his dad's show. Oh dear, I sure hope that opens up in 2012! Please! Hahaha!

Another little reunion this month was with Maika, whom I haven't seen in 4 years. We'll be planning a MaGANGda reunion for 2012, and I'm hoping it really will happen this time.

Biological milestone this year. I turned 30! If last year's birthday was a disaster, this year was pretty simple, yet good. Good stats at work in the morning, then I attended Carlos Celdran's Imelda tour in CCP. I like it that way. No craziness, just a normal day with a little extra.

There were a couple of brooding episodes this month, and the latter one is still happening right now. To you, I don't really want to start 2012 on a bad note with you, but I'll leave you alone for now. Hope we'll be OK when the new year comes in.

Lara did another card reading for me at the beginning of the year.

JUDGMENT

You're more free to make decisions and are transforming. You take account your past actions and know better. By revaluating and reviving, you drop your old values to embrace new ones. Accept things the way they are.

Make choices without blaming others or yourself. You have a new insight into how you handle your relationships. It is fine to shrug your shoulders and think "What's the point?" This is your chance to start afresh, let go of the past and stop feeling guilty for your actions.

Now that I think about it, I have to say that it's amazing how Lara does it. This year had a lot of changes, and I welcomed them without second thoughts. True, there were times when I analyze things too much (especially during those times of drama), but as I look back, I remember just barreling through and stop trying to please other people.

I got a new card reading from Lara. I'll reveal it when the new year comes in.

Like I said (on Facebook and on Twitter), lessons have been learned. I've gained some and lost some. It happens. It's life. It's time to move onward to 2012. Have a happy new year, everyone! Stay safe!

My 3-0 day.

So how was everyone's Christmas?

I haven't posted in a while again, and to think that I've hit a pretty nice biological milestone this month. Yup, I've hit the big 3-0 on the 16th. I really had nothing special planned on my birthday, as I wasn't really feeling that optimistic. I guess it was because I didn't really enjoy my birthday last year. Anyway, things were pretty OK on my birthday this year, thankfully.

After work, I headed to CCP to attend Carlos Celdran's "Livin' La Vida Imelda" tour. I've always seen him around CCP while conducting the tour, and it's about time to catch the entire thing.

The CCP Christmas party was in full swing at the Little Theater when I arrived. Jelson was at the entrance as one of the hosts, interviewing people as they entered the theater, while Tad was inside, as the other part of the hosting tandem. After a quick stop at the prop room, I hung around the LT lobby, just people watching while waiting for the tour to begin. Carlos was about half an hour late due to the crazy traffic, but we didn't really mind. Once the tour began, we were all wrapped in the story of Imelda, full of romance (well, men), humor and of course, intrigue. If history classes were this fun and interesting to listen to, I would've paid more attention to it back in school. Carlos took us from the LT lobby, to the Silangan Hall, the Main Gallery, the Main Theater (places and venues that are all too familiar for me) and back to the LT lobby while telling different parts of Imelda's life.

For the next leg of the tour, we rode in orange shuttles (hired for the tour) to the PICC. Because I was the only one there who went alone, I was snapping photos of everything but myself (like a lone tourist, haha). This family noticed and smiled at me while we were aboard the jeep, and the dad offered to take my photo for me. I politely declined, but then the dad asked if he could take my photo using his own camera. I gamely posed, and after he had snapped the photo, the guy asked me if I was a model, because he said that I looked like one. Best compliment ever! Happy birthday to me! Hahahaha!

Anyway, onward to PICC. Most of the tales were once again told in the various places of the PICC, giving us good views of the Coconut Palace and the Film Center. The venue I liked the most was the Delegates Lounge. You sure could party back then in that room.

We ended the tour on the lawn fronting the PICC before settling the fees back at the entrance. Of course, I couldn't resist having a photo op with Carlos, even though we already had a photo together at one of last year's Intramuros tours.

Walked back to CCP to pick up the stuff I dropped off in the prop room, and I received a dainty little gift while I was there. Thank you so much!

I enjoyed the simplicity of how my birthday went this year. Thank you so much for that day.

2012 is right around the corner. I have to prep for my traditional year-end blog post.

Meeting up with Carmie and Evan.

I haven't seen Carmella in almost a year, so we decided to meet up this past Tuesday afternoon in Greenhills. Jay couldn't make it because he had to work, but I'm so glad Evan was there (so his yaya Lisa was also there in tow), despite the crazy Christmas shopping crowd.

Met up with them in Starbucks Promenade, and Carmie didn't notice me at first because of my really short hair. So yeah, my hair was already short to begin with the last time we saw each other, but this was already shorter than that. Hahaha, it was great seeing her again. For a mom, she doesn't really look like it, even though she keeps saying she got fatter. Anyway, Evan was asleep when they had arrived, so we stepped outside the coffee shop so we can talk, just the two of us. I love these rare bonding times that we get to have. She's the type of friend that you can easily talk to, and catch up with as if you only saw each other yesterday (minus the salisi moment we had earlier, haha!) So updates galore on each other, what she's been doing, how the people she knew in theater are different now, all that schtuff.

Evan was awake when we got back inside, so we got to play with him a little. He showed us a little dance to one of the songs that Carms played on her phone, and he was super adorable! One hilarious moment with Carmie, by the way, was when she told me about a pair of sandals that she saw while they were shopping earlier, and she called Jay to tell him about it...after mentioning that she saved a lot while shopping for other presents, hahaha!

We went inside the mall for a while and just hung around the food court, eating taho (I had no idea that almond syrup on taho was yummy) and talking more. Deeper conversations, true confessions, relationships, and even a bit of gratitude to the good friend that helped us cross each other's paths to become friends. I love you, baby bro, for introducing me to Carms. I love her to bits like a sister I've never had.

We went around a bit more in the Shoppesville area and Carms bought some baking stuff in Gourdo's for her sister Iza. Then she decided to head back to the store where she found those sandals that she mentioned. She started trying on different shoes, while I got to browse through their clothes (I have my eye on a few items, so I'm definitely going back there), until finally settling on a pair of shoes.

Because I was waiting for the rush hour traffic to subside, we had dinner at Peri-Peri, our final stop for the evening. Carms then mentioned about her dad's show that airs on Net 25 every Sunday. I haven't seen an episode of it, but now that Carms had mentioned it, I got even more curious. Then she suggested that I try working there as an FD. Oh my oh my, I really want to! But I still have commitments until mid-February. Oh please, can I please work there after this? Hahaha!

When it was finally time to call it a day (Evan had already fallen asleep), they dropped me off at Edsa and I managed to get a ride home from there.

Too bad I didn't have my camera then. Though Carms did snap a photo of the three of us. Will wait for her to upload it so I can repost it.

It was great seeing good old friends like Carmie. I sure hope we get to see each other more often. Love you, Carms!

Hello, first December blog post.

Well, hello there, blog. I haven't touched you in quite a while again. So here I go again, with another random update. My goodness, I haven't been blogging like I used to before. Most updates, even rants and raves, have now reverted to short posts on Twitter. Yes, this is why I didn't want to have Twitter in the first place. But well, I can't really help it, can I?

My goodness, it's a Saturday in December, and I just realized that I'm turning the big 3-0 in less than a week. Wow, a biological milestone. Looking back, what have I accomplished in my younger years? And here I am, with a part-time job in a call center, one thing that I didn't even imagine myself doing. But at least I still somewhat practice what I really love doing. True, there are still a lot of idle times, waiting for things to happen. Hopefully I'd be able to remedy that in the following year to come.

I'm so glad to be seeing good old friends again these first few days of December. During last Sunday's Little Mermaid shows in Meralco, I got to see lots of familiar faces, including my baby bro Nicco, and BFF's Carlo and Micah, and even EmJ as well.

Yesterday was one of the best. After several years, I finally saw Maika again. I remember during the times when we were super close, we would meet up after class almost everyday, and just hang out. When she went off to college in the north, I never got to see her, up to the point that I had to record a video of me with a bunch of our friends, just so I can make up to not attending her debut birthday party. So anyway, we were supposed to have a reunion with the rest of our other friends, but we decided to reschedule it to January, and just meet up to hang out and catch up. A long lunch at Teriyaki Boy in Trinoma, all while talking nonstop, was one of the well-spent afternoons I've had in ages.

There's a mystery texter who's been sending me messages since Sunday. I have a huge suspicion as to who it is, but we'll see if I can uncover who it really is soon.

Lesley and Pipo's wedding.

Lesley and Pipo finally tied the knot last Friday. Was glad and flattered to be able to witness their special day. Due to the fact that I had no rehearsals to attend (because D' Emperor got cancelled and was moved to next season), I was able to make it to the actual wedding instead of just the reception.

Cabbed it all the way to the church in my dress, forgetting to bring extra clothes in case I had to commute home late. I easily found Lara outside the church with the rest of the entourage. I loved the colorful motif, hues of blues and purples (and bronze, I think). So thanks to the dress my aunt gave me during her last visit, my royal blue cocktail dress fit right in. Found Rieszel with her boyfriend once I got inside the church, and hung out with them for a while as there was still an ongoing mass before the wedding. After a while, I found Sean and Roan, then Roan and I finally decided to sit down, with Sean sitting one pew behind us so he can sit next to a fan.

I have to say, this is the first wedding I went to where every member of the entourage got applauded by all the attendees. Plus Sophie looked sooo adorable in her fairy flower girl dress, complete with wings! And I love love love Nina's dress as maid of honor. Good choice of bridal march for Lesley, as they played "Only Hope" while she walked down the aisle. I was afraid to take a blurry photo while she walked, so I decided to take a video instead, hahaha. The bride was gorgeous. Lesley had said later that she was crying, but she was still beautiful the whole time.

I saw a few acquaintances in the wedding. Bing, a classmate from college was there, as well as Sheila (high school classmate) and her sister Bertha (Playshop classmate). I didn't realize until after a while that Sheila and Bertha are related to Pipo until I thought about their surnames, hahaha.

Took a cab to Manila Hotel with Roan, Sean and Gio for the reception. I love that we were all put in the same table along with Lara, Micko, Athena, Andro, Dana and Astarte (who came pretty late but managed to catch up). Table 26. The craziest table. We started to believe that we were put in the corner for a reason, hahaha! There was no topic that we didn't crack up or whatever. I love this crowd. We even hogged the photo booth for a while, plus the dance floor until the whole party was over.

Still wired, we headed to the Tap room after the reception for cake and drinks. Athena, Andro and Dana had to go though, but the rest of us still stayed. Talked about typecasting, wedding motifs, and drag queens, hahaha!

Nina had insisted that we sleep over in the hotel with her, and Lara had decided to stay as well. Roan was fine with it, and considering it's not really safe for me to commute at that hour in that dress (blame it on my forgetfulness for not bringing commuting clothes), I agreed to stay as well. Nina and I ended up wearing the hotel bathrobes to bed, as Lara and Roan had their own extra clothes. After a little freshening up and chatting, we eventually fell asleep at around 3 or 4 in the morning, with Lara, Nina and me on the bed, and Roan on the divan.

Woke up to Nina's phone's message alert tone during mid-morning, as I was the one on the bed nearest the side table, where Nina had placed her phone. Ended up just talking the hours away all morning, while eating whatever we could find inside the suite. Conversations galore over fruits, chocolate, coffee and tea before we took turns prepping up in the bathroom. Thank goodness we were allowed to stay an extra hour, as Nina wanted to enjoy the bathtub, hahaha. Lara and I even had time to drop by Lesley and Pipo's room to get cupcakes.

I had a blast spending the evening until the following morning with these friends. I miss girl bonding like this. Sure hope there'd be more, and I sure hope I get to spend more times like these with my two best friends (when Iam comes back from Poland).

And attending this fairy tale wedding made me believe in love again. I just know there's someone out there for me. =)

A little update.

I should learn to stop over-analyzing and overreacting. Just like in my previous post. Apparently it was no biggie. Thank goodness for that.

In other news, we're been rehearsing for D' Emperor for a few weeks now. I guess things are shaping up, albeit slowly, and there are still a bunch of things that are yet to be revamped. But at least we now have a complete cast (hahaha), complete with eye candy for those who would want to watch this in January (plus one weekend in February).

Oh yeah, I had finally jumped on the Twitter bandwagon. I didn't give in to the ages of prodding by Peachy and Tin, though. The primary reason was to follow a couple of YouTubers that I'm a big fan of. If you want to follow me, you're smart enough to know my username (as I only go by 2 usernames online). I didn't really broadcast my Twitter account as I had already put quite some rants and raves that I don't like to put as shout outs on my Facebook wall.

Because of certain renovations in our house, I've moved from my own current bedroom back to my old room (from over a decade ago), when they started changing my bedroom windows. Considering my old room has an air conditioner and my current room doesn't, even now that the windows have been finished, I still haven't moved back, hahaha. Anyway, my mom took this as an advantage to temporarily move all the kitchen stuff to my current room while the kitchen is currently being re-tiled. I actually love all the revamps in and around the house lately. They started with the annex in the back of our house, extending it with an extra room to serve as a library for our old books and encyclopedias (yes, we had a lot of those when I was a kid), then they also turned the side of our house into a decent receiving area where we could put our old upright piano, and it now looks like a beautiful extension of our living room. The floor in the back of our house is now cemented and replaced with decent flooring, and the current pending revamps are just in the kitchen (re-tiling), and putting a little roof (something that looks like a canopy) over the steps leading to our front door.

Speaking of revamps, I've been keeping my hair short for over a year now, after always sporting long hair for over a decade. Later this week, I'm planning to have an even shorter cut (a pixie cut, no less), just to see how it looks and feels like on me. If I like it, good. If it's not really for me, it will always grow back.

A little break from that blogging, how about a couple of quotable quotes?

During rehearsal of D' Emperor, Riki was facilitating a script reading of a scene between one character and the two con men (of the classic Emperor's New Clothes fame).

Riki: Bulaklak niya ang titirahin niyo. (Pertaining to the character's flowery words).

Hahahahaha!

During an early morning shift in the office, I keep getting refusals.

Me (in between calls): Bakit binababaan nila ako?

Nina (from the station next to me): Eh kaysa naman taasan ka nila.

Ahehehe, good point. So in turn...

Me (after a few more refusals): Wag niyo akong bababaan. Tataasan ko kayo.

Now it sounded corny coming from me.

Just yesterday after rehearsal, Minay, Martha, Tamtam and I ended up at KFC, though only Minay and I were the only ones who ate. I was happily chowing down on my Kung Pao bowl, when Martha said, "Sarap na sarap si Hogi sa kinakain niya."

Hahaha, it seems like to most people, I have a bottomless pit for a stomach, because I'm always hungry, I eat a lot, and I enjoy every moment of it. I guess I'm grateful for having fast metabolism for about a couple of years now. So unlike weight-conscious and crazy calorie-counting people, I don't really have to watch every calorie I consume, because I easily burn them anyway. To be honest, it annoys me how people would look at food and say comment on how many calories they are. Oh for goodness sake, just eat it and just get some exercise. But I guess I'm guilty of that too. I haven't been out jogging for over a year, and I actually miss the feeling after a good run. Though I enjoy the occasional Zumba while inside my room.

Anyway, I'll end this here for now. Time to watch another episode of Game of Thrones.

Confused.

Just when I thought things were alright, they suddenly change abruptly in the opposite direction. What the heck happened? I don't really want to assume the worst, because I never really assumed the best.

Then you dropped a hint a couple of months ago. Well, at least I thought I heard you drop a hint. And then a few days ago. "Utakan na pagdating sa pag-ibig," you said. Pag-ibig? Pag-ibig ba ito? You actually called it that? I don't know whether you were saying it in passing or just joking around. What the heck?

And now you suddenly recoil just because I was joking around during a text exchange. It was just a little inquiry at first, and then a little quip, and then you suddenly give a final word. Then nothing. What the heck is wrong with you? You really blow hot and cold.

I think you just ruined my weekend. And all I have of you right now is a cough and a cold that I caught from you.

I don't know now what I'll say to you when I see you next time.

Stomp!

Back in high school, idle times were made for the simple drumming of fingers against any surface, and sometimes the really wacky classmates would stomp around and slap their hands on their thighs to the beat of the La Salle spelling song, which I easily caught on by shyly imitating their movements while still seated. In senior year, I resorted to taking drum lessons to have any semblance of musicality in my life as a wallflower, and easily read the drum notation my classmate wrote for me when we tried to start a band in our first year of college.

When I heard that Stomp was coming to Manila, I was so excited, but I had no idea how I could manage to get hold of a ticket considering I never set aside a budget for it. I thought I would never have a chance to see it. Until my phone rang early yesterday afternoon, waking me up from a nap. It was Paulo, saying that he had a spare ticket to the show that very afternoon at 3pm. And when I looked at the time, it was already 1:30pm. I immediately said yes to the ticket and flew to CCP as fast as I could. Woohoo, made it to CCP in record time, just 10 minutes before the show. Super thank you for the ticket, Pao!

My goodness, those guys were amazing. They came up with anything that made even the slightest bit of sound, from simple claps, brooms (one of them--whom I heard was half Pinoy--first came in bringing a walis tambo, hahaha!), buckets, tubes to even plastic bags, Zippo lighters (that part was one of my favorites!) and even the simple sound of a foot or a chair sliding against a surface. All this was done as they crossed the stage in perfect choreography, or sometimes even suspended from a harness. Awesomeness. I was practically on the edge of my seat the entire time, anticipating what they would come up next.

Stomp was quite the experience, complete with audience participation. I sure hope they'd come back soon. I'd willingly audition for something like this, hahaha.

We really should learn to appreciate the little things.

I realized that we really do take a lot of things (no matter how simple they may be) for granted. I guess we really should be grateful, even for just the little things.

After 5 months of using my laptop from my bed (using my chair as its "table"), I'm now back to using the laptop on my actual table. I've been having problems with my right arm for about a couple of weeks now, and it seems I have slight symptoms of cubital tunnel syndrome. My fault for not having proper posture while I spend hours clicking and typing away at home and at work. Thank goodness I was advised to have it checked immediately before it really becomes cubital tunnel syndrome. Because I was experiencing occasional numbness and tingling sensations from my fingers to my elbow, I was given a couple of prescription medicines, and I'm glad to say that the weird feelings on my arm has lessened. What I need to practice more is proper posture.

Anyway, the doctor had told me that I'm lucky that I had asked for a consultation right away, because most cases she had seen were when people were already cradling their arms, and not being able to do simple occupational things such as turning a doorknob because of the pain. So I realized I shouldn't abuse my arms and hands too much while I'm using a computer. I really should be grateful that I can still use both arms properly.

I heard that a friend of mine got held up (at gunpoint) early yesterday morning, right outside her very house. I'm so glad the creep got away with just her bag instead of her life.

I realized that I had a bunch of close calls that I almost missed if I blinked. On the day of my birthday last year, I was on a bus home when a bunch of holduppers came aboard. Realizing that the bus was too crowded (as there were passengers already standing in the aisle), they decided to hop off the bus immediately, because with all those standing passengers, they won't be able to get a clean getaway. I found out from the bus conductor that he knew they were holduppers, because their photos were posted in their transportation office. In hindsight, I realized that I should have been grateful for that, instead of complaining that it was my worst birthday ever.

Another close call was last week. I was on a jeep to work, and I had opted to sit in the middle instead of sitting next to the door. When someone had hailed for the jeep to stop right in the middle of Coastal road, instead of boarding the jeep, the guy snatched this poor lady's bag and immediately dashed before we all realized what had happened. Had I sat in her seat, I would've been the one with the stolen bag.

And I guess we also should appreciate the simple things. Just as a little quality time with friends both old and new, taking the time just to sit around, hang out and talk. Yesterday, I ended up staying longer in the office so I could wait for a bunch of co-workers to finish, something which I hardly do because I'm always off to a rehearsal/show or in a rush to go home and go back to sleep. I ended up having lunch with Julie, Sam, Faye, Carla and Pau in Glorietta 5, then we (except for Faye and Carla) headed to SM Mall of Asia to watch a movie. Ended up staying there until dinner before we headed home. It was a crazy afternoon of wrong lyrics, crazy quips, catchy Pinoy movie punchlines, Sam's endless hunger and bits and pieces of revelation.

I can't wait to start working on a production again. D' Emperor rehearsals begin this Tuesday. I sure hope this will be a blast.

So how are you guys? Does anyone still read my blogs? Please do leave a comment if you dropped by. I'd love to hear from you.

Is there a real difference between them?

I had asked a few friends, "Would you consider being friends with benefits sort of like an open relationship? Or completely different things pa rin sila?"

I had asked because sometimes it seemed to me that they are just the same. Plus the fact that I've seen two movies that talked about being friends with benefits, Friends With Benefits (how original) and No Strings Attached. I actually liked the former better than the latter.

Anyway, so back to the question. I actually liked Drei's answer.

"Open relationship is exactly like FWBs. Both aren't really committed to each other. The only difference is that in an open relationship, you get to put a title on your significant other. In FWBs, you're just totally friends that fuck each other for the heck of it. In ORs, you ARE in a relationship; a fucked up one, but a relationship nonetheless. You are obliged and entitled to the typical relationship nuances and practices. It's just that you're allowed to fuck someone else or date other people, since it's an OR. More emotional stress and trauma compared to the FWB sexlandia and freedom."

OK, I guess that cleared things up for me. So why the heck was I asking? Let's just say being in something like this makes me more uncertain of where I stand, hence making myself afraid to love again, or even to just to take that one big risk or leap. Whatever. I guess I'm not making sense right now (and heck, at this hour). Thank goodness the other person who's involved does not read my blog.

Regarding that other person involved, I remember that we used to be so close. Now I don't even know what his opinions are, especially about this, and especially about that weird time when I had no idea whether something that had happened was real or was just a dream. All I know is that he doesn't want people know about us.

I know you have these weird rules about not going back to the way things were, but can't we just please simply put a label on it? To hell with your nonsense rules.

Oh well. Enough pondering. I'll probably edit this when I get back from work.

Effort to write despite my right arm's tingly feeling.

I can't resist blogging, so even though my right arm still kind of tingles half the time and I still need to rest, I figured a brief update wouldn't hurt.

So here's another collection of mishmash updates.

The last 2 plays I got to watch were pretty good, and both directed by Tuxqs. The first was Dulaang UP's Tinaratadong Asintado (a Filipino adaptation of Titus Andronicus). I got to watch it with Erik and Marj a few weekends ago. Damn, it was bloody brilliant. Yes, pun intended due to the blood and gore plus the concept of the play. And it even inspired Marj to do Shakespeare plays, especially something like that (even though she had no idea at the beginning that it was adapted from an early work of Shakespeare, ahehe).

Anyway, the second play I saw was just last Sunday, which was Tanghalang Pilipino's Nobyembre, Noong Akala Ko'y Mahal Kita. It's one of the plays in the Tony Perez Perspective, which features 2 more of his works. I loved how clear all the characters were, no matter how many multiple characters and ages those 3 actors did. I have yet to watch the 2 other plays, Bombita and Sierra Lakes, tomorrow evening.

In other news, I do believe that I'm known in our office for being one of the agents who used to get rattled so easily, and now I've been moving up to doing primary projects. It actually amazes me how our team leaders/project heads have faith in me to handle them. The last feedback I got from one of them was pretty flattering, despite my mediocre performance. I hope I can handle the monitoring next week.

I got a postcard in the mail last week. It was such a thrill to still receive personal snail mail at this day and age. I have to say, handwritten mail (be it a letter or a postcard) is still something I love to get. It's more personal, even though we do still get personal stuff via email. I mean, there's more effort into taking the time to actually write it, and that's what I appreciate. It's one of life's simple pleasures.

I love simple pleasures. Like that, getting a postcard. Or eating fruit salad flavored ice cream. Posting these simple pleasures as a shout out on Facebook makes me feel more grateful for these things.

Speaking of more simple pleasures, I recently taught myself how to knit using a couple of YouTube tutorials. I actually learned basic knitting from my grandmother back when I was in grade school, and I don't know why, but I suddenly lost interest, and ended up learning crochet instead. Anyway, despite my arms' condition, I managed to make a few rows of knitting stitches a couple of days ago. I decided to put in a new row or two every day so as not to tire my hands out too much.

Another simple pleasure was the massage I got last Monday. Thanks for that.

Anyway, it's about time to rest this darn arm. My right forearm is getting all tingly again.

I don't want to spend less time with this.

I think I have cubital tunnel syndrome.

I think it's like carpal tunnel syndrome, but instead of affecting the thumb, index and middle finger, mine is affecting the ring and pinky fingers of both hands. Mostly feeling it on the right hand, though.

I realized it's probably because of the position of my laptop when I type away. I usually sit on my bed (which is a foot off the floor) and my laptop's in front of me, sitting on my chair. For some reason, my chair had been higher than usual, causing my elbows to bend even more when I'm using the laptop. And it's been like that for days now without my realization. Until yesterday, when I tried sitting on the chair and adjusted it back to its lowest position.

I guess it's also because I've been typing away at other things (when I really should be blogging more). I really should give my hands and arms a rest. But don't worry, that doesn't mean I won't be blogging.

Attending Visprint's WIT event.

So how is everyone?

In my last blog post, I had mentioned that even though Noli Me Tangere had already closed, we still had 2 special shows during this month's 2nd weekend. In between the 2 shows, we had the Saturday off, which gave time for me to check out the Visprint WIT event at the SMX Convention Center.

My agenda was just to attend Carlo Vergara's talk on "How Theatre Helped Me Make Good Comics," but because I arrived pretty early (I was worried that I might not get in due to the limited slots available), I ended up sitting inside and listening to the earlier talks.

The first talk was supposed to be Eros Atalia's "Ikwento ang Kwentong Pinoy," but because he was running late, Paolo Fabregas was given the go signal to start his own talk, "Clear Then Clever: How To Create Comics The Advertising Way." I loved his rule. First be clear, then be clever. Because of how he used his graphic novel, "Filipino Heroes League" to discuss conceptualization of comics, I'm now intrigued to buy it, haha.

Eros finally came after Paolo's talk. I then realized that he was the author of "Ligo Na U, Lapit Na Me," which also became a Cinemalaya film this year. His talk on writing what you want to write was super witty, but very informative. It was straight to the point, and I liked that. In a way, I was a bit struck by what he said. "Kaya ka agsusulat, dahil gusto mong magpaintindi." When I first starting writing these blogs, it was just for therapy, not for any audience. But when I realized that there are people reading it, it made me want to write more about my thoughts, and wanted people to read it because I needed input, other people's points of view.

Creators of "Trese," Budjette Tan and Kajo Baldisimo came next. They talked about the influences that helped them create their graphic novel, with Budjette giving a backstory about his childhood experiences with the supernatural. Kajo also gave 13 tips for the lazy artist, ending with a 13th saying to not follow all his tips, ahahaha. I liked how he said that there's a difference between "Magaling ako" and "Mas magaling ako sa kanya."

Finally, it was Carlo Vergara's turn. He gave a backstory about his experiences in theater, from high school, to college in DLSU, and with New Voice Company, such as improv exercises (and I was the only one nodding, understanding, ahehehe), saying that theater acting gives you so much possibilities and options. Haha, he even gave references to playing old school tabletop games like Dungeons and Dragons. And I can't believe that even I could relate to this, because my brother once forced me to play the tabletop role playing game before when we were kids. Anyway, he talked about his creative process and all that, and then he showed some of his works, of course including "Zsazsa Zaturnnah." And what's funny was that he also showed a few photos of the last staging of the musical, including a photo of Tad as Didi, ahahaha. Anyway, his talk was a good, brief 20 minutes because it was close to lunch time already, so after his talk, I immediately approached him to chat for a little bit and have a photo taken with him. Haha, thanks to Siege for the paparazzi shots while Carlo and I were talking.

Unfortunately, after that, I had to leave SMX because I was meeting up with Tin and Peachy for an afternoon in Powerplant Mall, so I missed Siege's reading, and Bob Ong's slideshow message (but thank goodness it was uploaded on YouTube). But I was glad I caught a few more talks than I had hoped for, as it had inspired me to write more, and this won't be the last event similar to this that I will be attending.

Trying to revive my blogging habits.

I haven't blogged much over the past few months. Man, I'm losing my touch.

So anyway, technically, Noli Me Tangere closed 2 Sundays ago. But to those who didn't get to catch it during its 4-weekend run, we have 2 more special shows. One will be tomorrow, Friday, September 9, at 8pm, and another will be on Sunday, September 11, at 3:30pm. The venue is still at the CCP's Little Theater, and if you really are interested to watch, you can contact Tanghalang Pilipino at 832-3661 or 832-1125 (loc. 1620).

I'm ready to close the book on this play. It's my first actual TP play as an assistant stage manager with them, believe it or not, hahaha. (The previous stints were under Virgin Labfest, and the rest were supertitling stints). Even though D' Emperor has been moved from November to January, I can't wait to start on that one soon. Attending the auditions and callback auditions was fun, and I have to say, it was the most organized (in other words, least chaotic) audition process I've ever experienced.

What else has been happening? Nothing much really. I guess the most significant thing to date is something I'll keep to myself for now, because I'm not sure if what had happened was real or not, as mentioned in this cryptic blog post. I guess I don't know what to make of it. As of this day, sometimes I try to convince myself that it was just a little dream, but then I analyze that I know that I can't really remember any of my dreams, even any trails of the last parts until I wake up, no matter how much I still try to grasp it. So could it be that it really happened?

Oh, I need to stop thinking about it. Starting right now.

I want to go on a trip again. Like when I went to Cebu. I flew over there not knowing what to expect, and not personally knowing anyone who will actually attend (except for Hendri, who came late and just stayed until lunch). By the end of the trip, I had a ton of new friends and a ton of memories to bring back home with me.

Oh well, we'll see.

Word vomit. So I can finally stop dwelling on it.

I keep going back and thinking about what had happened this weekend. Or, what possibly had happened. I still can't tell whether it was just a dream, or if it really happened.

Was I just dreaming? What is just something in my subconscious? Something that I wanted to hear?

Or could it be that you actually said what I thought you said?

Maybe it's just word vomit.

I have no way of proving whether it's true or not. Because knowing you, you could easily deny it if I asked you again.

I also know that you don't even read this. So if you really said it, I'd also say the same thing.

Meet another cast member in TP's Noli Me Tangere.

Jonathan "Tad" Tadioan, a member of Tanghalang Pilipino's Actors Company, plays Don Tiburcio de Espadana (alternating with Garry Lim) and also Kapitan Tiago in certain performances (as he is Red Nuestro's understudy for the role) in Noli Me Tangere, The Musical.

How long have you been part of the TP Actors Company? And what's your position there?

I've been in the company for almost 6 years. Since 2005. Currently a member of Tanghalang Pilipino's Actors Company.

As part of the Actors Company, what do you do (during the season, whenever there's a production, and such)?

Every year, we undergo training in ballet, voice (singing), voice for stage, improvisation, script analysis, scene study and others. When there's a production and someone from Actors Company is part of it, we usually attend rehearsals. We are also assigned to understudy specific roles in any production. We also do backstage assignments, which I think is good exercise for actors to learn other forms of artistry, such as stage management, production management, etc.

What's your favorite thing to do as part of the Actors Company?

To act and act and act. Kasi nga you portray different roles which is sometimes totally or extremely not you. You learn other things from your directors and sometimes from your co-actors. It also challenges you to test your limits.

In the few years that you've been with the company, what's your most memorable experience so far?

Sobrang dami. First, I've worked with those people na ina-idolize ko. I've worked with the premiere and top calibre stage directors like Loy Arcenas, Jose Estrella, Dennis Marasigan, Herbie Go, Audie Gemora, Roobak Valle, Chris Millado, Jaime del Mundo, Tuxqs Rutaquio, Floy Quintos and more. Doing roles na extremely opposite sa akin. Nakakapunta

 ako sa mga lugar na hindi ko pa napupuntahan. Nabibigyan ko ng justice yung mga nagagawa kong play. And most especially, sharing my talent that God Almighty gave me.

What's your most challenging experience?

- Nang unang beses na mag gay role ako sa R'meo Luvs Dew-Lhiett, directed by Herbie Go.

- Nang gawin ko ang Alimuom ni Reuel Molina Aguila, directed by Chris Millado.

- Nang gawin ko ulit ang gay role na si Didi na hindi nagmukhang caricature, directed by Chris Millado.

- Nang gawin namin ang Madonna Brava ng Mindanao with Shamaine Centenera Buencamino at multiply characters ang role ko.

- Nang gawin ko ang Doc Resureccion with Riki Benedicto, Angeli Bayani, Peewee O'Hara at Crispin Pineda, directed by Tuxqs Rutaquio.

Most memorable/favorite production so far?

Zsazsa Zaturnnah, Doc Resureccion, Evening at the Opera, R'meo Luvs Dew-Lhiett, Alimuom, Pamantasang Hirang, Flores Para Los Muertos, Noli Me Tangere, Palanca In My Mind.

In TP's Noli Me Tangere, you play two characters, Don Tiburcio de Espadana and Kapitan Tiago. Do you find any similarities between them?

Actually, both, kasi naman magkaiba sila ng needs eh. One is seeking for higher status in the society while the other one naman is protecting the needs of his daughter and what can make him reach the top of the society.

What's your favorite song in the musical?

Panaginip and Dalawang Liham.

And what's your favorite scene?

Lawa and Panaginip.

By the way, you were part of TP's Noli Me Tangere back during its 2005 run. How do you find both productions? Differences and similarities?

Magkaiba sila totally. Kasi Noli of 2005 focused on the love story of Ibarra and Maria Clara. This year's Noli focuses on the revelation of the letters and how this affects the love story of Ibarra and Maria Clara. Atsaka dito, mas buo yung character ni Salvi.

Now, what's the best advice you've ever received?

Do not perform just because you need to perform.

And what's the best advice you could give?

Acting is reacting. Don't perform just because you need to perform. It comes from within. Trust your instincts. Trust yourself.

Noli Me Tangere The Musical is running until August 28, 2011 (Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 3pm & 8pm, Sunday at 3:30pm), at the CCP Little Theater. For ticket reservations, c

all 832-3663, 832-1125 local 1620/1621 or 832-3704.

Photo courtesy of Tanghalang Pilipino.

Gian Magdangal as Crisostomo Ibarra in TP's Noli Me Tangere.

Meet Gian Magdangal, who plays Crisostomo Ibarra (alternating with Mark Bautista) in Tanghalang Pilipino's Noli Me Tangere: The Musical.

So I heard that this is your first Filipino musical?

Yes, first Tagalog musical. Ah hindi, hindi naman first na first, pero first with lines. (laughs) Parang ganun na rin diba?

What did you do to prepare for your role as Ibarra?

Ay naku, I had to read the novel in English. Be familiar with the story and... actually talagang musical review, I mean [story] review the whole thing, so that I can get a better understanding. But when it came to music, in preparation for that, I could trust my music rehearsals, and the director.

Do you find any similarities between you and your character?

Oh yeah. Mestizo (laughs). Siguro ano na rin, I’m also a balikbayan. But wala naman akong bad news na natanggap pag-uwi ko, or something like that. Pero yung pagmulat na pag uwi ko na ganito na nga pala yung bansa natin, or yung like every time I go out of the country and come back, in that sense, I’d be able to see what’s happening or what’s not happening to our country. Pag landing mo pa lang ng airport diba, parang ganun yung dating, na nagfa-flashback yung buong thought of Noli Me Tangere, in that sense. Hindi naman ako mayaman. Hindi ako mayaman kagaya nila Don Rafael. Hindi ganun yung daddy ko, so hindi kami nagrerelate sa ganung aspect. But I think with someone who graduated college, parang... hindi naman sa pagmayabang o pagbuhat ng bangko, pero siguro compared to the mas nakakaraming Pilipino na hindi nakaaral, like nung masa na hindi lahat sila nakapagtapos... I think in that aspect, I can see my character. I can see that education is a big deal for most of our Filipinos who need it.

What’s the most challenging thing you had to do?

In rehearsals, the most challenging was to be on time. (laughs) No, hindi naman! Siguro it was really to grasp the whole Tagalog bit kasi I really think in English, but I had to really think in Tagalog this time, for this musical and especially with the words and how it’s constructed in such a way that you really had to sound Tagalog, para authentic.

Any memorable experience so far?

So far, my memorable experience in this musical is muntikan ko nang masaksak si Kuya Bodjie ng kutsilyo (by accident). Sabi niya, occupational hazard yun, and the great Kuya Bodjie as one of my idols, parang memorable na yun na parang to control.

How do you balance showbiz and theatre?

If you want it, you will make it happen. I really wanted this. I wanted also showbiz, so I had to do everything to do it. I think that’s just the only way. Iba yung want sa need eh. I think this is what I want. Showbiz also, I want. Syempre.

What’s your favorite scene in the musical?

It’s the last scene. Kasi after all diba, that hardship that you go through the whole musical, and the whole string of how you woo Maria Clara, and how Ibarra goes through this whole difficult process of roller coaster emotions of losing his father (which fortunately I cannot relate to), at the end of this whole scene, kumbaga pagdating kay Maria Clara, nare-realize na nakakapagmahal pa rin si Crisostomo Ibarra. Naks! Parang ganun eh! (starts singing a snippet of Ibarra and Maria’s final duet) Mabigat yun eh!

What’s your favourite song?

I actually like the “Damaso” song. Hindi, siguro “Gapusin...” na lang. Yun na lang yung favorite song ko, kasi yun yung pinaka nahihirapan ako na kanta eh. Kasi ang daming nangyayari, parang galit ako na hindi, na naiinis ako na kailangan kong tanggapin, kailangan kong iharap, galit ako na hindi pwedeng magalit dahil makukulong ako. Yun yung nangyayari dun sa kanta na yun, at nangyayari siya in 2 minutes. At ang dami daming salita na 80% of it I started out that I didn’t know what they mean. Like guho, ruins pala siya, mga ganun. (laughs)

What’s the best advice you received? In performing, in theatre or in life in general?

I think [that] you don’t get everything right away. You need to work hard for it. You may be able to cross the bridge, but mas maganda yung makatawid ng bridge na buo lahat ng limbs mo. Na suot mo pa rin yung sapatos mo, ganun, at lahat ng dinala mo dun sa giyera na mauuwi mo pa rin. Hindi yung parang tumawid ka ng bridge na nakahubad ka na, putol na yung paa mo, ganun. Parang hindi ka rin nakatwid eh. You need to prepare before you go to war, before you do this, before you attack this. I think that’s what I did. Hindi ako sasabak dito na hindi ako prepared, and I think that’s what I should be doing in everything. And I think that’s what people should be doing before they proceed with their work. They should always be prepared ahead of time. Parang 2 moves ahead ka dapat, parang chess, para manalo ka.

What’s the best advice you could give?

The best advice I could give is you need to enjoy your work. If you don’t, people will not enjoy also. Another thing that I got good advice here pala is if you don’t see it when you do it, the people won’t see it also.

Noli Me Tangere The Musical is running until August 28, 2011 (Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 3pm & 8pm, Sunday at 3:30pm), at the CCP Little Theater. Call 832-3663, 832-1125 local 1620/1621 or 832-3704.

Photo courtesy of Tanghalang Pilipino.

Mark Bautista as Crisostomo Ibarra in TP's Noli Me Tangere.

I haven't been blogging as much as I used to, but as a treat for you guys, here's a brief interview with one of the actors playing Crisostomo Ibarra in Tanghalang Pilipino's Noli Me Tangere: The Musical, Mark Bautista.

So is this your first play or musical?

First musical na play. 

And how does it feel?

Ang sarap. Iba yung fulfillment sa stage, sa theater. Iba yung atmosphere, iba yung passion ng mga katrabaho.

What did you do to prepare for your role as Crisostomo Ibarra?

Well, may background na kasi ako since high school, may Filipino na subject. Tapos ngayon, syempre mas lumalim sa tulong ni Direk Audie. Nagkaroon ng characterization, pinaintindi niya sa amin yung character, and then yung story din, and we discussed yung aming ginawa, para magampanan yung role ng maayos. And nag-voice lesson ako. And hindi na ako lumalabas. I mean for the entire month, siguro, hindi ako lumalakwatsa, yung mga ganun. So talagang focus, concentrate ako dito sa play na ito. Actually, mahirap siya. Mahirap dahil hindi talaga ito yung usual na ginagawa ko [tulad ng concert], pero masarap na mahirap, kung may ganung mang term. Pero nage-enjoy ako.

Do you find any similarities between you and your character (Ibarra)?

Woah. Totally different. I think ang kapareho ko lang sa kanya, pag may gusto kaming mangyari sa buhay, gagawin namin. At masunurin din, para sa magulang. Para sa minamahal.

What’s the most challenging thing you had to do in rehearsals?

Rehearsals... Well, nung first kasi, yung adjustment ko, iba. [Kung] kailangan kong mag-adjust sa pagkanta, sa pag-arte. Kasi sa theatre, mas malaki yung acting. At syempre first time ko ring makatrabaho yung lahat ng cast. Malaking adjustment sakin. And siguro yung first week ng rehearsals, yun yung pinakamahirap sakin. And yung pag-memorize, kasi ang lalalim ng Tagalog. Tapos ang mga songs kasi ang tataas, so parang hinahanapan ko siya ng paraan na maabot ko at hindi ako mapagod.

Do you have any memorable experience so far?

Siguro yung first time kong ma-experience yung CCP Little Theater. At ito mismo, Noli Me Tangere, binigay sakin na lead role. Hindi ko makakalimutan yun. At yung kung paano magtrabaho din yung theatre actors. Tatak yun sakin.

You have a pretty busy schedule...

Actually yun din pala yung mahirap. During rehearsals, diba nag-abroad ako... as in sobrang abroad, so talagang malaking challenge.

So how do you balance it?

Well, sa plane, actually may dala akong script... Sa trabaho ko, dala ko yung iPod, nakikinig ako lagi sa plane dahil mahaba yung biyahe. Sa mga train, pinapakinggan ko, memorize. So dito naman, pag may Party Pilipinas, ang hirap din kasi pag Sunday... Saturday may performance, diba? Minsan pag susunod na Sunday, wala ka nang boses, minsan hindi ka na nakakapag-rehearse ng Party Pilipinas. Hindi ko nga alam kung pano ko ginagawa eh. Iniisip ko lang na parang, kailangan kong tapusin itong show na parang, hindi ko na iisipin yung hirap na pinagdadaanan. Kailangan lang siguro i-manage ko yung time ko. After ng mga shows, hindi na magsasalita, matulog ng maaga. Wala nang extra-curricular activities.

May sinabi ka kanina about gusto mong tapusin ito...

In a good way, ha? Gusto kong tapusin na, alam mo yung, iba kasi yung fulfillment pag matapos ito, at iba yung pakiramdam, masarap. Kaya gusto ko ma-feel na yung feeling na yun. Na pagkatapos, wow, nalampasan ko... nagawa ko. Gusto ko ma-feel yung sarap na yun.

Would you do more plays?

Alam mo, at home ako sa teatro. Nung mga rehearsals nga, or every performance, hindi ako yung kinakabahan. Ibig sabihin hindi ako yung natatakot na, “Shucks, ito nanaman...” Parang hindi burden sakin. Parang excited ako lagi.

What’s your favorite song or scene in the musical?

Ang dami. Well, gusto ko yung sa amin ni Padre Damaso, yung ending namin ni Maria Clara. Yung mga ballads na solo, gusto ko yun. Actually yung mga ending ng mga songs, yung talagang parang sinadyang nagging masakit yung mga awitin.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

Well, ang dami kong nakukuhang advice. Una, yung kay Direk Audie. Kasi iba ang acting sa stage, diba? Ang dami niyang tinuro na dapat hindi ako emosyon lang, wala man lang movement sa katawan. Lakihan pa ang movement, or mag-react... [From] Co-stars, sa pagkanta rin, pinagtutuunan ko ng pansin, kasi siyempre iba yung singing dito. Lagi kong sinasaisip na dapat relax lang para di ako mapagod. Dapat may technique. So far, yun.

What’s the best advice you could give?

Siguro dito ko mas lalong naintindihan yung pagmamahal sa trabaho. Pag hindi mo mahal yung ginagawa mo, parang pabigat. And dito sa larangan ng teatro, bawal ang hindi mo mahal ang trabaho mo. Bawal ang nabibigatan ka. Dapat gusto mo, dapat passionate ka.

Noli Me Tangere The Musical is running until August 28, 2011 (Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 3pm & 8pm, Sunday at 3:30pm), at the CCP Little Theater. Call 832-3663, 832-1125 local 1620/1621 or 832-3704.

Photo courtesy of Tanghalang Pilipino.

Brief pondering.

It's been quite a long time since I made a somewhat cryptic post, but I guess this won't be that cryptic.

Snippets during a weird conversation some time ago...

"Wag ka ngang ganyan. Baka mapalayo lang lalo ako sa iyo."

"Dahil sa iyo, hindi ako magkaroon ng ______."

"Bakit parang umiiyak ka?"

"Hindi ah. Pagod lang ako."

The first phrase kind of irked me a little. Just a little. It just made me shut up.

Regarding the last, I realized how I'm such a bad liar. Especially when it comes to certain people. I can be so transparent. Even when I just shut up and close my eyes.

As for the second one, I don't know what it really meant. I sort of got annoyed and amused and weirded out all at the same time. Why blame me for something that can't seem to happen to you? I don't really have a choice, anyway, so I can't do anything about it. It still boils down to your choice, right? So why do I have to still be a big factor?

OK, I'll stop rationalizing now. Good night.

Yes, I'm still alive.

Wow, I haven't written anything in almost a month. Was I that busy? Either that or I sort of lost the drive to blog because I was trying to keep myself preoccupied with the show. And to think that I haven't even finished writing any of my accomplishment reports yet. Yikes.

So anyway, I totally owe this blog a huge update, but I doubt this entry will be similar to the long entries that I usually make. In my last entry, I had mentioned that our rehearsals had moved from Elizalde Hall to the CCP Conference Room. I was so relieved because everything was already within reach. And there's air conditioning! I love the Conference Room so much, hahaha.

When we finally moved to the Little Theater, there were so many stage adjustments, from blocking to nonstop adjustment of the choreo. It seems like every rehearsal day, there was something to add or subtract. Crazy, but there's nothing we could do about it, ahehe.

So anyway, Noli Me Tangere the Musical opened last Friday night, and I'm so glad that we finally opened. Even though there was quite some mishap during the Saturday evening show, causing the powers that be to cancel the show, the Sunday afternoon show made up for it. It's a good weekend all in all.

Shameless plug to end this post. Please make me happy and watch Tanghalang Pilipino's Noli Me Tangere the Musical. It runs every weekend of August (Fridays at 8pm, Saturdays at 3pm and 8pm, Sundays at 3:30pm) at the CCP Little Theater. It features Cris Villonco as Maria Clara, Gian Magdangal and Mark Bautista alternating as Crisostomo Ibarra, Bodjie Pascua as Padre Damaso, Al Gamaitan as Padre Salvi, Red Nuestro as Kapitan Tiago, Jenny Villegas as Tia Isabel, Jonathan Tadioan and Garry Lim alternating as Don Tiburcio, and Ring Antonio as Donya Victorina.

Another week.

After rehearsing in the Aliw Theater's Elizalde Hall for 3 weeks, we've finally moved back to the CCP Conference Room. So from a fairly warm rehearsal venue (where we always have about 5 fans going) to a pretty cold one.

At the beginning of the week, I did something that I was planning to do about over a year ago but never got to due to certain circumstances. Never mind the reality of the cost, I just went ahead. But now, I'm thinking, is it worth it? Am I looking for something in exchange? Maybe, maybe not.

Lambert caught me yawning during one rehearsal and he had asked how I was going to survive tech week, considering I'm also juggling another part-time job during early mornings. Not really a problem, I guess. Filing for a 2-week leave won't be so bad, right? I had already filed for the first week, and will do so for tech week by the end of this week. That way, I won't look like a total zombie by the time the show opens.

I just realized that I haven't done much except go to the office and CCP ever since rehearsals began. Thank goodness the Virgin Labfest was just in the area, so I was able to catch the final 2 weekend evenings for the festival. I had already bought a ticket in advance to the final 8pm show on Sunday, because ever since my first Labfest experience, I know for a fact that the closing weekend can be quite a toughie to get into. It's actually nice to know that there were a lot more people who came to watch this year. I saw bigger audiences during sets' opening shows on the first weekend, while before, I could practically lie down on the bleachers on a set's first show.

On Saturday night, after an afternoon music rehearsal with none other than Mr. Ryan Cayabyab himself, Minay and I rushed to the Conference Room to catch the 6pm staged reading of Hermano Puli, written by Miss Lallie and directed by Tuxqs. It already began a half hour before we made it inside, but at least we got to watch most of it.

After the show, I stepped outside the south entrance to grab my umbrella and found George talking with Trixie. She had asked me earlier when she will see me act onstage, and I had shrugged, so she asked me again. Hahaha, I told George to still consider me in his next plays, as I had declined his offer to be in the thesis production of Titus Andronicus (because I had already signed up for Noli). I sure hope he's serious, hahaha.

Afterwards, I found myself killing time in the lobby while waiting for the rain to let up. There were still quite a bunch of people waiting outside the Batute even after the 1st play began, in hopes of getting in, but as for me, I knew I didn't have a fighting chance. Dingdong, on the other hand, was still waiting for some of his guests to arrive, and because some people didn't make it, a couple of my friends managed to nab the just-released tickets. Haha, I managed to nab one of the last tickets (and I still haven't paid you back, Dingdong, sorry!), so I still managed to catch the second to the last show of both Kinaumagahan (congrats, Riki!) and Kafatiran (congrats, Dingdong, JK, Marco, Acey, Abner, Ian and Tamtam!).

I got to hang out with Lara (Lara Mae), Lara (the Other Lara), and Roan after the show. A few bites and a bunch of pitchers of drinks, and a whole lot of chatter and laughs at Dencio's made up for the time I didn't get to join those ladies' nights. I love these girls to bits.

So anyway, as I mentioned earlier, we finally moved into the Conference Room on Sunday afternoon. No director that day, so with Chie as our fearless leader, we got to clean up most of the scenes that included the chorus so as to prep up for the choreography. After rehearsal and a short meeting with Chie, Wowie and Minay, I practically flew to the Batute to fall in line for the final Labfest set's closing (Set C: Streetlight Manifesto, Kawala, and Evening at the Opera). I got to watch this set's DTR a couple of weeks ago, but didn't really get to watch the first play because I had to step out and have dinner because I was practically starving after our own rehearsal. Anyway, I was glad to have bought a ticket to this set way in advance so I don't have to bother waiting outside. Jenny and Ring found that I was alone, so they invited me to sit with them (with Opa sitting in front of us). We had a perfect view of Evening at the Opera from where we were sitting, as they were advised to sit near the entrance, where we had a full view of Ana at the dresser table.

After the show's curtain call, VLF founder and festival director Rody Vera announced that Tuxqs will be the new festival director next year. Woohoo!

Congratulations to everyone involved in Virgin Labfest 7!

As I haven't talked with Opa in ages, and I was starving the whole day, we decided to catch up while I ate in KFC after the show. It was great to know she was busy with something she enjoyed.

Anyway, it's about time I hit the sack. Again. It's good enough that I had one day to hibernate and just be dead to the world, and dwelling on certain things, hahaha.

So dear blog reader, how are you?

Monday off.

It really does seem that I update weekly, considering that Monday is the only day of the week that I get to have all that time to myself.

Still busy with Noli rehearsals. We mostly covered blocking this past week, but it was quite a challenge blocking all the actors, considering that there are always absentees everyday. We had to contend with their other scheduled commitments, such as shootings as well as rehearsals and shows of the Virgin Labfest in CCP. But at least we made lots of progress, even if it meant standing in for absentee actors along with Minay and Wowie.

Speaking of Virgin Labfest, I managed to catch a couple of sets this weekend, as we only had afternoon rehearsals on Saturday, and none on Sunday. I managed to watch Set D (The Valley Mission Care, Mga Lobo Tulad ng Buwan, and Bawal Tumawid, Nakamamatay) on Saturday evening (thanks, Miss Nikki!). Then I got to watch Set A (Requiem, Kinaumagahan, and Kafatiran) on Sunday afternoon, along with Betty. Two of my best bets for Labfest revisited are in the latter set, as I had a blast watching them. One play flowed so seamlessly and effortlessly, while the other one made me want to roll along the lone aisle with laughter. Anyway, I'm hoping to catch a couple more shows this coming weekend, if schedule permits. Plus I already got a ticket to another Labfest set because I know how hard it is to get walk-in ticket purchases when a set is closing on a weekend.

In the evening, I got to watch The Music of Andrew Lloyd Webber at the Main theater, thanks to Tin and Sam. I managed to get Minay and Anna to tag along. The show was delightful, yes, I have to admit. Their voices were inspiring enough for me to think about taking voice lessons again. But I have to say that watching the actual plays featured in the revue is more thrilling. But don't get me wrong, I still enjoyed the show.


There are times when I feel like I'm just going around in circles in this certain situation. Sometimes I feel like things are getting better, yet there are times when things are just static, or moments just drop. And my paranoia doesn't help, either. Are the efforts worth it?

Just before another busy week begins.

Another weekly update.

I don't really have much time at home to myself during the busy days. It seems that I spend more time sleeping in our office lounge than at home in my own bed during days that I have rehearsal in the evening.

We had music rehearsals this past week, and despite dealing with temporarily changing venues once in a while, plus the crazy rains that began midweek, it still didn't faze us. Well, so we did have to cancel one rehearsal due to certain flooded areas, but we managed to make up for that.

Haha, even with the cancelled rehearsal, I managed to get in a brief spur-of-the-moment rendezvous with a good friend that day, plus I got to watch Atlantis' Aida on its opening night. I loved the music, I loved their voices. Ima Castro's voice was so powerful. I'm already wondering if I could watch it again, but I guess because of my busy rehearsals days, I'm kind of doubtful.

Despite busy schedules and all, I guess I'm somewhat enjoying going back to stage management. Somewhat, hahaha. I suddenly remember that conversation with Lambert when he had asked me why I wanted to pursue acting. I then asked if I could find balance between stage management and acting, but I do seriously doubt that there could be any. I think I have to choose and focus on just one.

I miss reading book after book. I actually envied Rayna when she hung out with us during a music rehearsal with some of the lead actors (during that crazy stormy night). She was reading an English translation of "Noli Me Tangere," something that I'm dying to do since pre-prod days began.

I'm still in the middle of reading "Passport Diaries," which never fails to speak to me. It's like "Eat Pray Love" that was written for me, hahaha. Just the other day, I found another phrase that spoke to me.

I kept him around, not because I thought he was The One, but because he was Someone at a time when I was afraid there might be No One. But Someone isn't good enough anymore. Especially now that I know that being with no one can be cool too.

I love it. It's something I can relate with. It's like the character's realizations are parallel with mine. I'm so glad I impulsively bought this book instead of leaving it on the shelf.

A free day amidst the busy ones.

Yes, I'm still alive, yet being a tad neglectful of this blog. Rehearsals for Tanghalang Pilipino's Noli Me Tangere: The Musical started last Tuesday, so I've been pretty busy. Juggling rehearsals in the evening alongside my other part-time job in the mornings isn't that easy as I thought it would be, but I do believe that after all this hard work, it'll really pay off. I haven't done any real stage management work ever after Doubt 5 years ago, so this is a good challenge as well as an opportunity to hone my SM skills in professional theater.

We've been rehearsing for about 4 days now, and had finished blocking almost half of the play. Considering that there are a lot of actors who have schedule conflicts (due to some of them are in this year's Virgin Labfest as well as some other prior commitments), Wowie, Minay and I have been standing in and taking down blocking notes like crazy, especially during the times when Chie, our fearless leader, was absent. We spent quite a good time after last Saturday's afternoon rehearsals just reviewing and comparing our blocking notes with Lambert so we'd all be on the same page when we update Chie at our next rehearsal tomorrow.

The cast looks like an interesting crowd. A good variety of actors from different backgrounds, mostly familiar faces even back during my old OJT days of yore (gee, I wonder who those are? Hahaha!).

In other news, there are some days that I just wish I could just have some peace and quiet. No one nagging or complaining, no issues about me or with someone else, and no disappointments. Plus I heard some bad news that could possibly happen, but I don't want to join in all the pessimism and negativity. I do know that there's still hope, and it's not just for one person anyway; it's for everyone. That's why I cherish certain simple things lately. The chance to talk to a friend I haven't talked to in a while, even if it's just for brief small talk. The wonderful news that a good friend of mine had just given birth to a beautiful baby. A couple of free hours alone just so I can read a new book I had just purchased, or so I could watch a movie on my laptop. Or even just a random text exchange with playful banter with a good friend.

I mentioned reading a new book. This new book I'm currently reading is called "The Passport Diaries." Yeah, typical chick lit, but it's one of my guilty pleasures. Page after page, the book kept saying the right things at the right time. I love it. There are phrases that are totally for me.

So anyway, how is everyone? Yes, you, to the one reading this. I know you're reading this blog, so go ahead and leave a comment so I'll know how you're doing. =)

Just thinking, that's all.

I just realized that the last time I posted a blog about what I'm really thinking and feeling felt like 3 lifetimes ago. I remember that I only reserved those posts for private entries, so I'm more known for writing cryptic things when I write a public entries about what I think and feel.

I guess I do so because blogging has become more commercial, and personal posts only spark the interests of the people who personally know the blogger. I don't know. Hence, my cryptic posts.

But then again, cryptic posts are useless when you need solicited or unsolicited advice, or for people to empathize with you. Though I'm not really keen on the latter because it just... well, it just too much of a weak girly thing. (Blame it on my reading "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man".)

Anyway, so an old flame and I have been pretty chummy as usual, and it's not really a surprise. But I do have a feeling that sometime soon, we're going to have another argument, tampuhan, or whatever you may call it. It's like a cycle with a weird pattern ever since we stopped seeing each other.

Plus it's weird. I have a feeling he still talks about me with other people, and I don't even know what about. A couple of nights ago, I found that he tagged a girl in one of my most recent (and one of the prettier, hahaha) profile photos, and as quickly as it happened, the tag disappeared. He told me in a brief chat that he wanted to show it to someone.

Huh?

The last time he did so, he tagged another girl (a girl he was starting to like) in one of our old couple photos (from one of my birthdays), to show her what his ex looked like.

Anyway, I found it interesting and funny that I'm still one of his topics of conversation. But why talk about me, of all people, right? Anyone?

OK, enough about that. This is what I get for blogging too early in the morning. Now for some hodgepodge.

My laptop suddenly sort of crashed yesterday. Darn it. So after a deep breath and saving what meager parts of my files that I could, the whole system was completely reformatted. Sigh. I lost all my music, half of my photos and other miscellaneous stuff.

I can't wait for Noli Me Tangere rehearsals to start on Tuesday. The stage management will be meeting later so it makes me more anxious and excited. I haven't had any backstage action in a while, so I need to brush up on my SM skills.

And now, off to work I go.

A look back on 10 years of blogging.

When I had introduced myself at the blog camp, I had mentioned that I was an old-school blogger, as I've been blogging for about 10 years. Haha, for some reason, our lively host was impressed but chuckled, and joked that I had been blogging since I was 5 years old. No one really knew how old I was judging from my looks alone, ahehe.

Anyway, when I recalled that, I decided to take a trip to my old blogs. Let's have a look, shall we?


I started blogging way back in September 2001, and I had used DiaryLand. I came up with the username "tymeless" because I had already been using it before in chat rooms. It was unique, and it somehow suited me (those who really know me know why). The online diary, as it was called back then, was an outlet for me to write whatever I want without my mom having to go through my stuff (as I caught her repeatedly reading my actual diary before). I found out that posting those entries was really therapeutic. I could express what I was feeling without having to tell anyone, I could vent what was bothering me (I once made a scene in front of my friends, making a show of walking out, only to find myself at the computer lab, typing away an entry).

Then when I decided to make a personal website (which was starting to become quite a trend back then), I noticed a few online friends' sites had these weblogs, or a sort of news page for their site updates. I realized that I think I needed one of those.

I ended up finding a clean, decent platform with Pitas.com back in December 2001 , and learned how to design my own "blog." I also found a blogging community (Pinoybloggers) in the PinoyExchange forums, and we all started exchanging links and visiting each others' sites. One thing I didn't expect was that one of the bloggers there actually worked for Studio 23's Digital Tour, and for one of its episodes, they featured our blogs in one segment. It was nice to have a few seconds of fame.

Eventually, I befriended one of the bloggers in the forum, and he told me about this online journal platform that was perfect for me, albeit somewhat exclusive. We had to pay a certain fee to sign up, or we had to receive a certain code generated by someone who's already a member of that site. It was a sweet deal, he gave me a code for me to sign up, and in return, I generated a code for a friend of his.

So that's how I got into LiveJournal back when it wasn't free for everyone yet, way back in February 2002. I've been pretty loyal to it, as I'm still maintaining this site even until now. And I realized that because you can comment on entries, I actually enjoyed having an audience who reads them every once in a while, as I never learned how to attach a place for comments in my previous sites.


I also got an account at Blurty, which is sort of similar to LiveJournal, back in December 2002, and made it more private than the one in LJ. Eventually I turned it into a public blog when I found out that more of my friends from LJ also started signing up for Blurty. Sometime in 2003, I sort of abandoned LJ and focused on just updating my Blurty, until some sort of conflict within a circle of friends ensued, hence my reason to return to LJ, and even start using another place to blog.


That's how a bunch of my friends and I ended up at Tabulas in November 2003, where I really enjoyed blogging at during quite some time. I could also keep track of all my blogger friends by posting their links on the side bar, so once I'm on my page, their own blog was just a click away. By the way, I also still maintain this site, but I guess most of the links on the sidebar have been defunct for a while now.


Finally, there's Multiply, another place where my loyalties still lie since October 2006. I love that I can blog here, plus post photo albums and videos as well. Plus I loved the cross-posting options so it's very convenient for me. I never got around to using the tagging option when I post any entries, though. I guess that's how old-fashioned I still am.


Wow, that's a lot. I can't believe that I've been blogging (and baring part of my heart and soul all over the world wide web) for almost 10 years now. I once thought that I could gather all those posts and turn it into a book, but by now, I doubt it would probably take me another 10 years just to compile all of those, hahaha.

It's actually nice to look back at those old blogs. I randomly took a peek at one entry from each of those sites, and I just smiled at the memories, knowing that I survived all those obstacles, heartaches, and all the crazies that came my way for the past 10 years. Here's to 10 more years and even more.