Look back at 2011, then move forward.

Finally, my annual year-ender blog post. Hope you guys have a happy new year!

January

At the beginning of the year, I was missing the company of a good close friend, who kind of decided to lie low due to certain brooding issues, but considering she has her own personal reasons, I accepted it and let things blow over in time.

Speaking of friends, this was also the time when I trekked all the way to the north just to see Carmie, Jay and baby Evan. Had lunch at their house, hung out, had a bunch of laughs and bonding.

When it came to performances, I got to go to the Orosman at Zafira press conference at SM Mall of Asia, and even got to meet and have lunch with the regular bloggers in the theater scene. I also got to watch TP Actors Company's Anatomiya ng Korupsyon for a second time (the first was in December of the previous year), and sat through it with Riki and Russ up in the gallery of Batute.

I also started a small tradition for myself, which I called "Sunday Solitaire." I love spending a quite time alone with coffee or tea and a good book, at any random coffee shop that I end up in.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Life really just happens. May mga dumarating at may mga nawawala. Yun lang.

- I guess kailangan may mawala para may ibang dumating, at para magkaroon ka ng mas maraming panahon para sa sarili mo.

February

This was my "merely watching" month. Declined being front-of-house head for the rerun of 9Works' Rent and passed the baton to my minions, haha. Kicked off the month by attending the annual CCP Pasinaya with Nikki and newbies Erik and Marj. Hahaha, the latter two enjoyed the festivities so much that Erik wanted to register early for the next Pasinaya. Also got to watch most of the monologues in Monodrama Manila, which included some monologues that I've already seen before by a couple of friends.

I also got to have a 2-play marathon in one day this month, watching DUP's Orosman at Zafira in SM Mall of Asia in the afteroon, and Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah (with a new Didi!) in the evening. The following weekend, I went to PETA to watch another "baklaan" play of the month, Caredivas. It's so funny watching your old flames play gay roles onstage. Nice to know how confident they are of their sexuality.

As for Valentine's Day, I got a spur-of-the-moment invite to hang out with a very close friend. Had a blast just hanging out, like any other normal day.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "We both select from life what pleases us." (Man of La Mancha)

- "I miss the man who treats me like Dulcinea." (Reg)

March

Was busy this month due to Kimberly and Johnson rehearsals every evening. It kinda wore me down, not because of the work, but because of precious time that always get wasted. I mean, you give a call time, and people come in an hour later. I understand that they're students, but if they're really committed to something, they really should do something about that.

Oh, and good news at work arrived this month. I finally got regularized at CVG!

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- My probationary period is over. I'm finally regularized!

- It would be a good excuse to travel and meet new people as well.

April

The beginning of the month was marked with stage managing 3 events in CSB, all one week after the other, and with me getting sick in the process to the point of losing my voice completely by the second event. But I survived, and I'm darn proud of it.

We also began workshops at TP this month. Once again, I signed up for the Rehearsal and Performance Techniques class, and Sir Dennis was back as facilitator, with Rayna as his assistant teacher. I was told that I was merely a late bloomer when it comes to acting, hence the reason for resorting to backstage work (but hey, it's also a passion of mine, so I'm not one to complain). Our class tackled Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest, and my bouts of low self-esteem was dismissed through the encouragement of my facilitators and co-workshoppers.

A bit of drama occurred at the beginning of the week as well. It drove a couple of us kind of crazy, considering I only got to hear mostly one side, while the other side was practically ignoring me, or was avoiding the topic whenever we try to talk about it. Plus it pissed me off at how certain people can stick their nose in other people's business as if they can save the world. Please, I know you're trying to be a friend, but it helps even more if you mind your own business. Anyway, regarding the issue, I had to learn to deal with it, even though I didn't really like any ideas pertaining to the drama. Oh well.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "Ikaw lang ba dapat ang maging considerate as a friend?" (Iam)

- What came over you and suddenly asked a random question to start a conversation like that? Hahaha. I actually missed you.

May

One of the most significant things that happened this month was our recital for Rehearsal and Performance Techniques, Ang Halaga ng Pagiging Masigasig, Sir Dennis' own translation of The Importance of Being Earnest. All the simple advice we heard all year came back on that day. Learn and unlearn. Just dive right in. Sink or swim. Don't think too much about the script and do your best. And we did. I have to say, it was the first time I had so much energy right from the beginning of the play (which Sir D told me to maintain), and I felt such a high after exiting from my first scene. I was still on a high after the show (no matter how crazy our ending turned out), and encouraging words from our facilitators made me so giddy.

Then of course, the other significant event of the month was the Cebu Blog Camp! Went to Cebu by my lonesome, without knowing anyone (except for Hendri), and spent 4 and a half days of fun with all these bloggers. During the actual blog camp, everyone thought I was so prim and proper in my dress, all quiet and taking notes during every talk. They got to know the real me during the next couple of days, which was jampacked with road trips, food, "mind games," videoke, and lots of bonding with new friends.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Me: Handa na ba ako for something cold [to drink]? -Erik: ... like my heart.

- I realize that I still think too much. I guess it's the Sagittarian in me. But then again, it's also still just me.

- My goodness, I'm finally going to Cebu, hahaha!

- Dive in. Don't overthink.

- "Bloggers blog for themselves and not for an audience." (Estan Cabigas)

June

Noli Me Tangere rehearsals began this month. It was kinda crazy, because we had to deal with a new venue outside of the CCP building that wasn't really well-ventilated (we had to bring lots of huge industrial fans in). I spent more time at work (both in the office and in rehearsals) than I did at home. Days at home were only for sleeping and bathing, and caught up on more hours of sleep during the time between shifts in the office and rehearsals. I called it my baptism of fire, because it was my first professional stage management job after my last one 5 years ago. I was pretty rusty, but I had to relearn real quick. I was too busy at work that I was blogging less, which was one of the few downsides.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Speaking of work, today marks exactly one year since I started working part-time at CVG.

- I just realized that the last time I posted a blog about what I'm really thinking and feeling felt like 3 lifetimes ago.

- "I kept him around, not because I thought he was The One, but because he was Someone at a time when I was afraid there might be No One. But Someone isn't good enough anymore. Especially now that I know that being with no one can be cool too." (Passport Diaries)

July

Noli rehearsals continue, but we finally moved back to the CCP Conference Room this month. Finally, a room (that's air conditioned, no less) that I feel at home in. Still busy at ever while juggling both my jobs, I found less time for myself. Though I did manage to catch some of the Virgin Labfest sets, I still didn't have enough time to just hibernate. Except, of course, during that one Saturday night with Lara Mae, Lara and Roan. I haven't had a ladies night in ages, and thank goodness they were there.

Blog's quotable quote of the month:

- A few bites and a bunch of pitchers of drinks, and a whole lot of chatter and laughs at Dencio's made up for the time I didn't get to join those ladies' nights. I love these girls to bits.

August

This month was the entire run of TP's Noli Me Tangere. I was relieved that we finally opened, so I don't really have to worry much about other things. I had more time for myself, as I only had work in the office on weekday mornings, then focused on the show during the weekends. Despite certain mishaps and glitches, we still managed to pull it off.

Blog's quotable quote of the month:

- "Bakit parang umiiyak ka?" "Hindi ah. Pagod lang ako."

September

After Noli's run during the past month, we got to have an extra weekend during this month, so the book wasn't really closed after its final weekend in August. We only had a weekend of rest in between. That's when we had our callback auditions for TP's next (supposed) production, D' Emperor.

I was still trying to revive my blogging habits, but I guess I failed on that this month. Though I still did manage to blog about attending a Visrint event at SMX, just because of the fact that Carlo Vergara, the creator of "Zsazsa Zaturnnah," was there, hahaha.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- Was I just dreaming? What it just something in my subconscious? Something that I wanted to hear? Or could if be that you actually said what I thought you said?

- "First be clear, then be clever." (Paolo Fabregas)

- "Kaya ka nagsusulat, dahil gusto mong magpaintindi." (Eros Atalia)

- "There's a difference between 'Magaling ako' and 'Mas magaling ako sa kanya'." (Kajo Baldisimo)

October

I started having symptoms of cubital tunnel syndrome this month. It was due to bad posture while I was at work, as well as excessive bending at the elbow. At first I brushed it off, but when the feeling was more frequent, I had to go to the doctor to get some medication for the inflamed nerve. Thank goodness I went before it got worse.

D' Emperor rehearsals began this month, and working with the cast and the rest of the crew was pretty fun.

Stomp came to Manila this year, and thanks to Paulo, I got to watch them on their closing day. My goodness, this group is A-mazing. Ever since I've first heard of them ages ago, I've always wanted to do something like that. I wonder if they'll ever hold auditions internationally. As in here in Manila, hahaha!

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- I know you have these weird rules about not going back to the way things were, but can't we just please simply put a label on it? To hell with your nonsense rules.

- I guess we also should appreciate the simple things.

November

Due to certain circumstances, D' Emperor got cancelled and was moved to next season's lineup, much to our disappointment. Too bad. But at least TP managed to find a backup for the free slot in the theater.

Our house underwent some renovations this month, including a minor part of my room (well, just the windows, really). I really liked how it turned out. The only downside of it was that because of the roofing outside, my room got darker, so I have my lights on more often.

Because of the show cancellation, I got to attend Lesley and Pipo's wedding! It was a beautiful ceremony, and got to hang out with awesome friends both old and new while seated at Table 26 (the best and craziest table) at the reception. A spur-of-the-moment sleepover at the hotel led to a wonderful bonding session with fellow Barbies. One awesome sleepover, I should say.

Blog's quotable quotes of the month:

- "Utakan na pagdating sa pag-ibig."

- I should learn to stop over-analyzing and overreacting.

- Attending this fairy tale wedding made me believe in love again. I just know there's someone out there for me.

December

After almost 11 months, I got to see Carms again this month. We hung out with Evan (and nnanny Lisa) at the Promenade in Greenhills from afternoon until the evening, just talking and talking the whole time, punctuated by Evan's bouts of cuteness. I just love these two to bits. Plus Carms told me about something I could do for his dad's show. Oh dear, I sure hope that opens up in 2012! Please! Hahaha!

Another little reunion this month was with Maika, whom I haven't seen in 4 years. We'll be planning a MaGANGda reunion for 2012, and I'm hoping it really will happen this time.

Biological milestone this year. I turned 30! If last year's birthday was a disaster, this year was pretty simple, yet good. Good stats at work in the morning, then I attended Carlos Celdran's Imelda tour in CCP. I like it that way. No craziness, just a normal day with a little extra.

There were a couple of brooding episodes this month, and the latter one is still happening right now. To you, I don't really want to start 2012 on a bad note with you, but I'll leave you alone for now. Hope we'll be OK when the new year comes in.

Lara did another card reading for me at the beginning of the year.

JUDGMENT

You're more free to make decisions and are transforming. You take account your past actions and know better. By revaluating and reviving, you drop your old values to embrace new ones. Accept things the way they are.

Make choices without blaming others or yourself. You have a new insight into how you handle your relationships. It is fine to shrug your shoulders and think "What's the point?" This is your chance to start afresh, let go of the past and stop feeling guilty for your actions.

Now that I think about it, I have to say that it's amazing how Lara does it. This year had a lot of changes, and I welcomed them without second thoughts. True, there were times when I analyze things too much (especially during those times of drama), but as I look back, I remember just barreling through and stop trying to please other people.

I got a new card reading from Lara. I'll reveal it when the new year comes in.

Like I said (on Facebook and on Twitter), lessons have been learned. I've gained some and lost some. It happens. It's life. It's time to move onward to 2012. Have a happy new year, everyone! Stay safe!