All my life, I was never part of a choir. I do remember once wanting to join the high school chorale, but when I went to the chorale room, the choir master told me that she couldn't accommodate me during my free period (as an athlete who was exempted from PEHMA) because that was when she took her lunch break. She did encourage me to still join the chorale for Wednesday club. I didn't.
Even as a theater kid, I never had any formal vocal training. I only learned how to sing from musical theater workshops, and I cannot read notes to save my life. With that being said, I felt that it was a disadvantage compared to other colleagues, so intimidation would always get the better of me.
Due to all of these experiences, I always felt inferior about how I sing. When I started serving in our church community's music ministry as part of a chorus/choir, we were encouraged to just sing without any inhibitions, regardless of any singing experience. We were given this safe space to just go ahead and sing. But there were still rare moments that I still had those thoughts and critical voices in my head because I can hear people who have amazing voices singing next to me. When I was elevated to a mass singer, I still kept doubting myself. It was a great opportunity, yes, but because of prior inhibitions, I sometimes felt that my throat would close out on me whenever I had to sing solo.
Fast forward to last week, when I joined Diwa Singing Club for their one-day choir. I’ve seen a lot of one-choir choir events from other organizations, but never got around to joining them. When my former coworker messaged a bunch of us to invite us to this particular event, I decided to give it a go regardless of my upcoming dance schedule. And also because the song choice was “You Will Be Found” from the musical Dear Evan Hansen.
Prior to the day of the one-day choir, I lost my voice because of a cold and cough. I had to go on complete vocal rest for most of the week. By Saturday, when I tried uttering a few words, I realized that my voice was finally back enough to sing, yay.
I arrived at the venue (the Yuchengco Museum at RCBC Makati) a little earlier, armed with water, throat lozenges, and a cup of hot tea with honey.
Another reason why the event chose that particular song was that it was Mental Health Day the day before, making it very appropriate. We also had Mental Health PH volunteers who came and supported us as well.
I love how the Diwa Singing Club made us all feel that everyone was welcome, that it was a safe space for everyone. It doesn't matter if you’ve choir experience or none, if you’re a singer or someone who just prefers to sing in the privacy of your own shower. Anyone who showed up can sing.
The day began with the team introducing themselves, and then had us going around with an introduction activity. We had to pair up for each question they flashed onscreen and we had to share our answers. While I cannot remember my answers to the questions anymore, there was one question I remembered, which was “If you could learn anything just for fun, what would it be?” The girl I got paired up with candidly answered “ballroom dancing”, and I think I shocked her with my reaction, so I explained that I’ve been studying ballroom dancing and is currently a dancesport athlete. We immediately connected our socials before moving on. It was so amazing to meet you, Andrea!
After a couple more activities, we were grouped into our respective sectionals and got to sing the song for the first time. It was fun, it was awkward and a little bit hesitant, but we still found beauty in it. After that, we all went into different rooms of the museum so we could rehearse the song with our respective sectionals for around 50 minutes. Each group had a section head who assisted us in clearing our parts, and it was amazing. Thank you for helping us mezzos, Lorraine!
We also got to explore the museum exhibits once we were done rehearsing our parts, and then when we went back to the main room, there was a talk on mental health when Mental Health PH reps.
After that came the exciting part. We were to sing the song three times. For the first round, we were allowed to film it, so everyone started setting up their camera phones, phone holders, tripods, and other filming equipment. I don’t know, but when we were singing it for that first time, I had goosebumps. When the song ended, everyone erupted into cheers and applause.
For the second round, we put our cameras away, and we just sang the song, feeling everything. There it was. That safe space turned into a beautiful choir of this amazing group of people from different walks of life. Everyone was seen, heard, and felt.
The third round was the best, if I may say so myself. We were allowed to go off-book and walk around the room to connect with everyone else as we sang the song. By now, everyone felt at ease with everyone else, so while some would acknowledge each other with a simple smile or nod, there were even waves, high fives, and hugs all around.
That entire afternoon was one of the best side quests I’ve ever had this year. I wouldn’t really call it an actual side quest, actually. Like I would sometimes say, it’s always important to go back to doing things that we were once truly passionate about, to find ourselves again, and there, we will realize that we will feel that we are home.
Thank you, Diwa Singing Club, for this amazing experience. Thank you as well to J9 (who invited us to join this), Felice, Jullien, and my katukayo Tin (also a mezzo!) for sharing this experience with me.
