Remembering how I used to blog.

A number of friends and I have noticed that almost all of my blog posts lately have been about my ballroom dancing experiences. Some of you are probably sick of reading about them already, hahaha.

Ever since I had shifted from working backstage in theater to learning how to dance ballroom, I've been talking nonstop about it. I can't help it. I've fallen in love with the craft as much as I fell in love with theater arts.

Met up with Erik yesterday afternoon to check out this new little cafe in our village called Kat's Cafe. It was pretty small, with only a couple of booths inside, then all the rest of the tables were outside. So many quirky, kitschy stuff were inside, especially the books! They had so many pop-up books, trivia books, and lots of others. It took us quite a while going over a Q&A trivia book, and then we read the Aladdin pop-up book to refresh our memory on the original Arabian tale (for the few who can remember, there was also a lesser genie in the story, the Genie of the Ring).

The topic of auditions came up in one of our conversations, as the Miss Saigon auditions had ended last week, and there's this week's auditions for the upcoming productions under Atlantis. Erik had mentioned something that Robbie had told them at one audition. That people get nervous during auditions because they're already aiming for a role, not realizing that audition panelists actually judge you as yourself as a performer, unlike in plays were audiences already judge a character.

Very interesting indeed.

I guess that's why there are some moments in workshops and workshop recitals that I get nervous, and other times that I'm not at all. During the latter, I guess it's because I'm already confident in my performance that I don't have to worry much about the character. But whoops, I guess I haven't had much experiences in auditions, though.

Then it felt different for me when I had danced in my first dance recital. I had no character to hide behind, as I was performing as myself. So if I looked funny or stupid or awkward, it's because that's how I feel as myself and not as any role or character.

During a chat with Myrone last night, he reminded me not to feel so insecure about myself about my dancing, because that will be my prime weakness that will make me lose my focus. So I guess it goes back to being confident in myself, and as myself.

Let's talk about some other kind of randomness, shall we? I haven't done these kinds of posts in a while.

Yeah.

Anyway.

I've forgotten what it felt like to have that kind of crush. It's like being back in high school. There's the giddy feeling when you think and remember that person, and also that different kind of giddy feeling when you're with him.

I don't think it was under the influence of other friends' teasing us together, but I ended up liking this friend that I already knew for years.

I'm someone you would call "torpe," as I would be the type who would never admit out loud about who I like, and even try to let that person know that I'm interested. But considering all the little leaps of faith that I had done this year, I decided to do something different.

So I told him.

And got friend-zoned.

I already expected it, as he had mentioned one night during one of our previous out-of-town trips with a bunch of friends about not really looking for relationships right now. He did say that I'm one person he was very comfortable with and love hanging out and talking to, that he's very happy to have me as a friend that he likes and trusts. Wow, so showbiz, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

The funny part of it all? I had admitted all that through text, just a few days after we had gotten back from another out-of-town trip because of work. I had not seen him in person after that.

Until this weekend.

I was so relieved that things weren't all that awkward between us after my crazy bout of honesty. It's like nothing had happened. Still the same old us, good vibes and all. But of course, the giddy feeling is still there. I just enjoyed the moment. That's just how it is, I guess. I'm contented enough with what's already there.

It's been a while since I've been this honest in a blog entry. It feels really great to write like this again.

So how are you, dear reader? Thanks for dropping by and don't be shy to leave a comment.

An openly-trained noob watching a syllabus competition.

"If you master the syllabus, I assure you, you will not be sorry."

Those were some of the words from PDTA (Philippine Dance Teachers Association) chairman Ma. Cecilia Katigbak during her welcome remarks at yesterday's 1st PDTA Syllabus Competition.

As I recently just started taking a syllabus class, I was pretty curious as to what a syllabus competition was like. Julius had once explained to me that the choreo that you had to dance was what you had learned in your syllabus class, but that was the only extent of what I know.

Because Ian's workshop hasn't pushed through yet, my Sunday yesterday was free. So off I went to the Meralco multi-purpose hall to watch the competition. It was pretty much a five-minute walk from the theater, where Atlantis Productions' Aladdin is currently showing.

It felt different from the 2 major dancesport competitions that I've watched. First, it was basically a smaller venue, with fewer participants. And second, there was the appearance of the participants' costumes. Simple dresses, no adornments whatsoever, unlike the glamorous sparkly and feathery costumes at the the DSCPI competitions.

For a change, it was comforting to see more familiar faces to say hello to, as they were the same people I see in Dancing Queen studios. I got to watch Karen, Myrone, Joemari and Alvin practice their routines while waiting for the competition to start.

After 4 years since the first time I saw the PDTA people at the Pasinaya festival in CCP, I saw them in person again. Ednah Ledesma, PDTA's vice president, was the one who taught us the chachacha for one half hour segment. Then there's Ariel Llanillo, PDTA's president. He was the one who approached me that fateful day at the Pasinaya, asking me if I wanted to dance competitively. I sort of blew him off that day because I was in a rush to meet my other friends and see all the other events of the festival, even though I was really interested already that time. Plus I didn't have the time or the budget to go for it. So to Sir Ariel, even if you don't remember me, if you chance upon this post, my apologies. I really wanted to dance ballroom all this time, and I only made the opportunity for myself this year.

So anyway, watching the syllabus competition was quite interesting. It was much simpler than the competitions I've watched, as the participants just seem to really basically just dance the choreography or routine that was part of their syllabus classes. Thanks to Ian, despite the fact that I'm still in the bronze level, I already somewhat knew half the syllabus of the gold. Myrone had casually asked me at one point why I wasn't competing, and i just gave a nervous laugh and told him that I don't think I'm ready to compete yet. What I couldn't believe was that for some of them, that syllabus competition was their first time ever to compete, including him. Seriously? I didn't look that way while I was watching them dance. Anyway, considering my previous (open) training, I don't really mind not competing yet. I guess I just want to finish all the medal programs first from bronze to gold.

Joemari and his partner during the (youth) standard competition.

Myrone and Karen during the (adult) Latin competition.

Dancing the rumba.

Alvin and Myrone dancing the samba for the 1-dance individual category.

Like I had said in my post on Instagram yesterday, every dancesport competition that I watch is quite the learning experience. And I'm also glad that I'm also making new friends in the process.

Learning and unlearning with an open mind.

When I first started taking ballroom classes, it was basically an open class, with me being the only regular student who attended the class everyday. Because of that, the lessons depended on who were attending on a particular day. If I was the only student, we'd keep moving forward on what I've been learning already, and focus on some techniques. If another occasional student was there (with the exception of Abby, Ate Helen, and sometimes Bernard), we'd tackle something different and new. So in a way, my lessons were kind of inconsistent.

(Photos courtesy of Big Shift DANKA)

I've only recently heard of the syllabus classes in ballroom through Julius, when I first attended his sampling class at Big Shift (though I have no idea why they got another ballroom teacher while I was the only regular student). When I did a little bit of research, I realized that some of the lessons that I've been learning as a beginner are already way too advanced steps and techniques.

I decided to take the syllabus class that Bran's teaching in Dancing Queen. In previous blog entries, I had already mentioned that the Bronze bar class was starting, and considering I haven't studied under them for the Bronze class, I had to catch up via one-on-one private lessons.

On Tuesday of last week, the class after Le Bran was actually a review of the entire Bronze syllabus, so I got to catch up on all 5 dances. I still have a huge weakness for the samba, as I only got to run through the entire syllabus routine right then and there, but I managed to barrel through. It was also my very first time to dance the paso doble, which was kind of a challenge for me. Another challenge that day was after every time we dance, we change our partners. The connection is different with every person who leads us.

Classes started Thursday of last week, but I didn't get to attend. I only got to attend this past Tuesday. We studied the chachacha, and for some reason, I couldn't quite catch on as well as the rest (the other students were Korean ladies). It seems that I can't put everything together simultaneously--my posture, pushing the floor with my feet, the hip movements and twisting of the body, and connecting with the partner through slight pushes and pulls. I felt like such a newbie all over again. It was like I'm Jody in the movie Center Stage. I know the basic footwork, but in terms of technique, I still have so much to learn.

On Thursday morning, I wanted to redeem myself. I also couldn't help but pray and hope that we do the rumba instead of the chachacha. After Le Bran class, I couldn't help but smile widely when Bran said that we'll be studying the rumba that day.

There were actually key points that I learned about the technique that wasn't discussed in detail yet in my classes with Ian, so I was glad to pick it up. Then Bran actually commended my curacha/Cuban rock, as I did it with ease. He had no idea that I've been practicing that everyday for almost 8 months now. After that, we worked on a bit more technique as we danced the syllabus routine until the spot turns, changing partners after each dance.

Then we were given "homework." Bran showed the basic rumba walk that Ian had been teaching me, with a lot more technique. What Ian kept referring to as keeping the heel down, it meant keeping the back foot turned out, at the same time letting the hip follow. It looked much clearer to me that day, even though I looked so awkward during the first couple of times we had to cross the floor. Once we started doing it to the music, it felt more comfortable, and Bran noticed the change. He approached me after the class and told me that I made a big improvement compared to Tuesday's class, and Maui (sp?), whom I had danced with on both days, said so as well.

Bran kept reminding me of simple concept that I've learned in theater. Learn, unlearn, and re-learn. Because I got used to taking an open class, even with the techniques I've learned there, there are still so many endless ways of learning. There's nothing wrong with taking a syllabus or an open class, as long as you keep an open mind.

Ian's workshop starts tomorrow. I can't wait for that as well.

Hello, November. Let's do this.

I was reading the last couple of chapters of "A Little Bit Wicked," Kristin Chenoweth's autobiography, this evening. I loved all the little bits of words of wisdom and advice that she said all throughout the book, and I especially loved this particular one:

It's been said a thousand times, and it's true: if there's anything else you could be happy doing, you should do it.

I've been taking Le Bran classes at Dancing Queen studio once or twice a week, plus one-on-one sessions every once in a while. Julius was out of town this past week, so Bran was the one who took care of me when I came to the studio this Wednesday. He paired me up with Myron, one of their scholars (and the tallest one, at that), and had me learn the Bronze syllabus so I can quickly catch up with the Bronze bar class that will begin this week. Myron and I managed to cover the chachacha, the rumba, and the jive. We didn't have time to cover the samba and the paso doble, but Bran and Val got us to dance and review the chachacha and rumba with the others, and even took a video of it. I was glad that Bran liked that I managed to memorize the syllabus routine in such a short span of time.

By the way, when I was talking out the syllabus with Myron while I was writing them down, I mentioned a term for one of the steps in chachacha, and he said that the term was too advanced already. So when I looked them up online, I realized that Ian was already teaching me stuff from Bronze all the way to Gold, especially for the rumba!

Anyway, so the Bronze bar class will begin this Tuesday, and even though I have no idea how to come up with the money to pay for it (but Val and Bran did mention an early bird discount), I'm really considering taking the class so I won't get rusty until Ian takes me under his wing again.

I texted Ian earlier this evening about taking the classes at Dancing Queen, unless we start the workshop soon. I told him that I had to ask him first, given that I consider him his mentor, despite the fact that he teaches open classes instead of syllabus.

Ian called minutes after my text message, while I was reading the quote by Kristin Chenoweth that I posted at the beginning of this entry. He said that we'll be starting the workshop soon... next Sunday! He said we need to start soon because he really wants me to make my dancesport debut in March. So I need to keep practicing, as we'll be working at his studio with Simon by then. He told me to work on my turns (one of my biggest weaknesses), and stretch my body as much as I can so I can execute splits. I'm somewhat pressured, as this guy that will be my partner had already ranked 3rd in competitions.

Yikes. Can I do this? I'm excited, anxious, and nervous all at the same time!