A number of friends and I have noticed that almost all of my blog posts lately have been about my ballroom dancing experiences. Some of you are probably sick of reading about them already, hahaha.
Ever since I had shifted from working backstage in theater to learning how to dance ballroom, I've been talking nonstop about it. I can't help it. I've fallen in love with the craft as much as I fell in love with theater arts.
Met up with Erik yesterday afternoon to check out this new little cafe in our village called Kat's Cafe. It was pretty small, with only a couple of booths inside, then all the rest of the tables were outside. So many quirky, kitschy stuff were inside, especially the books! They had so many pop-up books, trivia books, and lots of others. It took us quite a while going over a Q&A trivia book, and then we read the Aladdin pop-up book to refresh our memory on the original Arabian tale (for the few who can remember, there was also a lesser genie in the story, the Genie of the Ring).
The topic of auditions came up in one of our conversations, as the Miss Saigon auditions had ended last week, and there's this week's auditions for the upcoming productions under Atlantis. Erik had mentioned something that Robbie had told them at one audition. That people get nervous during auditions because they're already aiming for a role, not realizing that audition panelists actually judge you as yourself as a performer, unlike in plays were audiences already judge a character.
Very interesting indeed.
I guess that's why there are some moments in workshops and workshop recitals that I get nervous, and other times that I'm not at all. During the latter, I guess it's because I'm already confident in my performance that I don't have to worry much about the character. But whoops, I guess I haven't had much experiences in auditions, though.
Then it felt different for me when I had danced in my first dance recital. I had no character to hide behind, as I was performing as myself. So if I looked funny or stupid or awkward, it's because that's how I feel as myself and not as any role or character.
During a chat with Myrone last night, he reminded me not to feel so insecure about myself about my dancing, because that will be my prime weakness that will make me lose my focus. So I guess it goes back to being confident in myself, and as myself.
Let's talk about some other kind of randomness, shall we? I haven't done these kinds of posts in a while.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I've forgotten what it felt like to have that kind of crush. It's like being back in high school. There's the giddy feeling when you think and remember that person, and also that different kind of giddy feeling when you're with him.
I don't think it was under the influence of other friends' teasing us together, but I ended up liking this friend that I already knew for years.
I'm someone you would call "torpe," as I would be the type who would never admit out loud about who I like, and even try to let that person know that I'm interested. But considering all the little leaps of faith that I had done this year, I decided to do something different.
So I told him.
And got friend-zoned.
I already expected it, as he had mentioned one night during one of our previous out-of-town trips with a bunch of friends about not really looking for relationships right now. He did say that I'm one person he was very comfortable with and love hanging out and talking to, that he's very happy to have me as a friend that he likes and trusts. Wow, so showbiz, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.
The funny part of it all? I had admitted all that through text, just a few days after we had gotten back from another out-of-town trip because of work. I had not seen him in person after that.
Until this weekend.
I was so relieved that things weren't all that awkward between us after my crazy bout of honesty. It's like nothing had happened. Still the same old us, good vibes and all. But of course, the giddy feeling is still there. I just enjoyed the moment. That's just how it is, I guess. I'm contented enough with what's already there.
It's been a while since I've been this honest in a blog entry. It feels really great to write like this again.
So how are you, dear reader? Thanks for dropping by and don't be shy to leave a comment.
No comments:
Post a Comment