Satisfy Your Valentine's Hugot Needs with Ampalaya Monologues
We know how hard it is to be single on Valentine's Day so we're here to help you out. Ampalaya Monologues is closing its first volume with two last hugot events this Valentine's weekend. The hit show that tells different stories of love, heartaches and bitterness is back and will feature the best monologues from the first volume that are sure to make you laugh, cry and even leave you inspired.
Written by Mark Ghosn and performed by TAP! (Theater in Alternative Platforms), the event will also feature spoken word performances by Rod Marmol (Utot Catalog), Jake Habitan (White Wall Poetry), Roch Lazarte and Jihads Mambuay (Words Anonymous) and more, musical performances by Suicidal Genius, Happy Monday People and Coeli San Luis, with live arts by Tyang Karyel and an open mic session as well.
Ampalaya Monologues is happening on February 13 and 14, 4PM at Splice Resto Bar, Edsa Central, Greenfield District. Tickets are at 200PHP with free drink. For details and reservations, visit www.facebook.com/AmpalayaMonologues.
It's a brand new year, and usually at this time, I'd be churning out an annual retrospective blog entry. I would flip through my old entries and take it from there. But the thing is, I never blogged during the first quarter of last year. I microblogged sometimes, but still, not as often as now.
So I'll play it by ear as I write this entry. Just a little warning, this will be long. I will also be quoting stuff from The Single Woman by Mandy Hale, a book I recently read which fit each quarter of the year.
"Be prepared to do things differently."
That was one of the best things I heard last year. I heard it during a discussion on creativity during last summer's workshop. And I took it with me the whole time.
2015 was a year of passion. I had a little more free time this year, so I wanted to do things I loved.
First quarter.
"The space between the question and the answer is a place of endless possibilities."
At the beginning of the year, I was working early with the core group of Lebran. We wanted to start off the year right, so we were productive in developing and revamping things for the new year. It was a great start, and we even got a whole bunch of new accounts. It was a busy but good first quarter of the year. But I knew that things were going to change after that, and no one can decide for it except myself.
I wanted to talk to someone, but every time I gather enough nerve to speak up, I start to hold back, thinking that it may not be a good idea. I was afraid that if I share it with someone, my opinion of things might sound different and skewed in other people's point of view. There was this one day of a mentorship program session that I was ready to open it up, but that session was pretty emotional, that I backed out again.
I remember crying during every March session of the Feast. Because of the fact that I was fully aware that things really will change, I didn't know how to deal with it. I didn't talk to anyone about it, so I kept coming back to the Feast to discern about it.
After a talk with my mentors and turning over all duties, I left. I spent a good 2 years with the group, and it was time to head someplace else. But I knew I still needed art in my life.
Second quarter.
"Don't give up on your dream just because it's not paying the bills yet, and don't walk away from your job that pays the bills just because you have a dream."
This quarter rekindled my love affair with the theater. At first, I was a little uncertain. But with a new attitude as soon as I walked into that first day of Rehearsal and Performance Techniques workshop class in Tanghalang Pilipino, I knew inhibitions will get me nowhere. With the help of my teachers, Sir Dennis and Aldo, and my fellow workshoppers, I grew more confident in my performances in class, right on until we were onstage for our recital. Instead of barreling through everything like I used to before, I was finally enjoying myself out there onstage, just being in the moment. I was in love again. I was in love again with the theater. I was back where I had left off.
It didn't end there. I went back to making time watching plays in the Virgin Labfest, and I even had a little comeback in the festival, as one of the actors for the staged readings on the Labfest's last day.
I was on a roll. A bunch of us from the workshop even got together again not only for some auditions and one little get-together, but also for the movie musical Ang Larawan, where Sir Dennis got us as actors and crowd directors.
I was known in the office for immediately leaving right away after my shift, but because of the change, I started to spend more time again with my office mates, something I missed. Every other Friday was a fun occasion, lunch with what I secretly call the "Friday group," when I got to bond with my office friends.
Then when Lesley and I got together for dinner with some friends one night, she told me she had read my blog about my workshop experience and invited me for the nth time to join Make Believe. After one full day of training, she put me on their roster of storytellers.
Third quarter.
"Seasons come, seasons go, seasons change, but the lessons remain... Embrace the season you're in, and when it's time to let go, embrace your chance to begin again."
There was a lesson I didn't learn before that God knew I needed to go through again. When that situation happened the first time, I was persistent, I was stubborn, and I thought I was right and had reason to act that crazy. But I wasn't.
I knew I was bound to learn that life lesson sooner or later. Only I had no idea that it would come sooner.
When it comes to matters of the heart, from the moment I become smitten, I tend to overthink. I'd go crazy just thinking. I would overthink so much that I wouldn't know what to do when things just happen. I didn't know how to prepare myself if things won't go as I had expected them to be. Which would be the reason why I did those crazy things in the past. Yes, I can really be a psycho sometimes.
So there I was, with the same feelings I had, in the same situation, but this time involving 2 different people. As much as I wanted things to happen as I expected again, that didn't happen. Duh. But this time I had to learn to deal with it graciously. It was great that I had one friend I could open up to, so I could have someone to talk it out with. But that was it. I still had to deal with this myself.
This time, I had to be more cerebral. I was grateful that these 2 friends of mine are very dear to me, and both very reasonable to talk to, and that helped a lot. I started to learn to detach so I wouldn't do anything psycho again. At one time, I even tried to avoid people, but being the social person and clingy friend that I am, I didn't follow through. But I was glad I learned to detach, and managed to control myself. It helped me when I had to face certain encounters. I knew then that my heart grew stronger, which will help me in future relationships.
I also went back to writing more this quarter. I missed how I used to blog practically everyday. Despite how a dear friend told me to stop tweeting every thought that comes to mind, I hated how I was being restricted. So I compromised. I channeled my energy into writing other things. I did interviews with actors; I exercised my writing by blogging a little more about theater again.
I did more storytelling at this time, but then I was missing certain movement.
So for a while, I took Standard ballroom classes again, this time under a different teacher. Now for some, they may question my loyalty to one group. But I have to disagree on that. Some may say it's a conflict of interest. Please don't take it the wrong way. I'm not trying to be disloyal to anyone. It's the hunger to learn more, to see which lessons and teachings are more suited for me than being bound by just one. Aren't we supposed to be encouraged to learn as much as we can? To spread our wings? It's like learning a new school of acting, learning different techniques. That's it. With all due respect, I appreciate the input, but like some people would always tell me, at the end of the day, it's still my decision. It's not that I'm flushing the lessons I've learned down the toilet or disregarding them. In fact, there's never been a day that I was never grateful, because I learned a lot from before. I still bring these life lessons everywhere I go. But eventually because of that, I detached. I stopped dancing and focused on my other projects, especially since the other events, like storytelling, were going pretty well for me.
"Focus on where you're going, but don't regret where you've been. There are no mistakes, only lessons."
Fourth quarter.
"...Even the dreams you buried the deepest are capable of being resurrected in the grandest ways. Sometimes life requires us to surrender our plans so we can realize our greater purpose, but know this: from the dirt of our buried dreams can rise the most beautiful, unexpected life-restoring flowers of our future. Never doubt or lose hope in the desires of your heart, even when they seem light-years away from coming true."
The last quarter of 2015 was filled with amazing things. I don't know how to describe it, but I just have to say that the flurry of things made it amazing.
First, I was supposed to act for a theater arts student's directing class. I accepted it without question, but then started doubting my decision because of the stress of traveling all the way to the other side of the metro during rush hour. I was about to back out when I was told that certain plans fell through, and they needed to let go of me, so I didn't have to worry about feeling sorry if I had to say that I was backing out of the project.
Almost immediately, my friend Mark messaged me about his ongoing event series called the Ampalaya Monologues, which I had watched a couple of months before. He wanted me to perform one of the monologues that he had written, so I was excited to do it. I was so grateful for Ampalaya Monologues in so many ways, because not only did it give me another avenue to perform (once in October and another in December), but it also helped me conquer my weird case of stage fright. Yes, I still have stage fright, but not while I'm performing in a play. Mine is a different case where I don't like standing in front of an audience (a very receptive one, no less) and having to face them the whole time as I perform. But once I stood there with the microphone, I wore my heart on my sleeve and began to enjoy myself. It felt very liberating for me.
One of the most amazing highlights of the year happened this quarter. And it began just when I started attending the Feast regularly again. After quite some time of sporadic attendance and regrets declining service due to schedules, I said yes. One text from Tony, our head of the actors arm of the Feast Bay Area's events ministry started it, when he was looking for actors to perform for one of the talks. My reply changed it all for me, because I finally said yes to serving at the Feast.
Serving at the Feast as an actor is quite interesting and refreshing. In the span of one day, we would have at least 2 or 3 performances of a skit that goes with the message of the talk. And by the second time, our performances would instantly grow as we got comfortable with the material, especially since we almost never rehearse before the first performance.
After my first time to serve, I immediately gave another yes. This time, to the Kerygma Conference. Not only did I attend the event, but I also served as one of the actors in the production number on the morning of the first day to open the event. During the entire KCON event, starting from the day we had our technical rehearsals until the Grand Feast, I met so many new friends, learned so much from the breakout classes, and I firmly do believe I was blessed so much more than I had expected.
Sometime after the KCON came the realization that I really felt that I had come home. I came back to my first love, the theater. I went back to the Feast. And I had been using that one core gift as service to others. The core gift of the performing arts, something that had taken a backseat for quite a while, and came back fueling me with more fervor than I had ever imagined. Even though I had extinguished its flames once before, it now burns more intensely ever since I had lit it up again.
"...Resurrect those dreams that you buried long ago. Get back in touch with the brazenly optimistic part of yourself that got lost somewhere along the way. Begin to cry out to God about all those dreams you hold nearest and dearest to your heart; then sit back and watch as He finds a way to bring them back to life. A greater plan is at work. On the other side of every Good Friday surrender waits an Easter Sunday celebration."
Mandy Hale also said, "The journey of a single woman is not an easy one, but we welcome the unknown. We embrace our freedom as the gift that it is. We pay our own way, we march to the beat of our own drum, and we ask permission from no one to do so."
I am a single woman. Not just in terms of relationships, but also in being an individual who independently finds her own way. As I stumbled and fell due to certain obstacles, God provided more opportunities for me to come back up again with more spirit. But I didn't do this alone. I wouldn't have made it through the past year without certain people.
My Lebran family, especially Mommy Val and Sir Brando. They shaped me not just in terms of physical wellness, but also in character and spirit. They all helped me become stronger as a person.
My RPT 2015 family, with Sir Dennis and Aldo. They helped me gain back my confidence in performing, even more than I had thought. They saw how I first tentatively dipped my feet in the water until I finally managed to let go and just dive right in.
Lesley and Make Believe Productions. After so many invites that they gave me to join them, they immediately took advantage of the chance when I said I had more free time. I learned how to make magic with children through stories because of them, and finally learned how to host.
Ampalaya Monologues, TAP and Black Table, especially Mark. Through monologues, they had helped me get over my crazy stage fright, even though I was trying not to show it by laughing it off.
My family of servant actors in the Feast Bay Area, especially Tony, Des, Joyce, Em, and Meg. My faith grows stronger as our friendship does. To sum up my blessings of victory because of you guys, I only have to say one thing: You are amazing!
I have to say this again. 2015 was a very good year, full of passion and a lot of other amazing things. I may have lost a bit, but I have gained and learned so much more than I expected. I may have quoted this once before, but it's appropriate for this entry to quote it again.
"I shovel out, and God shovels in, but He has a bigger shovel than I do."
To be thankful for the past, for the life lessons learned, to moving forward and embracing a brand new year for new beginnings and other amazing things in store for us, here's to 2016!
