While I was chatting with some of my friends online last night about a certain dilemma one of them was going through, I was telling her certain advice that I received quite some time ago. As I was typing the words down on the chat box, I could hear Mommy Val's voice in the words I was putting down. I was echoing the same advice she had given to me.
It was pretty interesting. I actually love it when I learn something from my mentors then get to pass it on to others, and they actually listen because it came from first-hand experience.
I remember a note related to this that I had tucked away in my phone. It was a note about what I was supposed to share with the rest of the scholars during our Saturday training. To backtrack, a handful of us attended Bo Sanchez's Holy Week retreat last year, and each of us was encouraged by Mommy Val to share something we had picked up from the retreat, be it from one of the talks, or one of the shared stories.
Below is part of what I wrote as a guide to what I had shared during the lecture part of our training.
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Being the eldest (in this group) doesn't necessarily mean you already know what's best for you and for everyone. I may be the eldest (here), but I know that I still have a lot to learn, maybe even more than you guys.
On the second day of the retreat, a woman shared about a business deal that she tied up with some of her friends. Some major things fell through due to the screw-ups of one member of the group. Some of her friends wanted to do something, and even encouraged her to do so, but she had decided to do nothing. She had to choose between the right choice and the popular choice.
This woman's story struck me, because I had to face that choice as well, and not even once. There was this one time that I had to cover for people because of petty excuses. Mommy Val always told me to stop covering for them, to stop babying them. In a way, by telling me that in her usual firm and blunt way, she was empowering me, in order to empower them as well. At some point she had even mentioned that trying to do the right thing for everyone would make you the unpopular one.
She had no idea that I was yet to experience that.
The biggest challenge of the same choice was after one big event. Similar things happened. I knew it was too much already. I couldn't cover for them anymore. I had to tell. That was the right thing to do.
But of course, just because I tried to do the right thing doesn't necessarily mean that I was still in the right at that time, because I made that huge stupid mistake by ranting about the situation and posted my rant on social media. Everyone saw it and was furious at me. True, I was trying to do the right thing, which may not be ideal for the others because we weren't on the same page yet, but that didn't mean that I had to act so high and mighty that I would spread it on social media.
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Popular choice versus the right choice.
I'm still continuing to learn this.
And I'm glad I somehow get to share pieces of knowledge or wisdom that I had gained from my mentors.
Thank you.
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