When you say "forever," what does it really mean?

There are lots of quotes that people send out via text messaging, assuring friends and heck, even just acquaintances that their friendship is "forever". Well, we all wish that all friendships would stay that long, whatever "forever" means.

Now there's a thought. When you send out quotes like that, what does "forever" really mean? Because friends still drift apart, whether you like it or not, right? Some quotes even mention some hope of never changing, but that's pretty impossible, because everything changes.

Once again, let me recall a couple of year again when Nikki had said that she had hoped our friendship would last forever. I had hoped so too, but then I suddenly said to her in warning that I happen to lose and gain friends at every year at least, so I can't really count on it. Ever since I've had a lot of friends drift apart before their group came, I've resigned to the fact that I can't stay close with one group of friends, save for my high school clique, and at least one friend from each group that I encounter.

That's it. Where are most of them now? Only one or two friends from every group stay. And what's funny is that sometimes, no matter how close you were with some of them, you still end up drifting far apart from them... plus the ones you'd never expect being that close with are the ones who stay.

Back in my first couple of years in CSB, when YFC was still a new org, I was privy to some of them, until everyone started drifting apart. I was close to a handful of girls and a couple of guys, until they had to move on and leave. And surprise surprise, Kel, my partner as assistant household head, is the only one I'm in constant touch with, even though he's on the other side of the world. I can truly say that I've been blessed to have this guy as a close friend, ever since the very beginning. Hahaha, I can still remember the first time we stayed in the tamabayan alone together. I hardly said a word to him, but ended up being tight before our org's very first youth camp.

With this next group I'm about to mention, there could be some people who may want to dismiss the prime reason (hahaha!) as to how we all got to be friends. But OK, I'll say it. We got together because of a common interest in Nyoy and his group back when acoustic bands were the trend. A website and forum was created, thanks to Jill. A lot of people had joined, new friendships were fused. The forum admins maintained a strong bond, and yes, I have to admit, I was one of them. Well, we still keep in touch as much as we can. But this one's actually pretty funny. Little did I know back then that the little girl that we had poked fun at (because she was quite the fanatic with animated stories to tell in her blog) would be someone I'd hang out with often. Peachy's my constant shopping buddy and goofy confidante, plus she was the one who had recently told me that I'm such a stupid fool for doing quite a task for someone. Never mind the gap between our ages, ahehehe.

When we all had started drifting apart, I buried myself in thesis work. Of course, because we were doing a theater production, we can't avoid having to deal with a whole lot of people. I told myself to have some sort of detachment because due to past experience, I know they'd drift apart as well. But of course, I couldn't help it. I grew really close to them. Heck, one became like a brother to me. Then Nikki had said that comment about being friends "forever" that I had contradicted to. She had ended up brooding because of what I had said. And ironically, she's one of the handful of people in this particular group that I've been privy to. Specially now that Mimay's in the US until April. Plus Nicco, who, like me, drifted apart because of meeting different groups. Though in his case, he sort of has this tendency to fall out of touch (sorry, bro).

Then when I joined a workshop last year. We forged strong friendships in out class, yet smirked when we heard a juvenile class had said "friends forever" right after their showcase. I'd never thought I'd actually get to bond big time with them considering that I had a busy schedule, but I still managed to make time for them, specially on Friday nights that lasted until the following day. About a couple of months after the workshop had ended, I learned how to lose a certain ilang factor. And I thank Betty for that. I know she would always be there, specially when I need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. In the span of less than a year, she has already seen me at my best and at my worst. She's been like the older sister that I've never had. Then there's also Tin, the younger sister I've never had. Like Betty, she's always just a text away. Even with the slightest random message, I know she's just there when I need someone to be crazy with, to cry with, or anything else. Like we had said lately, and to quote a play, "Shift... Ang galing mag-shift."

To the rest of my friends that I have met along with them, I know you're still there. I remember brooding about a year ago about people changing while I was talking to Drei, and he had said this.

If people change... does it mean that they're not your friends anymore? Did you choose to befriend that person's personality or the person himself/herself? Remember, friends are different from the people you just hang out with... Friends are the ones you cherish... Close friends are the ones you love...

I'd never thought I'd come up with this entry, hahaha. And to think that it all started by simply thinking a random thought tonight while chatting with a couple of friends that I haven't talked to in ages, and ended up talking about pretty serious topics. It just began with a shallow thought, really. But then, to quote Ari, "Sometimes the deepest of thoughts come from the shallowest of points."

To friends, both old and new, I'm truly blessed to still have you in at least one point in my life.

spur of the moment short short shoot

Yesterday, I found some weird email... Basically it was some guy ranting about some "diva system" he had experienced with some lead actor. He didn't mention a name, but there were a couple of hints that pointed to an actor that I know. What's more, the ranting guy had sent the message to some theater companies, including ours. He could just be bitching, and as the ironman had said earlier, they are mostly speculations. Pero tama ang ginawa mo, kuya. Deadma na lang.

Dropped by good ole CSB late this morning, then met up with Peachy. We had planned to have lunch together because I was there, then we decided to wait for Tin to catch up with us. While we were waiting for Tin at the "airport", Peach got a call from Jav about his film project. Hehehe, we had agreed to help him out. So when Tin arrived, after a little lunch at "this fancy place called Jollibee," we were off to Ashley's house with Jav to shoot his film project.

So there we were in Ashley's house with her and her brother Richmond (sp?), and we were all trying to figure out how to shoot the whole thing, specially because it needed some scenes with the lights out. We ended up altering the story (which Jav had just conceptualized while he was in the cab to meet us). Tin, Peachy, Richmond and I were the actors that had to improvise the whole thing the entire time, ahahaha.

For the final scene, we moved to the 5th floor of the house (most of the scenes were shot in a bedroom on the 3rd floor), and when we were done, it was time to eat! Yay, pasta! I've been having a craving for pasta, and this was an answered prayer, hahaha. Next time na lang yung Jollibee, Jav!

Chitchat mode right after eating, and I introduced them to "Jessica," HAHAHA! Mostly we just sat around, talking, until it was time to leave. Hehe, I'll never forget when Ashley found out how old I really was. She actually thought I was only 19 or 20!

Watching There's Something About Mary on some obscure cable channel. Haha, I remember when I first saw this movie back in high school. I went to the cinemas alone because I was waiting for Rosa to finish her piano lesson, which was scheduled every Saturday after my percussion lesson at the same place.

just pondering

I haven't done these birthday shoutouts in a while. First...

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FIANCEE!
 
Here's another one, for tomorrow...
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIMAY!
 

Ahehehe, both photos were taken at our showcase last year.

It's that time of the year again, when I get frustrated because I need to do something new. I want an extreme change of routine. I've been working for this company for 2 years now, and for some reason, I want to do something different. But the hard part in all this is that now that more work is pouring in, how can I say that I want to leave? And even more, who can take my place?

I can't wait for the weekend so I can have more time to myself to think about this.

people that my old notebooks introduced me to

I always keep an open notebook on my desk in the office, where I put my to-do list, random phone numbers I encounter from phone calls, email addresses, etc.

I remember looking through the first notebook I used. There was this name and phone number written there sometime back in October of 2005, of someone from Tanghalang Pilipino who had called the office. The contact person was inviting someone to attend some recital or audition or whatever. A week after I had taken down that name and number, I got to watch a play that was running in CCP by TP, and found out that the person who had called was in the cast, so the next time she had called back, I managed to match a face to the name. Little did I know back then that I'd actually meet and befriend the talented Wenah and the rest of the people from the world of Tanghalang Pilipino, hahaha.

I did it again this afternoon. I looked through the first few pages of the notebook I'm currently using, and actually found an oddly familiar name with an email address this time. We had received an inquiry in our email, asking if we already have a schedule for our next production. I gave a quick reply, and jotted down the email address on my notebook because I had said that we will include it in our mailing list. Then because of an interest of a hit local musical play, without realizing it, I found the exact same name owned by a blockbuyer. I had no idea last year that aside from just calling the one who emailed just a theater enthusiast, I now consider Carlo a BFF that Zshali and I can drag along with to the theater and coffee shops.

It's so funny how you get to meet people. And you'd never expect that the people you'd meet would actually turn out to be very good friends.

I was supposed to blog about something else, but suddenly the thoughts about that topic slipped my mind. Maybe when I remember, I'll post again.

Gay Birds again

Got to watch Gay Birds again, ahahaha. This time, I went with Zshali and Carlo.

We met up in Greenbelt at around noon and hung around at Starbucks, talking the hours away. Zshali had said last week that Tuxqs might come and watch with us, but when she had bought our tickets, he was still tentative. Aw, by today, Tuxqs didn't get to join us. Oh well, maybe next time.

So back to the play. I guess I'm still kinda wary about making a critique on anything, specially if I know some of the people behind it. Oh well. First thing, I have to admit that sometimes, the exchange of dialogue can be quite slow, so it can drag for a while. I guess I got used to quick exchanges, quicker pacing, ever since I learned it last year. But other than that, the lines were still funny. And get this, I actually tried to count how many costume changes Jejie had. I think he had at least 10, so maybe around 12? Hahaha, I stopped counting when I got to the 10th. Then I started wondering about the accents of the delos Reyes family. They were all different from each other. The father's had a slight Filipino accent like the rest of the cast (plus he delivered his lines too slow that I found myself waiting if he was still about to say something more), the mother had a bit of a British accent, and Diana's had an American accent. Huwaw. But of course, I still enjoyed the finale the most! Hahahaha.

After the play, we settled in Coffee Bean, just talking. Tin was supposed to follow us, but as it had turned out, she got invited to baby Nathan's birthday party at Kids at Work in Glorietta, so she couldn't really leave just yet.

Oooh, lookie. Our first BFF photo op, hahaha!

Whoops, Carlo got cut. So let's try again...

There, much better.

How appropriate that we were in Coffee Bean when we had it taken this evening, where we all first met. And while sitting at the very same table, sitting in the same positions, no less, hahahaha!

Carlo had to leave after a while, so it was just Zshali and me while we were waiting for Tin to leave Nathan's party. Half the time, we ended up singing half the songs of both ZsaZsa Zaturnnah and Rent, hahahaha! Then finally, Tin had arrived, yay. More talk, more laughs, until we decided to call it a night. But before we parted ways, another photo op...

 
We ended up standing outside the ladies' room, hahaha.
 

Lately, I still catch myself thinking about certain things. Sometimes what ifs, some random brooding. I hate it. Then I keep telling myself that it's practically the same as last year, so why do I feel crummier this year? Hello Hogi, you were pretty content when you felt the exact same thing last year, so what's so different? Maybe because... oh, stop it. Never mind.

 

This year began with lots of uncertainties. I didn't plan what's to happen for this year. Everything was always tentative. Most things had already fallen apart. Maybe I had expected it to, that's why things are still uncertain. Then again, maybe because I didn't set any goals for 2007.

 

I need something to look forward to, plus I need an outlet. Again.

 

Here's one more photo to end this post. When I was feeling lonely tonight when I got home, but I felt comfort in the simple joy of having someone just sitting next to me.

 

ask away

I sent out this text message last year, and posted it on my blog as well...

Ask me one question... Anything! No matter how crazy it is, I won't get mad, i won't tell anyone. & I promise to answer it. One time lang to, so ask wisely!

Let's see if anyone can come up with crazier questions than the ones I got last year. To the curious people, this is your chance. Nyak, as if people will really reply to this post.

Dreamgirls and others

OK, I take back what I had said in my previous entry that I had heard enough gay lingo in Gay Birds to last me a lifetime. When the dancers of BAE's The King and I went to the office this afternoon for a meeting with Miss Liza, I learned a whole bunch more just by listening to Kenneth, hahaha!

Those dancers are flying to China tomorrow. To Meliza, Cecile, Kenneth, Novy, Vinia, Victoria, Marvin and Gerlin, I wish you guys all the best! Hehehe, tingnan natin kung sino sa inyo ang unang ma-eliminate sa "bahay ni kuya", HAHAHAHA!

I still can't seem to write a proper critique about last night's preview of Gay Birds. Maybe after I watch it again on Sunday with the BFFs (and maybe Tuxqs rin daw, according to Z). But I have to say, I just love that finale! And the show got a standing ovation, coolness.

Met up with Nikki after work so we could finally watch Dreamgirls. The flick was great, Jennifer Hudson was perfect as Effie, and I envied Beyonce's figure all throughout the show, hahaha. There were a few songs that were taken out, some were added, but what I liked about the movie was that they added quite a bit more detail to the story, and then some. In the film, they gave Jimmy Early a bit more to work with, because of his drug addiction. They didn't show much of CC and Michelle's relationship, but I have to admit, Michelle coming in earlier in the plot as a secretary was something I didn't expect, hahaha. And Loretta Devine, the original Lorell in the Broadway production, had a cameo!

But my goodness, that scene where they sang "Family" was so much like a music video. Even Keith Robinson moved as if he was in a music video. Isn't a song in a musical supposed to be like a regular scene? Oh well.

I'm bored. Nothing to do tomorrow, rawr.