When you say "forever," what does it really mean?

There are lots of quotes that people send out via text messaging, assuring friends and heck, even just acquaintances that their friendship is "forever". Well, we all wish that all friendships would stay that long, whatever "forever" means.

Now there's a thought. When you send out quotes like that, what does "forever" really mean? Because friends still drift apart, whether you like it or not, right? Some quotes even mention some hope of never changing, but that's pretty impossible, because everything changes.

Once again, let me recall a couple of year again when Nikki had said that she had hoped our friendship would last forever. I had hoped so too, but then I suddenly said to her in warning that I happen to lose and gain friends at every year at least, so I can't really count on it. Ever since I've had a lot of friends drift apart before their group came, I've resigned to the fact that I can't stay close with one group of friends, save for my high school clique, and at least one friend from each group that I encounter.

That's it. Where are most of them now? Only one or two friends from every group stay. And what's funny is that sometimes, no matter how close you were with some of them, you still end up drifting far apart from them... plus the ones you'd never expect being that close with are the ones who stay.

Back in my first couple of years in CSB, when YFC was still a new org, I was privy to some of them, until everyone started drifting apart. I was close to a handful of girls and a couple of guys, until they had to move on and leave. And surprise surprise, Kel, my partner as assistant household head, is the only one I'm in constant touch with, even though he's on the other side of the world. I can truly say that I've been blessed to have this guy as a close friend, ever since the very beginning. Hahaha, I can still remember the first time we stayed in the tamabayan alone together. I hardly said a word to him, but ended up being tight before our org's very first youth camp.

With this next group I'm about to mention, there could be some people who may want to dismiss the prime reason (hahaha!) as to how we all got to be friends. But OK, I'll say it. We got together because of a common interest in Nyoy and his group back when acoustic bands were the trend. A website and forum was created, thanks to Jill. A lot of people had joined, new friendships were fused. The forum admins maintained a strong bond, and yes, I have to admit, I was one of them. Well, we still keep in touch as much as we can. But this one's actually pretty funny. Little did I know back then that the little girl that we had poked fun at (because she was quite the fanatic with animated stories to tell in her blog) would be someone I'd hang out with often. Peachy's my constant shopping buddy and goofy confidante, plus she was the one who had recently told me that I'm such a stupid fool for doing quite a task for someone. Never mind the gap between our ages, ahehehe.

When we all had started drifting apart, I buried myself in thesis work. Of course, because we were doing a theater production, we can't avoid having to deal with a whole lot of people. I told myself to have some sort of detachment because due to past experience, I know they'd drift apart as well. But of course, I couldn't help it. I grew really close to them. Heck, one became like a brother to me. Then Nikki had said that comment about being friends "forever" that I had contradicted to. She had ended up brooding because of what I had said. And ironically, she's one of the handful of people in this particular group that I've been privy to. Specially now that Mimay's in the US until April. Plus Nicco, who, like me, drifted apart because of meeting different groups. Though in his case, he sort of has this tendency to fall out of touch (sorry, bro).

Then when I joined a workshop last year. We forged strong friendships in out class, yet smirked when we heard a juvenile class had said "friends forever" right after their showcase. I'd never thought I'd actually get to bond big time with them considering that I had a busy schedule, but I still managed to make time for them, specially on Friday nights that lasted until the following day. About a couple of months after the workshop had ended, I learned how to lose a certain ilang factor. And I thank Betty for that. I know she would always be there, specially when I need a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. In the span of less than a year, she has already seen me at my best and at my worst. She's been like the older sister that I've never had. Then there's also Tin, the younger sister I've never had. Like Betty, she's always just a text away. Even with the slightest random message, I know she's just there when I need someone to be crazy with, to cry with, or anything else. Like we had said lately, and to quote a play, "Shift... Ang galing mag-shift."

To the rest of my friends that I have met along with them, I know you're still there. I remember brooding about a year ago about people changing while I was talking to Drei, and he had said this.

If people change... does it mean that they're not your friends anymore? Did you choose to befriend that person's personality or the person himself/herself? Remember, friends are different from the people you just hang out with... Friends are the ones you cherish... Close friends are the ones you love...

I'd never thought I'd come up with this entry, hahaha. And to think that it all started by simply thinking a random thought tonight while chatting with a couple of friends that I haven't talked to in ages, and ended up talking about pretty serious topics. It just began with a shallow thought, really. But then, to quote Ari, "Sometimes the deepest of thoughts come from the shallowest of points."

To friends, both old and new, I'm truly blessed to still have you in at least one point in my life.