Back to singledom.

"Buti ka pa, nakakatawa ka na agad," Rosa had told me when we were sitting at Figaro in ATC yesterday afternoon, post-breakup.

I was surprised myself at how I was yesterday. I guess I owed it to that talk (despite the tears) I had late Thursday afternoon until evening, which was better than the last time we had talked. We still ended up talking like we always did even before things started happening between us.

True, there's still that urge sometimes to text or call just to say hello or whatever, as he said I can still do so, but I'm keeping myself in check. I didn't want to complicate things even more, and I didn't want to bug him, otherwise that would seem clingy. That's when I realized that I've already accepted our fate, and that we were both fine with it. So we're friends, and hey, that's better than nothing or bitter exes, right?

Quotes from my private blog:

"I have never encountered a guy who could change me so much but still retain the real me. Ikaw ang tumulong sakin na magkaroon ng spine, kung kelan kailangan magsalita at kung kelan kailangan na tumahimik na lang. You were my guardian and my voice of reason."

"A friend once asked me, aside from my fear of heights, ano pa ang mga fear ko. Today, I suddenly realized kung ano ang mga yun. No, it’s not the fear of being alone. It’s the fear of not seeing you in the LT lobby even for just a while to hang out, talk and maybe steal a kiss or two; of not going crazy with laughter every time you try to tickle my feet; of not being able to have you put my hand in yours in that casual way that feels so natural; of not being able to hug you just because I want to or need a hug; of not hearing you saying that you love me in any way possible in the most random times."

We've both learned a lot during the course of our relationship. And one lesson that we had learned is to not give your whole heart to someone else, as you need to make room to love yourself as well. I guess that's why we're now trying to pick up the pieces of what we left behind of ourselves.