weekend entry 1: on my blogging

I didn't get to go online much this weekend, but thanks to my my best friend's laptop, I managed to still keep my thoughts and my mind intact.

Here's entry 1 out of 2 for this weekend.


Friday, August 24, 2007

Am typing this while sitting in Starbucks Harbour Square. Being such the dial-up baby that I am at home that I only rely on Internet cards to go online (because I’m the only one in the house who knows how to use a computer), my last prepaid card ran out, so I’m sort of deprived of the Internet. Thank goodness I still have my best friend’s laptop (hahaha, still taking advantage of its time with me) so I can blog out of boredom right now while waiting for the time.

While I was just sitting around earlier, thinking whether I should right down things to blog about once I go online, I remembered my little space on the web where I actually keep a private blog. Hahaha, because I had told a couple of friends that that is where I keep all my dirty little secrets as well as some of theirs (think of an older techie version of Harriet the Spy’s notebooks), one of them had said that it’s so tempting to hack it... well, if they knew what it was. Yipes, what in the world am I saying right now? Wahahaha, I’m saying too much of myself already.

Anyway, so where was I? I was thinking about that certain private blog, and then I realized that I haven’t opened it in months. I had created that account a few years back to write down all the things that I couldn’t put down in my public or even filtered entries. My first entry had consisted of a secret that I was too afraid to tell anyone yet at that time. It felt comforting that I still had an outlet for certain things like those. So I still kept that blog and kept writing. I had stopped blogging there sometime this year, and for a while I had no idea why I did. Until now, while I was staring through the glass at the bay.

I was never used to trusting people with my secrets. Partly because I grew up not being close to any family member. I was always the quiet observer, and very secretive. That’s why I found blogging so therapeutic. No matter how much drama came my way, I relied on my good ol’ blogs to keep me sane. That way, I don’t have to bother any people with my problems. Having that optimistic facade that I exude, I never wanted to show anyone that I was mad, lonely, unhappy, or anything negative. So most of my rants have been recorded in my blogs for quite a few years now. I remember one time when I was having a bad day in school because of particular people in my org. I got so annoyed with them that I suddenly walked out of the cubicle in my own quiet way and ran off to the INook to rant about them in my blog. A few days later, a couple of orgmates managed to find my blog and found out that I was ranting about them. That had shut them up. Well, for a while, anyway, hehehe.

Little by little, I had learned to be more open to other people aside from my best friends, who can make me as transparent as they want me to be. I had also learned how to trust my friends with certain things that I was afraid of back then. I guess that’s how I became even more of a drama queen, hahahaha! I know for a fact that a number of people who are reading this right now had already fell victim to at least a couple of Hogi’s episodes, ahehehehe. Anyway, I am truly grateful to those who had helped me open up more, be more vocal about what I’m thinking, and be more honest with myself and my own emotions. My apologies for having to bear with my drama moments every now and then, hahaha.

Anyway.

Avenue Q press conference was held at Greenbelt early yesterday afternoon. Hehehe, the only thing I usually looked forward to during presscons were the free food, and the occasional gift bags. After Crisdel and I had brought all the gift bags from a couple of sponsors to the venue (it took us two trips), we nabbed our own table and attacked the food. Hehehe, yum. I took advantage of our short time there with the food.

After Circa closes, Avenue Q will open. One more production that I look forward to, hehehe.