In the waiting room.

The title just sort of describes my state of mind right now. Not really related to the rest of this blog entry, hahaha. Anyway. Waiting. Waiting for things to be resolved. Waiting for at least a couple of things to happen. I've been jumping at things for some time now that I've been told that I need to stop doing so. So now I'm slowing things down. Lie low and wait.

I was chatting with Lara a few days ago about that "ilang factor" Betty and I had talked about at least once or twice a couple of years ago. I have to admit, I do recall a lot of "ilang factors" right on up until the day of the show at St. Scho. Then came the late night chats, get-togethers at Apple's house (I only got to go twice), and lost some of it. I guess. So maybe I'm not really that tight with certain people, if not most. But even in that short duration of time that I spent with these crazy people, I'd always stick up for them.

I'm not making sense, hahaha.

I logged in to my PinoyExchange account this morning and opened my inbox of private messages. There were some messages in there that came from a couple of YFC brothers I was pretty close to. And it was dated way back in 2001. They were both commenting on my rant that I had posted in my blog. I had ranted about their juvenile behavior, at how they acted pretty pious whenever they're obligated to do so, and act otherwise outside or even within the perimeter of our org's cubicle. I had never showed to them that I was pissed off or even annoyed at them, as I have been one of the org's prominent members in the beginning. I always went out of my way to take care of these people, and they treat everyone else like doormats or someone below their status.

An excerpt from Raphy's message:

You can't really say that you are too weird or too different for them to handle. We are all weird in our own ways. If they can't handle yours, then it's their loss. Maybe because their culture settings and upbringings are different from yours, but that's just that. But I believe that they really treasure your uniqueness from them. It's very hard to be associated in a group and to be recognized in a group. But it's way harder to be recognized as an individual. The only consolation is knowing that you will have personal fulfillment knowing that people know and respect you for who you are.

...I also told her that aside from her and you-know-who, there are two other sisters that I'm glad to be starting to relate to: one of them is ***** and the other is you. I think it was *** or *** who dubbed me as the "male version of Hogi". I found that comical, but I was flattered knowing that I have a sister in the community that I could relate to based on personality alone. And that was reason enough for me to say that I you are the type of "down-to-earth" people that I'm proud to be friends with. You don't really need to have a common bond with the others to be able to relate to them at first. It takes an extra effort to go up to the person and start a conversation with them.

It's a really crappy situation that we are all in, but it's what we have and it's up to us to make good on it. If they still don't like you by then, it's their loss becuase they don't appreciate your importance and the good things in you not only in the community, but as a person. When you do decide to stop keeping yourself scarce, I, as a brother in the community and as a friend, will support you.

God Bless.

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I've already been addicted to blogging back then (2001). I've been blogging for over nine years. Interesting.

Hahaha, I guess I'm just trying to make myself feel better during this gloomy and rainy day.

So on to some good news. I received a text from PJ early yesterday morning. He's getting married in January! Yahoo! Congrats, Peej!

Another bit of good news. A little project at the end of this month, yay. Thanks, Mandy!