The start of a new routine began today. I can't believe I'm actually about to do this. Though there are a couple of things in the way that I just discovered this morning, I have to wait and see how will turn out (or hopefully, what won't turn up).
What's frustrating, really, is that now that I've decided to shift to a different path temporarily, the avenues that I've been waiting so long for to open up suddenly appeared, so I couldn't go for them. Well, for now. I guess I have to just live vicariously through others for now.
I want to go back to being content, like I was earlier this year. There were things that got pretty complicated, up to the point of being cut off completely. There were even some sort of threats if I pursue a line of work that I want to, but due to certain circumstances, I can't for now so as to avoid certain situations. How unprofessional. But one thing I have to say, I just hope certain people will try to at least appreciate certain things and efforts rather than be annoyed by it right away.
So as much as I want to head one way, I have to head over to a different way. I suddenly got this sudden inspiration during the ride home yesterday. I guess that thought is a sign that I'm ready (well, sort of) to literally leave everything behind. That talk with Joe over coffee a few months ago also made me think, but during that time, I was still too stubborn to open my mind to it.
For these next few months, I will just live vicariously through others. To quote once again from Avenue Q, "everything in life is only for now."
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